


Juxtaposition

by thiscountsaspractice



Category: Psycho Break - Fandom, The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: 3Edgy5Me, Bondage, Chases, Childhood Friends, Crack, F/M, Fights, Filipino Character, Filipino culture, Flashback, Fluff, Foreplay, Gore, Healing, Masturbation, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Sex, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Song snippets, Songfic, Voyeurism, Wound Play, but you know not like waxing lyrical, emo moments, i need healing, latin culture, lengthy ass foreplay, ruben ain't half bad as a doctor, wholesome moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-04-06 20:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14064537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiscountsaspractice/pseuds/thiscountsaspractice
Summary: What becomes of old flames rekindling? Will they burn each other or burn the world together?





	1. Chiaroscuro

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely self-indulgent. I don't expect anyone to take this seriously. I was like, "Oh there's so many Ruvik/OC fics on here. Some of them are good. Imma toss my hat in the ring." For those of you here for a SPECIFIC REASON (I ain't gonna judge.), getting gets good at Chapter 4, 9 & the earlier part of 12.  
> "Juxtaposition" can be divided into Acts  
> Act 1: Introduction: Chapters 1-5  
> Act 2: Pre-TEW: Chapters 6-11  
> Act 3: TEW: Chapters 12-14  
> Act 4: Denouement: Chapters 15-18  
> AU's, Outtakes, Crack, atbp.: Chapter 19 onward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50/50. He's here or he isn't.

  
    Ca. 1995  
    The rusty gates of the Victoriano mansion opened with an ear-ringing shriek. Clapping the rust & peeled off paint from her gloves, Nina O'Hara returned to her jeep after her shaded eyes scanned the area. Like the gate's paint, the trees surrounding the dry fountain, too, have shed their leaves: fault of autumn. Like the gate, the grand house's exterior was falling into disrepair: fault of neglect. Emptiness echoed in the estate's aura for no corvid even dare cry out.      
  
_Maybe they **did**  abandon her, after all_, she considered after honking her horn for the nth time.  
  
    Temporarily slinking back into her vehicle's warmth from the cool fall air, the car's tires soon crunched the ground, approaching the mansion's front door. Taking the keys off of the ignition, Nina decided to leave her luggage in the trunk first.  
    Bred to be courteous (most of the time) regardless whether or not she was alone, O'Hara knocked on the grand entrance. Knocked to no one who answered. So she twisted the doorknob-- to no avail either.   
    Not worrying about trespassing fines, should they come to pass (she has money for it, of course), Nina continued her exploration of at least the perimeter. More chipping paint & rotting wood. Stone bricks overrun with ivy. Laying her gloved hand upon the facade, Nina felt a pang of sentiment.   
  
_The Victorianos got a lil lazy with the upkeep, eh, old girl? At least y'ain't covered in graffiti, huh... Just... neglect..._  
  
    As if responding to her reverie, as if wanting Nina to notice, something stirs from the house that makes her look up: curtains blowing in the November breeze from an open window. Only a story high: a mild challenge in leather digs (a knee-length skirt, at that!)  & two and a half inch heels, but doable. 

 

* * *

  
    Nina stumbled off the pane & into a chair, boots thudding against aged wooded floors. Careless of disturbed dust dancing in the cold rays of light from said window, she breathed deep, filling her lungs with nostalgia. Sweet, sweet nostalgia... But reminiscing can wait. Her shoes effortlessly loud against the floor, Nina exited the hallway & faced the foyer, deciding to descend to it.  
    Observing every cornice, molding, every carving on the banisters & doors, O'Hara could see the history & disuse mar the mansion's beauty. But it was beautiful, none the less. Beautiful, cold & lonely. Cold from the great fireplaces being long extinguished & never again ignited. Cold from the lack of electricity-- not a single switch in the house worked. Everything had to be lit by measly candlelight. Cold from seemingly no inhabitant or visitors, no living thing to make the house a home. She approached the front doors not to unlock but to admire the dainty patterns of swirling vines & leaves. She squinted at the details in the dim light.  
  
"It's oak, in case you were wondering."     
  
    Nina's visual study was interrupted as her heart skipped a beat, body jolting. Such a dry comment towards a probable intruder, rasped in that voice could only come from... When Nina turned around, it was like facing a phantom: towering eight inches above her & constricted by yards of bandages under a dress shirt & slacks: a modern mummified corpse. The phantasm's piercing silver eyes were akin to a dead fish's: glassy & devoid of life & light despite being so bright. However, they succeeded glaring daggers at her. "If looks could kill," indeed. The visually frigid figure sized up his counterpart: black everything: black shoes, black tights, black leather jacket. The only thing on her that wasn't black was her olive skin & the whites of her eyes. Yin & Yang anthropomorphized, facing each other.  
    Stalking forward, shoulders hunching, Tutankhamen cornered his prey against the locked doors. Now, those intricate details pressed onto O'Hara's back. She'd complain on how uncomfortable they were but was too locked in the ghostly gaze.  
"Oh my god..." she whispered, shrinking. Nina O'Hara placed her trembling hand over her mouth: a mannerism that surfaces during times of great emotion (like when she's on the verge of tears). "You... your...," her eyes never leaving him. "Wh... WHAT BIG EAR YOU HAVE!" She chortled & pointed, jumping back to life. "Do you still flinch when I flick it? Deadened nerves, my a--" before her fingers even came an inch close, a bandaged hand grasped her extended wrist. His blackened fingers grasped tight as he eyed the trespasser before pulling her into his arms. She in turn, locking hers behind his back in the embrace. He could barely feel the pressure against him. But he could smell the coffee on her breath & the perfume & shampoo in her salt & pepper hair. Incense, sandalwood. Oud, maybe. He wasn't hallucinating, after all.  
"Flick my ear & I'll feed you to the homeless," his smokey monotone lost itself in her scalp. He heard her chuckle into his chest but felt little of the vibrations.  
"Uncharacteristically charitable of you. Remember that old movie we watched as kids? " _The Invisible Man_?" You kinda look like him... Hell, here we are: in black  & white."  
"Where did your accent go?"  
"I dunno. I think I lost it somewhere between Angola & Angkor Wat."  
  
    And with that the two strode into the abode, his arm around her shoulder & hers around his waist.

 

* * *

  
  
    Ruben watched her from his teacup, lifting the fifth box into the dining room. Strands of gray had already made their way in her dark, wavy hair. That small tattoo of blue roses & thorns coiling around her left wrist wasn't there before.  
  
"If you weren't sure I'd be here, why bring the CARE packages?" he asked as Nina stabbed one with a cutter, dragging the blade through the tape.   
"Do you have a phone? A  _working_  one," Her eyes lifted from her stooped position. "Your own or otherwise? I don't hear a " _Yes, Nina. I, Ruben Victoriano, **do** have a working telephone. Cell  **and/or**  landline_,"" she attempted to make her voice his, breathing low to alter her audio texture. "No, you don't," she cocked her head. "We should know. Our family set yours up until you stopped paying the bills. Besides, I had to be sure in case you  _were_  here," she lifted a circular box of seeds, plums & dates in one hand & a bag of junk food in the other. "Kurkure: Masala Munch," it read. "And in this case, you  _are_  here," offering him the box, Ruben took a date & put it in between his teeth. "From Jordan... or was it Israel? I forgot. Anyway, bringing  _pasalubong_ 's tradition. You know that." He huffed, chewing the fruit as Nina opened the bag of chips & started to drink from her cup.  
    Just as she was about to pop the first corn puff into her mouth, her eyes noticed the newspaper haphazardly laying further from Ruben's place at the dining table. As if it was read days ago & then carelessly tossed.   
"Lemme see that," chip in her mouth, she began to chew as he handed her the periodical.  
" _ **SCANDAL AT THE ASYLUM** : Missing Patients' Numbers Continue To Rise, No Leads In Disappearances_," read the headline in the boldest typeface. Ruben continued to watch her. Her expression phased from curiosity to worry.  _What brand of incompetent do you have to be to actually **lose**  patients? If the nut houses back home can keep tabs, why can't they here? _  
"You look affected," he eyed her gestures & microexpressions: sliding her tongue tip to her molars, a twitch at the corners of her mouth.  _Of course, she is. Her & her bleeding heart. _  
"A little," her eyes never leaving the paper, brow still furrowed. "Personally, do I like seeing loonies waddle around? Is it pleasing to look at? No. But they have a right to exist just as you or I."  
    To Ruben, when Nina was her regular chipper self, she was annoying. It irritated him to hear her passionately profess of the places she's been to & the people she's met, inserting herself into the dilemma of some locality in the middle of nowhere she'd otherwise be uninvolved in; How she would see herself in the Other or the Other's plight.  She was annoying. But she was home: a remnant of the past, returning. Her presence wasn't unwelcome, what more with her studying a field that could provide insight to his research.   
"Even if they contribute so little to society, they deserve a chance at life. Science has come this far. Science can help them."  
"You're wrong, Nina. They can contribute much." She doesn't meet his eyes for even a blind man could hear the insidiousness in his tone despite it lacking any verbal color. What he said was not out of compassion.   
"But science can't progress with sentiment constricting boundaries."  
"Science without ethics strip it of humanity. Progress  _is_  for humanity. If not  _for_  humanity, then what? Hollow, soulless, inapplicable knowledge?" Nina folded the print and slid it back to it's previous position. She rubbed her head.   
  
Speaking of science...  
       
"Do you have a doctorate yet?" A question as dry as the lips it leaves directed at her. She stopped mid-sip, eyes darting to her friend's deadpan, bandaged face then back to her tea, gulping.  
"No. Do you?"  
"Nina..." Though monotone, Ruben's voice warned.  
"I didn't fail if that's what you're wondering. I... shifted."    
(Beat.)  
"You were several years away from getting your anthropology degree. And now you've consciously reset your progress. You squander your ability to hold credibility."  
"And you don't have that ability? To work your way up from what seems like ground zero, get skin grafts & deal with plebs on a day-to-day basis?"  
"No."  
""No?"" Nina crossed her arms. "Or are you  _consciously_ refusing that ability? Ruben Victoriano, you arrogant ass. You have no right to complain, mister. You had the chances & you didn't take them."  
"Anyway," she unwraped her arms. "Even if I didn't shift, Ruben, progress would be constantly delayed. You know me... You know my family..." With her left hand Nina tucked a lock behind her ear at a sidelong glance. "We may be rich like you. But unlike you, we don't have roots. It's like we were destined for diaspora."  
  
    Heiress to a telecommunications firm, O'Hara & her family were almost constantly on the move, uprooted & blown by the winds of fate & business. On her own, Nina enlisted in exchange program after exchange program, doing course-related fieldwork in-between. Her lifestyle exhausted her as much as she enjoyed it. But regardless of her enduring stamina, the memory of a place she fled from continued to chase her.  
"Not a day goes by where that moment doesn't haunt me..." She shuts her eyes tight, hands clasped by her chest as Ruben placidly sighed & sipped more tea, low-key studying her pained features. The two steeped in the silence like oversaturated tea until his voice broke it.  
"And here I thought I'd have a Dr. O'Hara of cultural anthropology aiding me on how culture & upbringing affected cognition & the psyche. What  _did_  you shift to?"    
"Philosophy."  
Ruben almost did a spit take.  
""The science of everything." I'm gonna be a professor of it. I mean, I was sure anthro was my calling... But I guess Levinas, Wojtyla, Marcel & the others called louder," she smiled.  
    Ruben stared at her, visible features not cluing into anything that would garner a social reply. He needed empirical knowledge on how a brain worked under certain conditions, not debates on ethics or existence. She may have been a childhood friend, but if she has no use--  
"Speaking of roots," she interrupted his thoughts. "I almost forgot!"  
  
    Nina excused herself from the room & trotted towards the garage. Returning from her car, she carried a 12" x 24" parcel. With the softest smile she could muster, she handed it to him. His look was barely questioning as he ripped the brown paper only to have keen blue eyes like he once had, stare back at him. Only hinting at a frantic rush, he tore the wrapping further. The first thing he noticed were the mistakes: a feature off by a centimetre, a freckle out of place. But credit where credit is due since Nina painted from memory.  
    Done in the impressionist fashion, every other brush stroke took to a life of its own, rebelling against its designated base color; Small flecks of contrast almost giving the appearance of glittering & movement. Ruben's thumb caressed the ridges of dried pigment.  
"It's like she's in the room with us."  
"Whose to say she isn't? Despite the burns, the pain, tremors, everything, you're still  _alive_ ," Nina's eyes switched searchingly from Ruben's blank expression to her piece. "I wouldn't be surprised if there was someone watching your back."   
    Portrait in his hands, Ruben exited the dining hall, Nina following suit. Handing her her painting, he stopped by a door in one of the corridors' walls. Hiking his sleeves to his elbows, his forearm brandished more bandages & scar tissue. Nina's eyes silently raked over them as he entered the space. After a minute or so of rummaging, he came back with a gilded frame. The bandages of his hands mottled with gray & black smudges, matching his fingers.

* * *

  
  
    In Ruben's bedroom, the two stood side by side before his desk above which hung the now framed painting.  
"Even if it's just a hobby," Nina began. "She was always my muse. When we first met you all,"  
_It was mid morning_ , Ruben thought.   
"I thought she was the loveliest creature I've ever seen."  
_We were about six then._  
"She's what I imagined an  _engkanto_  or Snow White would look like."   
_You & your fairy tales & stories from your primitive past._  
"A cold kind of beauty, almost translucent in the sunlight... Juxtaposed by the warmth of her spirit & smile..."  
"I remember she used to babysit us," he replied at last. "She'd chastise you for teasing me. What do you remember?"  
"I think I might've had a crush on her as a kid."  
"Oh."  
"We'd play everywhere: the garden, the library... hallways... the b--" Something catches in Nina's breath & she decides to discontinue talking for a second, swallowing. "But naw, she deserved more of respect really..."   
    The portrait utilized mainly primary colors in an eerie yet refined tone. Her frigid blue eyes radiated warmth despite their hue; Warm like the bloody shade of her dress & lips; Warm like the tranquillity of her closed-mouth smile; Warm like the golden frame complimenting the yellow of the sunflowers: the sun to the night-black of her hair. Everything about the painting emitted comfort, affection & subtle rebellion: opposing the foreboding atmosphere of its residence & owner whose clammy hand now curled dispassionately inside its painter's own.  
"After all, she's the reason why you're still here."  

* * *

  
  
    The sun had already set & the two continued taste testing the random snacks from overseas that Nina had brought. Over debating whether or not they'd still have dinner or what  _should_  they have along with Ruben's semi-constant jabs about her distracting him from his work, she realized something:  
"Oh yeah, where are your parents at?"  
"On a trip somewhere. They didn't say wh--"  
"Figures," Nina spat bitterly. "Alam mo nga, sa totoo lang," Ruben understood none of that. "I never cared for your dad."  
Ruben's brow cocked. Again, he began to watch her closely: her own brows knit, face twisted in dismay.  
"What kind of monster locks their own child away, especially after trauma?! He cared for his own facade more than he cared for you..." she muttered, cussing under her breath.  
"It's still there, isn't it?" Her seething anger shifted to grave worry.  
  
    Ruben Victoriano led Nina O'Hara down to the foundation of the mansion. A series of doors & locks later, they reached a sprawling complex. It seemed massive but revealed nothing; Like an empty, tiled storage space or bodega. Nina focused on the cell that served as Ruben's sleeping quarters during his post-tragedy detainment. The room possessed a keyhole to freedom: a basement window peering into the ground above. Many times before, Nina would escape to that very spot, kiss Ruben's burnt knuckles as his toes teetered at the cot's edge below & they'd relate the goings-on of their young lives. Now, waves of emotion began to crash through the older O'Hara's nerves. Her eyes & hands examined what was her friend's only reprieve from isolation as Ruben watched her eyes well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Chiaroscuro- "light & shadow," a Renaissance art technique dealing with high contrast  
> -anybody ever notice how MASSIVE Ruvik's ears look? I mean look at both his child & adult models: http://theevilwithin.wikia.com/wiki/Ruvik#Gallery XD They're like elephant ears! (For the record, I ain't insulting anyone but Ruvik & Ruvik alone.)  
> -"The Invisible Man" (1933)- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0024184/?ref_=nv_sr_3 Read the synopsis. Sound familiar?  
> -Nina was born in the Philippines but spent her childhood in Australia. Eventually she lost her accent from travelling too much.  
> -Pasalubong- Filipino custom of bringing home/ gifting souvenirs, food, etc. from places one's vacationed, worked, stayed, etc. at to loved ones.  
> -engkanto- Filipino fae folk  
> -Laura is Snow White. You can't tell me otherwise: skin as white as snow, lips red as blood, hair as black as coal...  
> -"Alam mo nga"- "You know what?"  
> -"...sa totoo lang"- "to tell you the truth"/ "honestly,..."/ "in all honesty..."


	2. Swine & Lepidoptera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 1983 & the owners of O'Hara Telecomms get called to survey Krimson City, specifically the estate of the wealthier Victoriano family. Not yet settled into the new terrain, the young O'Hara couple bring along their six-year-old. And the Victorianos have a son her age.

    Ca. 1983  
    The sun shone high above as sunflowers swayed in the breeze, decorating the countryside. The Patek Philippe read it had just past nine thirty.  
  
" _We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue_  
_And then we'll take it higher..._  
_In the dark side of town_...," Dennis O'Hara sang to Eddy Grant on the radio, drumming his fingertips on the steering wheel of his burgundy Lincoln Continental Mark VI. He flashed a dimpled, sideways smile at his Filipino wife, Rosa who rolled her eyes at him lovingly. Taking her hand, eyes never leaving the deserted road, he pecked the knuckle closest to her wedding ring.  
    The two had met in Shanghai eleven years ago: she was on vacation  & he, learning the ropes of business with his mother. As the cliches say, the rest is history.  
      
    The dirt path began to transition into a more wooded area as their client's property encroached. Approaching the gate, they could see several servants lined parallel as a man a little older than Dennis stood in front of the house with whom he presumed to be his wife.   
"Looks like they rolled out the welcome wagon, ey hun?" The Australian remarked.  _Yeah_ , Rosa's face shot a quizzical look but wiped it off quickly as to avoid offending their hosts while the O'Hara Telecomms car pulled closer. Parking, manservants opened the doors on both sides, one of them extending a hand as Rosa stepped out.  
"Mr. & Mrs. O'Hara," the blonde man extended his hand to shake. "Welcome to House Victoriano. I am Ernesto. And this is my wife, Beatriz," she nodded solemnly.  
"How do you do?" Rosa greeted, skimming her periphery. Lightly, she clicked her jaw & molars: a subconscious habit when pondering or examining something. It was like stepping into the early 1900's: the butler, maids & servants stood in full uniform; Mr. Victoriano looked rather formal, himself: waistcoat, waxed moustache & all. A tad overdressed for a tech consultation in Rosa's opinion. Meanwhile, Beatriz looked more like she belonged to " _Little House on the Prairie_ ," covered from the neck down in a floor-length dress, her hair in a tight bun at her nape. Their almost gothic appearance struck the starkest of contrasts to the visiting couple: their skin & sharp features an aristocratic pallor compared to Dennis' light peach  & Rosa's fair brown complexion. The dark palette of their wardrobe were the antithesis of the O'Haras' for Dennis wore a light blue, collar popped polo shirt (matching his eyes) that he tucked into his belted white slacks; White like Rosa's belted, off-shoulder silk dress that she accessorized with a blue scarf. Her dark hair's feathered fringe mimicked Farrah Fawcett, splayed out as they framed her face. Her waves bounced with every move.       
    Suddenly, the backseat door flung open, interrupting Rosa's observation. Down trotted tiny feet as a little girl wearing an OshKosh denim jumper dress, came around, rubbing her squinted eyes. Short, wavy hair in a dandelion puff of disarray. Dennis took the sleepy Nina in his arms.  
"I apologize if this this seems inappropriate. We just moved in Krimson City &\--"  
"Say no more," Beatriz reassured, smiling. "We have a son about her age. Inya?"  
"Master Ruben's out back in the garden with Ms. Laura, mum," one of the maids beside them replied. Beatriz met Nina's drowsy gaze & asked, "Would you like to meet them?" And with that Nina extended her arms to the Victoriano matriarch who took her.  
"I'll introduce them."  
"If it's no trouble," trailed Rosa as Beatriz clicked her tongue.  
"Nonsense. Ernesto, go talk shop with our guests."  
"Right. You see, Mr. & Mrs. O'Hara, we only have radio &..." the conversation began as the adults retreated into the manor, the staff dispersing. Beatriz made her way to the estates' gardens.

* * *

  
  
    Ruben could barely pronounce the sesquipedalian words in the pages he turned with his chubby fingers, let alone decipher their meaning. So the words stamped in blue-violet ink on the tome's fore edge " **PROPERTY OF MARCELO JIMENEZ** " in block font meant nonsense to him. Even if he did understand it, he didn't care. It was lying around. Finders keepers, doc. The illustrations however, he could interpret. Woodblock engravings influenced his imagination of veiny, tentacled monsters & floating brains pierced with orbitoclasts. "X-ray vision" for him to visualize what the inside of a person's head was like. Literally. The graphic diagrams made the young boy desire for a real specimen.  
    But just as his eyes roamed through a particularly detailed sagittal diagram of the left hemisphere, a flower crown of daisies dropped to obscure his vision.     
"Laura!" he snapped, looking over his shoulder. His sister was a solid meter and a half away, threading more flowers together. Apparently, she had a good arm. Ruben got off the grass & stomped to her, trampling her long dress underfoot.  
"What?" her eyes lifted. "Neat headpiece," her lips quirked.  
"I knew it was you."  
"What was me?"  
Annoyed & pursing his lips, the little boy pointed upwards to the blooms in his blonde hair.   
"Did you see me do it?"  
"No... but-but I caught you red handed," he pointed. "You're making them now!"  
"Even if I did," she returned to crafting the daisy chain, smiling like a fox. "You can't prove anything, Ruby."  
"I don't like the name Ruby. Don't call me that. And you totally did this." Laura stopped, tilting her head.  
"Are you calling me a liar?" And in one fell swoop, she pulled her skirt from under his feet. Young man Victoriano fell on the turf. "Would anyone believe you?" she loomed over him, grinning.  
"They  _so_  would."  
    Laura's deft fingers quickly found his armpits & ribs. In less than a second, Ruben burst into a fury of uncontrollable giggles.  
"No! Laura! Stoooop!" he barely managed in hysterics.   
"Who'd believe you now, huh? Huh?! Would they? Would they?!" Ruben flailed against the ground.  
"Please! Ha... I can't breathe! I'm dying! Uncle! Uncle!"   
  
"No uncle, only mother," Beatriz rounded the corner. Laura stopped immediately, smoothing her dress & sitting up. Behind her, Ruben rose, deadpan & determined, eyes focusing on the back of her head. Poof! He exhaled a puff of grass & petals that entered his mouth during the skirmish. The boy blinked, fixing his skewed vest sleeve. The daisy chain now sat tilted across his neck. He was about to take it off & strangle Laura with it until he saw the petite hand holding his mama's own.  
"Ruben, Laura, this is Nina. She came with the telephone people. Say "hello.""    
"Oh my," Laura snickered at her hair, sticking out at odd angles. "Ruby."  
"Quit calling me that," he said before he could fully remove the blossoms.  
"Get my brush & hair bands."  
""Get my brush & hair bands," what?" Beatriz raised an eyebrow at her daughter.  
"Get my brush & hair bands," Laura repeated. " _Please._ "  
"Very good," satisfied, Beatriz led Nina to Laura who had her sit before her lap.  
"And  _please_ , tell her to stop, Mom," Ruben got up, about to head inside.   
"Stop what, Ruby?" Beatriz beamed. "It sounds cute like you, my handsome little dumpling." Laura & Nina chortled on the insides as Beatriz pinched his cheek. The lad swatted her hand away.  
"Ugh, I give up," exasperated, Ruben retreated indoors to fetch what Laura had requested. "Women: you can't live with 'em..."

* * *

   
      
    Ruben had resumed his spot reading under the great willow while " _Ate_  Laura" continued to plait Nina's pigtails. Threading asters & daisies into her black-brown hair, Laura realized her place as the only female offspring of the Victorianos. Many times, she had tender moments with Ruben, sure. But not in the way of tea parties & dress-ups, chatting about boys (whether in disdain or admiration), relating to one another the lessons & expectations of a growing woman in a largely conservative society: curtsy this, piano that, tact this, modesty that. What was decent? What was respectable? Where was the line of drawn where friendliness & forwardness turned into overreaching? Where does politeness end & where did dishonesty start? Ruben was more technical, holding little interest for the novels of the Brontes or the plays of Shakespeare & the classical masters. Nina's heard of them but preferred " _The Thousand and One Nights_ " & Omar Khayyam's poetry. Though their sources be continents apart, that didn't stop the two girls from discourse, relation & recommendation. Together, they escaped into the literature they shared. And it all started with a braiding session. Some knowledge can't be found in books. It is in play like this did they learn of one another.  
  
    Immigrating to the States awhile back & having done business in the U.S. many times over before then, only now did O'Hara Telecommunications tread the land across Krimson City & Elk River Village. Before then, they supplied phone lines to locations all across the globe. By the time Nina was born, operations were undergoing in Makati, Philippines, close to her mother's place. But as soon as that was through, they returned to Perth.   
    Meanwhile, the Victorianos had lived where the estate now stood for as many generations as Laura could count. She didn't bother memorizing. The entire family tree was in the library somewhere. She herself had read of many a landscape but never even left town, being home schooled. (Nina recommended New York. "They have the best pizza & musicals.") Speaking of land, that's what Ernesto & Beatriz dealt with: buy & sell. But once, Laura overheard her mama & papa discuss something about disgruntled villagers. But they all shrugged it off. After all, the dealings were of private property, right? Laura asked Nina to keep mum about the eavesdropping & she said okay.     
  
    In lengthy discussions like these, Nina's diction revealed itself to the siblings. It was so bizarre that even Ruben occasionally lifted his nose from the text. It was a typical Australian accent but shared the Filipino honorifics--  _Ate_ ,  _Tito_ ,  _Tita_ , etc. Certain words & names merited a Filipino-Hispanic inflection from her like "EHR-nes-to" or "Beyah-TREEZ" versus "Beeyuhtris." Or "Lahw-rah" & "ROOH-behn" as opposed to "Lohra" & "Ruub'n."   
  
"Done!" Laura tucked the last stray strand behind the little girl's ear as she stared into the pond. Cute & sweet, her mane had been tamed by Laura with flora. Two small braids sat on either shoulder, hair pulled behind the ears, revealing small silver hoops: a gift from her grand parents. Ruben had been looking since the audio cue from his sister & found he could not look away. He didn't blush. His heartbeat remained steady. But his eyes were glued to her visage. And now, little white butterflies began to draw near...  
    Nina gingerly opened her palm. Not long after, one had landed on her nail. Containing her excitement, her eyes beckoned him to come close & share in the observation. Its snowy wings folded & unfolded. The boy hovered his hand over hers as their eyes darted from one another's to the minuscule creature. None of them seemed to breathe. It was as if the world stood still within the garden walls. Centimetre by centimetre, Ruben closed the space between the insect & his fingers. Consumed by curiosity, he quashed it between his thumb & index finger.   
"Ruben!" Laura cried.  
"You... killed it..." for a second, Nina stared at the smudge on her cuticle. She went on to grab his collar, "Why would you do that?!" hurt in her voice, tears threatened to fall from her dark gaze.  
"Eh," he shrugged, lifting his hands.  
"Why you..." Pushing him beneath her, Nina shook him violently as his hands flailed, one finding her face, trying to get some space between them.  
"Nina, no!" Laura hooked her arms from under the six-year-old's armpits trying to lift her off of her brother but it was no use. She had straddled him & pinned either side with her knees. Ruben grasped a handful of hair, killing petals as he began to pull & kick.  
"Oh, come on!" Laura exclaimed, as she dodged limbs & manoeuvred the children, basically dragging them along the ground. With grit teeth, she tried to separate them. However, she could hear the voices of adults & they were coming closer. The kids, too involved in the scrap, noticed nothing outside of their quarrel. Eventually, the great glass entrance to the garden opened.  
"Why yes, we can both conceal the lines underground and--"  
"Oh my God!" Rosa shouted, interrupting her husband.  
    Both couples rushed to their respective youngling, prying them apart with Laura's help.  
"Ruben! What is the meaning of this?!" Ernesto glared at his son in his wife's arms as she examined him, grasping him by the upper arms & turning him from this side & there.  
"Mr. & Mrs. Victoriano, I am so sorry. We--"  
"No, no, Rosa," Beatriz cut her off. "Ruben's usually a gentleman. Usually, he  _knows_  better," she sternly stared at her son.   
Rosa grasped her daughter's hand & crouching to her level, hardly mindful of her skirt, she waved her finger. "You & I are going to have a talk, young lady."  
"I'll say," Dennis cleared his throat, looking at them both & meeting their eyes, all serious like. "Whatever issue you two have with each other, it's got to go. At least while we're here."  
"Dad... are we moving again?"  
"Yes & no. I'll be overseeing the projects with Mr. & Mrs. Victoriano. Til then, we're living here."  
"WHAT?!" the two exclaimed in unison.   
"He's a jerk!"  
"She's a brute!"  
And those were the last intelligible complains from the youngins who simultaneously unleashed a verbal tirade unto their parents. Ernesto scrunched his eyes, lips pursing & fought the urge to backhand his boy. Rosa pinched the bridge of her nose, Beatriz rubbed her temple and Dennis buried his face in his hand. All four parents had to cope with their growing collective migraine before the lunch bell rang, coaxing it back. 

* * *

  
  
    The rest of lunch was eaten in silence & awkwardness-- for the children who'd occasionally glower at each other, making faces across the dinner table. No amount of Laura's elbow nudging could make Ruben budge or apologize. The adults on the other hand, began to rekindle fond memories of raising their babies. Usually, that's work relegated to nannies but Beatriz wouldn't have that. She'd have help but do most of the rearing herself. As did the O'Haras.  
    As the day wound down, the O'Haras were lead to their guest room & the Victorianos retreated to their living quarters. In the privacy of their respective spaces, a discussion between children & their parents was about to take place.  
"You mind telling me--"  
"What on earth happened before lunch time?"  
In his office, Ernesto sat by his desk in front of Ruben. In their receiving room, Dennis looked down on Nina, hands on his hips.  
"Talk, Nina. Tell me--"  
"Everything."  
Dennis stooped to her level. Ernesto listened intently, fingers locking under his jaw. His elbows rested on the table.  
"He crushed a butterfly!"  
"She tried to kill me!"  
Nina pointed to the space on her left. Ruben pointed to the wall on his right.  
"All this over a--"  
"Butterfly? Then why did you do it, Ruben?"  
For a brief second, Rosa's eyes widened & her lips puckered in surprise. Beatriz met her boy's eyes.  
"It was just a butterfly," he pouted, crossing his arms & staring into his mother's eyes as she bent down to brush a hair off his forehead.  
"He didn't need to. He didn't have to..." Nina's sigh trailed off.  
"Well maybe... It wasn't just a butterfly to her. Have you thought about that?" Ruben stood unmoved by his mother's question. Ernesto sighed heavily, head in his hand.  
"Here we are about to optimize our estate's convenience--"  
"Here we are about to land one of our company's bigger deals--" Dennis started.  
"And you disappoint me by brawling with the heiress of the people about to give us cellphones."   
"And you jump the son of our clients'... because... he smushed a butterfly."   
"Leave my sight."  
"That's awesome, honey! But jeez," Dennis beamed, putting a gentle hold of his daughter's shoulder. "Talk before you tussle."  
"Baby, we know you love animals," Rosa joined her husband close to the floor. "But you have to be a little more careful... Maybe you could teach Ruben that he shouldn't do that, okay? That even little things like butterflies hurt."  
"Yeah, pumpkin. Give this place a shot. For us."  
"Okay," Nina exhaled, hugging them both & relieved they weren't exactly mad.  
    Meanwhile, Beatriz exited her husband's office, Ruben in hand. That ugly scowl hadn't left his face. Her eyes shifted to him.  
"In the morning, you're going to ask for that girl's forgiveness."  
"You're going to say "sorry" tomorrow, okay?" Nina pulled away from her dad's shoulder.  
"But! I... fine," she swallowed her protest.  
  
    Just as Beatriz was leading Ruben back to his room, Laura's door flung open.  
"Just the man I wanted to see!" And with that she snatched Ruben's hand from their mother's & shut the door.  
    A knock rapped on the O'Haras' door. Rosa opened it to Inya, the maid.   
"Ms. Laura requests the presence of Ms. Nina in her room."  
"Go on," Rosa reassured Nina who shot her parents an uncertain look before taking the maid's hand.  
    Bringing Ruben to her bed, Laura opened her bureau. She returned with a jar in her hands. The perforated lid allowed the butterflies within to breathe.  
"Don't kill these ones this time. You're gonna give this to Nina & say your apology."   
"If it'll get everybody off my--"  
Knocking on Laura's door interrupted Ruben.  
"Quick, quick, quick!" Laura had him hide the jar under the bed for a second as she flitted to the door.  
    Opening it, she invited Nina inside then cleared her throat, heel stomping the wooden floor three times. From behind the panel divider, Ruben rounded with the jar, white butterflies fluttering about inside. Laura feigned a gasp.  
"Look what Ruben caught for you! He's saying he's sorry for his behavior earlier."  
"Then why's he still frowning at me like that?"   
Nina was still suspicious & from behind her, Laura hissed a whisper at him, gesturing to lighten up. Ruben's scowl faded into a more neutral tone as he handed the jar to Nina. Taking it, Nina's dark eyes watched the white insects flit about, some resting against the glass. Lips coiling into a smile of satisfaction, she held out one hand.  
"Truce?"  
"Truce," Ruben shook it.  
  
    But as they let go, Nina strolled to the nearest window, jar in arms. With a whisk & a pop, the lid came off. And with that, pearly little wings spilled into the evening air, floating white dots against the night's darkness. Ruben ran to the pane, Laura following with an inquisitive look.  
"Why would you do that?!" Ruben's wrath resurfaced, fists balling.  
_So much for diplomacy_ , Laura absentmindedly smiled, eyebrows raised.  
"Why would you kill a butterfly?" Nina didn't even look at him as her presents flew away. Specifically, why would you hurt anything that's not done you harm? Because you can? "You gave them to me & it's up to me what I do with what's mine."  
    Nina always adored animals. But she could not think of owning a pet. No living thing should have to spend the rest of their life in a cage.  
    Ruben joined her staring out the window. The butterflies must have taken his anger with him for his annoyance dissipated. She was right: by his gift to her, they were hers to own & deal with whatever her will was. And her will was that they live. Their first meeting, their first show of power & what they were capable of.  
  
    For awhile, the trio watched the night in comfortable silence & each other's company. The stars' twinkling seemed to sync with the chirping of crickets in the distance. Occasionally, the cool air would move the leaves of the trees. It was Ruben who first broke the silence.  
"Wanna see something?"  
"Hm?"  
  
    And with that Ruben got off the pane & left the two girls for his room next door. He returned carrying a textbook, laying it onto Laura's bed. As his sister shut the windows, Nina climbed aboard beside him. His pale finger dragged down the table of contents: L, L, L-- Lepidoptera. And flipped to the designated page.  
"These aren't alive but they won't fly away."  
Macro depictions of legs, proboscides, furry thoraxes. Close-ups of compound eyes, antennae: both clubbed & feathery, wings: splayed & folded, & the scales that comprised them. Monarch, Luna, Blue Morpho, Atlas. Nina drank the information as much as the colored illustrations. And the best part was that no creature was harmed during the gleaning of this knowledge.   
  
    Soon, Ruben had to share his literature, too. The three of them could devour the entire library if they wanted. However, along with the knowledge she attained, Nina harbored even more respect for creatures lowlier than her. Love, even. The kind that banned Ruben from sharing his "projects" with her in the family's basement. Regardless of how close they got.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Ate- pronounced "ah-teh," not "eight." Honorific like big sister or the Japanese "nee-san."  
> -Tito- "uncle"  
> -Tita- "aunt"


	3. Crybaby & White Elephant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship thrives among the Victorianos & O'Haras. However, bonds get tested after a great tragedy.

    Ca. 1987  
    Even after the project was finished: all the cables laid down & the property refurbished with a more up-to-date phone system, the Victorianos & O'Haras remained close. Getaways & week-long house visits at each other's mansions weren't uncommon. The children did not yet consume the entire library. But they were close. Hungry minds needed intellectual food & they got it. As much as they got closer together.  
    When they weren't reading (or discussing) every book in their path, they were playing tag in the halls or the patio or go-seek in the attic & closets; Leaving discarded shoes & miscellaneous messes in their wake along with complaining nannies. How Laura loved to watch Nina flick Ruben's ears or tease how big they were. The two would watch him flush with color. More than once did Laura have to intervene, lest Ruben be pissed for the whole day.  
    But when Nina wasn't there, it felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing. Laura would always have Ruben & Ruben would always have Laura. But without Nina bridging the two of them, boredom seemed to consume them faster.   
    Like this fine afternoon as they lay, facing the heavens. Despite the brightness of day, most of the time the sun hid behind sheep-shaped clouds. And despite the comfortable balminess of the moment, sleep evaded them. Unlike the silence.  
"I'm b--"  
"Don't you dare say it, Ruben"  
Ruben exhaled. As did Laura after him. Then Ruben exhaled again, this time louder. Laura turned her head to him, eyebrow raised & he, in a cheeky grin. Soon, they were both breathing out, in a contest to see who could sigh the deepest, heaviest sigh. They had to run out of breath sometime. A good, deep breath was due for the both of them.  
"I miss Nina," Ruben remarked.  
"Of course you do."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing! Pshh, I mean. Nothing. I miss her, too. It's just that... you're a lot less sulky when she's around. You know, you actually spend more time above ground than whatever you're doing in that basement, Ruby."  
"Ugh, I hate that name. And how can I concentrate when you two are too loud with your giggling. It reaches my office."  
"Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah. And you also hate it when she flicks your "dish-size ears.""   
Automatically, Ruben covers them as he grimaces, turning pink in the grass.  
"Stoooop."  
"I do. And it's not like I encourage her... What else would she call them? Satellite dishes?" Laura held her chin.  
"Oh my God, Laura..." Ruben whined.  
"White elephant ears? Maybe that's how you hear us! 'Cause, you know, your ears are so big."  
  
    Some months ago, Ruben was studying in his room. Laughter spilled from outside the window, breaking his spell of concentration. Try as he might focusing on the terminologies, the giggling continued to distract him. In a frustrated huff, he marched to his window & threw them open. He planned on nailing the ruckus makers upside the head with some weighty tome. But only found his sister & friend dressed in theatre garb.  
"BUT SOFT!" Nina cried in an oversized ruff, holding a skull aloft & the other hand, spread fingers on her chest. She was in faux facial hair. "What light through yonder  _Dumbo_ breaks?"  
"It is the east!" Laura wore an atifet. Knuckles on her hip, her other elbow leaned on Nina's head, looking up at her brother. "And Ruben is your sun."  
"LAURA!" They cried in unison. Nina turned away, blushing. Said weighty tome came flying for Laura's head. It missed. She ducked.  
"Defensiveness means "yes!"" Laura quipped further.  
"I'll show you "break!" Keep it up & I'll make like Puck & make asses out of  _both_  your heads!" Ruben screeched & pointed like a small, angry god about to smite belligerent mortals.  
"Oh yeah? You & what army?" Nina shook her fist.   
"The Ruben doth protest too much, wethinks," Laura hooked her arm around Nina's neck as she leaned onto her.   
"The army of correcting your sucky delivery! Now give me back my book!"  
"You're the one who threw it!" Laura chuckled.  
"You want it?" Nina lifted the text off the grass. "Come & take it!"  
    What ensued was a mini tornado of childish screaming, threats about vivisection & teasing about ginormous ear lobes set before the backdrop of a chase scene.  
  
Eventually, Laura's giggling faded. Her tone, clear & even.  
"But you know what? She's good for you. I've seen her try to reach you-- ever since the butterflies. Remember that? It's like... if she can keep you from harming anything else..." Laura stared at her brother's bright eyes & smiled. He's stopped covering his ears. And a great calm washed over the two of them... until Laura opened her mouth again.  
"It also helps that you've got a huge crush on her."  
"No, I don't!"  
"Defensiveness means "yes!" Ha-ha! J'accuse!" And with that, Laura sprinted from the garden, lifting her red skirt above the whirlwind of her feet. Ruben following not too far behind.  
"Laura!"  
    And it was true: Ruben didn't have a crush on Nina. What he couldn't stand was being accused of a crime he didn't commit. Let him be persecuted for a thousand sins, yes. He's had plenty to go around. Just make sure they're his. Besides, loving Nina wasn't a crime. To her, loving him sure wasn't. It was a mistake. And she'd face the consequences.  
  
    Laura was close to two metres in front of him. Her white shoes, tracking the kind of dirt the sunflowers were planted in. And soon enough, the old barn came into view. "Sanctuary!" her brain cried. Reaching inside, she shut the door behind her & espied a storage compartment covered by tattered rags. She chose her spot & waited. Heartbeat thrumming in her ears, she could count a minute had passed. Two. Two and a half. Ruben entered on the third. He bent over, sweaty & puffing. Clasping her hands against her mouth, they suppressed her snickers. The ten-year-old scanned the building, turning around & calling her name.  
"Laura!" he turned his back on her side of the wall. About time. "I know you're in here." Oh so slowly, she crept from the two-by-fours & ruined tarp. On the balls of her feet, she crept behind him. Arms at the ready. "I can hear you breathing," was his last words before her soft, pale palms blocked his vision.

* * *

  
  
    Dennis & Rosa struggled for a way to tell her. But if hiding the truth didn't kill her, it certainly would kill them: to see & hear their daughter blissfully unaware of a great tragedy that engulfed two people she loved. Breaking her heart this way would hurt less than lying. For all of them.   
"You ready?" Rosa asked as Dennis steeled himself in front of their daughter's bedroom doors. But his brow was still wrinkled as he stared at his feet, looking absolutely miserable. Rosa bit her lip mournfully & caressed his cheek & under the wet eye that dared drop a tear. She guided his gaze to hers as she forced a sad smile that swiftly faded. Withdrawing her hand, he sighed heavily as she knocked on the door.  
    Nina's voice signalled the welcome to enter. Her back to them, she was scribbling something on her desk. Rosa took a sharp inhale & clutched her forearms.  
"Wh...What're you doing there, honey?" making her voice as sweet as she could. Doesn't look like Nina noticed the cracks.  
"Writing to Ate Laura,"  _o shit._  "I'm saying I can't wait til summer break at hers & Ruben's."  
_Like ripping a band-aid. No, wait!_ Rosa's thoughts argued with herself.  _This is your daughter, goddamnit! Not some scab! Your deeply. Empathetic. Daughter. Slowly. Go slowly._  
"Nina..." Dennis choked. "There might not be a holiday at the Victorianos anymore..."  
Nina turned in surprise.  
"Aw. How come?" she pouted.  
"Nina..." Dennis tried to meet her eyes, tried to carefully choose the right words. "There was a fire. In the old barn..." Rosa had to turn around. Dennis continued. "Ruben  & Laura, they... didn't make it."  
"What're you saying, Dad?" Nina's eyes glassed over. Rosa rolled hers to avoid any spillage. Dennis ruffled his hair, mouth dry, he swallowed.  
"Ruben & Laura are gone, sweety," he finally met her eyes & they match his. Rosa faced her husband & daughter. All three of them had damp peepers.   
"We're so sorry, Nina... These accidents. They... they happen."       
    Nina's eyes dropped to the floor as she gulped the stone in her throat. It didn't help for her breathing only got more rapid. Like she couldn't get enough air in her, like she was being drowned by sorrow. And she'd let it. But not in front of the hearts who where hurting as much as hers. She lifted her gaze to theirs, loving & equally pained.  
"Will there be a funeral?"  
"Yes. Do you still wanna go?"  
"When, Dad?"  
"This weekend, we'll go."  
"We all will, baby," Rosa chimed in.  
Nina lightly nodded as her look cast down again.  
"May I be alone, please?" the request was only louder than a whimper as Rosa & Dennis backed out & shut the doors, not even hugging her goodnight.   
  
    Nina turned back to the letter she was writing & ripped it apart. Gritting her teeth, she allowed the tears to fall onto her table. Saltwater & ink mixed together, staining her desk & fingers. Tonight, she will cry an ocean & fill her mattress & pillows with wails & anguish. But not before she writes her goodbyes.  
    Laura always held her admiration. She was poised & exquisite but had a lot of gumption: a spunky kind of strength paralleled by her intelligence & kindness. The type of sister she wished she had. This kind of admiration would fill Nina's sketchbooks & canvases until her room was littered with the immortal image of her dead friend.  
    And as for Ruben... how does she describe the boy she's been crushing on when he wasn't a jerk? When he wasn't a jerk, he was brilliant, articulate & refined. So much so, he had snatched her heart & didn't even know it. Words could hardly describe her emotions so she just wrote. Raw & unbridled, knowing no one will read her letters save for the dirt above their caskets.

* * *

  
  
    The weekend in black came & Nina expected herself to cry. But how could she? She felt so... so... exhausted. Dry & numb at this point. There was nothing to fuel her sadness in a closed casket ceremony. How could she feel anything when saying goodbye wasn't being said to a face she knew? Dejected enough, she tore the letters & threw the scraps onto their respective casket as dirt was shovelled into Laura & Ruben's graves. And that was that. She did not weep there.  
  
    Everyone returned to House Victoriano where the luncheon was held. In the garden. Where they had first met & would meet countless times over. Play, chat, pick on Ruben... Ruben. Kicking off her shoe from under her lengthy skirt, she stroked the turf with her foot. She could feel the pain transition from a trickle to a cascade. For an open space, it started to feel constrictive, dizzying, claustrophobic. Nina's lungs felt like collapsing as her palm found her mouth. The siblings' parents were chatting with her own & though distraught, they hide their pain better. It takes a glance from them to realize two things: one: Ruben looked a lot like Ernesto & Laura took after Beatriz; Two: that she had to escape.  
    Jogging, the little girl ran along the mansion's facade until she found an alley, sealed by an iron fence similar to the grand gate's motif. There, Nina's back & head slumped to the wall as she gasped for air. Her sobs sounded like asphyxia but there were no waterworks. Nina slid to the ground & clutched her knees, sniffling. Mourning in silence. Mourning in privacy.   
    Why didn't she tell him she loved him? They were ten years old! What did they have to lose? Why didn't she tell him his eyes rivalled starlight? Or that because of him, she remembers that the corpus callosum connects the two hemispheres of the brain? Or that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell? He can be antisocial at times but heck, if he wasn't redeemed by his intelligence & the way his lectures made her in awe of both him & whatever he was teaching! Oh, Ruben... she swears she could hear his voice. Humming faintly in the distance... Ruben... Is that Debussy? O how the siblings loved " _Clair de lune_ " of the " _Suite berga--_ " Wait, was that a cough?    
    Nina raised her head from her knees, abruptly looking left & right. Her lips formed his name but no sound came out. She swallowed. For a minute she stilled, closing her eyes to listen. There it is again: the suite's third movement! Ever so faint & out of tune, it's there: in a breathy whisper & not from a piano. Then a hic! And a cough... If she was hearing things, why would coughing be in her own fantasy?     
    Hurriedly, she shot got off her butt & circled in place, trying to find the source. Right beside her feet was a basement window. Mentally demanding answers, she stared into it. Cupping around her eyes, she could barely make out a figure in the glum, overcast light. Almost in a fetal position on a cot, the blanketed shadow did not notice her. It's not that until it stirs does Nina remember to breathe & blink again. Blood beginning to course, she licks her lips & taps the glass. Nothing. She tapped again. And it stirs once more, turning at last to face the window. And when it turns its head, it's the look of starlight through bandages & fused skin that has hands clasping over her mouth & tears starting to form.  
"Nn... Nina?" the boy grunted, slowly facing the window. She's shaking by now & nodding violently. Her hands fly off her wrinkled, wet mouth & start clawing at the pane. His scarred eyes widen as he tries to lift his hands. He could barely do it-- friction & aches surging anew.  
"Nina! Nina, don't!" he rasped only above a whisper.  
"Why not?!" she demanded.  
"Shhh!"  
"Why not?" she seethed in a lower voice. "Ruben... Please... Please tell me that's you down there... Tell me I'm not crazy... Is Ate Laura--"  
"No. No, she didn't make it. Or so what Father says."  
    Nina's heart sank. But her mind couldn't be made up if it was equally depressed or furious.  
"Who did this to you?!" she hissed past clenched teeth. "I just went to your funeral-- Why are you down here? I could get he--"  
"No! No... don't. If he knows you're here, he'll lock you up down here, too."  
"I don't care if I'm there with you!"  
"No, Nina! My father will make you disappear."  
"I refuse to disappear! I refuse to leave you-- I thought I'd never see you again-- Please! Please... Let me stay... Let me see you."  
"You won't like what you'll see. Trust me. I know I didn't."  
"Do I look like I care?! We already lost your sister. I'm just glad you're not dead. Please," she shut her eyes, letting waves wash over her pink cheeks. It took all of Ruben's strength to sit up. A small dose of concentration allowed him to find the clasp & unravel the bandages to his neck. He could not feel the stale air kiss his wounds for all he felt was the neverending burn. Nina's knees dropped to the ground as a hand resumed its place over her mouth. Black eyes wide in visual pain.  
    Ruben's ghostly pallidity had turned into a blistered, lobster-pink. Expansive scar tissue covered more that three-quarters of his face. Not a single straw-colored strand remained. Mucus-like ointment had been smeared to alleviate agitation but the sensation remained. His right ear lobe was nonexistent & instant shame dawned on Nina. But she did not look away. For despite the disfigurement, she still saw starlight, even if they now dropped to the basement floor as the bandages wound back up his face.   
    It did not change how she felt. Burns don't make you any less intelligent. It did goad Nina to storm to Mr. Victoriano & demand he release his son. But his words stopped her, snapping her out of her reverie.   
"Promise you won't tell anyone."  
"What?! Ruben. Did he--"  
" _PROMISE._ "  
Nina inhaled sharply. She shuddered, nodded & bit her lip. "Okay... okay."    
  
    After a breath of silence, Nina decided to break it.  
"Have you eaten yet?"  
"Not since this morning. Usually the maid brings it by now but--"  
"They're all busy at the luncheon."  
"Yeah."  
"Wait here," Nina's sleeve wiped across her face as she got to her feet.  
"Like I have a choice," he coughed.  
    Face fixed, her back hugged the walls perpendicular to the buffet table. No adult looking, she stole a basket of fruit & a three-tiered stand of hors d'oeuvres in one swift motion. Those she could carry on one arm. Next, a jug of water, swiped from under the table skirts. Once the coast was clear, she jet out of there, beeline for the gardening shed. BINGO: a coiled hose & a large bucket to carry everything in.  
    Returning to him, she knocked on the glass. Ignoring the pain, Ruben got up. The wounds of his skin screamed. But his belly groaned louder. Slowly, ever so slowly, he stood on the cot. Tiptoeing at the edge & balancing, he managed to push the window open. Tying the hose onto the bucket's handle, she lowered the bundle to his cell. (After she took a plate of hors d'oeuvres & a bunch of grapes for herself.) Peering in, she could see the sparse conditions of his prison: a desk, a lamp, an open wardrobe & a nondescript bathroom: white, tiled & containing a shower, sink, mirrored medicine cabinet & toilet. Closer, she could see her bandaged beloved. Aside from the dressing, he wore nothing else but boxers. How swollen & angry the skin beneath the gauze looked. Her heart ached as much as she longed for him.  
"Is this the best you could do?" he asked, not unkindly after taking one look in that bucket.  
"Anything bigger & they would've noticed."     
    The next hour she spent eating with him, undeterred by the wall that divided them. Ruben was about to explain what happened that day but Nina discouraged him from talking, even if she wanted to hear his voice. He needed to conserve his strength. Heal up. Together, they ate in silence.   
    Eventually, Nina could hear the call of her parents. Scrambling as fast as the burns would allow, Ruben piled the tray, jug & basket back into the bucket for Nina to withdraw. Some four metres away from his window, she tucked her visitor's evidence into a bush.  
"I have to go but..."  
"Nina. Promise."  
"But!"  
"Go..."  
Not knowing what to do, tears started to form again. She neither shook them away nor feared suspicion. It was a funeral, after all. Kissing his bandaged knuckles resting on the pane, her eyes plead "goodbye" & fled from the scene. Retreating back into his hole, Ruben sat on his cot. Like a reflex, he examined the spot Nina's lips had graced. Two questions: Why kiss & weep for a monster like him? And why did he feel nothing: neither the brush of her hair nor breath nor the trickle of her tears?

* * *

  
  
    The fire didn't stop the O'Haras from visiting the Victorianos. Parents would know the grief parents faced losing their babies. Every year, at least once, they'd stay a week & visit the graves of Laura & Ruben, three of the party being none the wiser where the real Ruben Victoriano lay. One of the two people who did know would sneak away to visit him, bearing food & entertainment like cards, checkers or books that (thank God) Ernesto didn't decide to throw away. And if Ruben needed anything else from his former abode to be snuck away to his current position (books, letters, a locket containing Laura's picture, etc.), he could rely on Nina's hair & petticoats. Servants who brought his meals rarely interacted with him outside of putting his food in a hole through the door. So they didn't notice much. But most of the time, they just talked.  
    Nina talked about school, friends, charity galas she found power in helping. These Ruben couldn't care less about. However, he felt a smidge of pride knowing he had a hand in her academic edge. Trivia bids, recitation points & test scores all in the green because of him.  
    Ruben talked about the how the pain waned but would sometimes persist. Or how some areas died into numbness. Rehabilitation hurt. But he refused the skin grafting procedures.  
    Nina didn't ask why. In the back of her mind, she had an idea: he's holding onto the pain as a reminder to wreak revenge on the people who disfigured him & killed his sister. A goal. A raison d'etre. Inside, Nina was angry, too. Laura deserved better & she'd conspire with him if it meant gaining results. But what could two children do?! They had no leads, no idea who'd done it nor how to get Ernesto to free Ruben! A lost cause to anger.  
    In passing, Ruben mentioned experiments of his own invention. Nina wasn't surprised what he was capable with his mind even in such a state. Out of respect for privacy, she did not pry for further details. What surprised her though, was how could an adult, holding more authority than her, be privy to this & still leave Ruben's case unreported? No doubt, Dr. Marcelo Jimenez was on Ernesto's payola but confronting him could lead to him confronting her parents. Any misunderstanding could divide the O'Haras & Victorianos. And they did not need that right now.   
    Nina needed to see Ruben. Seeing him made her swallow the conscience gnawing away at her insides for not telling anyone about his situation. Guilt was a price to pay for his trust. Yet she upheld their promise.

* * *

 

    Ca. 1989  
    Seasons changed & time passes even in bondage, albeit a little slower. But in the company of someone one favors, it slips by like sand through fingers.  
"Rook to E5," Nina moved the piece for him as she contemplated her next move. The set faced the open window. A slanted mirror provided Ruben a relaxed view from where he sat.  
"...And then she said, "Ugh. Yeah, he's my boyfriend now. We just had coffee,"" Nina overplayed her classmate's quote while moving a pawn to G4, to avoid Ruben taking her knight.  
"But aren't they the same age as us? Bishop takes your pawn."  
"I know right," Nina moved her knight to F4. "And every one of my classmate's getting the new Motorola MicroTAC & they wag it in front of my face!"  
"Aren't they one of your bigger competitors?"  
"Yeap! "Better reception," my heine!"  
"Rude. Pawn to B3."  
"Right? Like, guys, were  _twelve_. Life's as good as it gets. When you're older you have to pay the bills  & manage the estate & company & stuff. Who wants to grow older now?"  
"Speak for yourself."  
"Oh. Right. Sorry... What were you gonna do?"  
"Pawn to B3," Ruben's eyes watched her fingers as she put the piece in its place & lingered there. "When I get out, I'm going to snap my Dad's neck."  
"I'll hold you to it. But... is that it?"  
"As for my mom--"  
"She misses you, you know."  
"What?"  
"She can hear you. My parents think she's delusional & your dad pretends the same. He shuts her up a lot. But that doesn't stop her form thinking about you & Ate."  
    For awhile, Ruben can't speak. The only conclusion he could come up with was  
"Being a couple is weird."  
"You're telling me."  
"Have you--"  
"We're twelve, Ruben."  
"I just figured since you complained a lot about your friends, I thought--"  
"Well there is this boy--" Nina looked away, smiling as she tucked a strand behind her ear.  
"Uh-huh... It's me, isn't it?"  
"That obvious?"  
"You oughta control your microexpressions, you big crybaby."  
"Well... what now?"  
"I don't know. What do you wanna do?"  
"Uhh... Will you be  _my_  boyfriend?"  
"Well I got nothing better to do other than sit here & rot til I strangle my father. So... sure."  
"Great!" Nina beamed until realization dawned. "I guess we should seal the deal..."  
"You mean... kiss?"  
"Yeah, I guess? There's no one around to play some cliched nursery rhyme."  
"Okay."  
"Oka-- wait a minute. Ruben, I can't reach you down there."  
"Hm."  
    Even tiptoeing on the tip of his cot, his head was still a foot away from the window. A lip-to-lip kiss was impossible.  
"Wait," taking a hand off the pane, Ruben brushed his chapped mouth to a proximal phalange & gripped the window's edge once more. "You've done that a million times by now." And with that, Nina bent down & kissed the same spot.  
"Guess I'm your girlfriend now."  
"Yeah..."  
"Once you get out, Ruby, Imma show you all the places we've been to."  
"I hate the outside world. And I don't like most people," he looked away, pouting.   
"Come off it. We'll paint the town red, you & I."  
"And call me "Ruby" again & I'll dump you."  
    And that was their arrangement: when the O'Haras would visit & Nina was done with the niceties on her part, she would creep to meet him, always careful that she wasn't followed. They'd knuckle-kiss & hang out. And they were content. This would go on for a long while but... as the cliches say... good things never last forever.

* * *

  
  
    Ca. 1991  
    An opportunity to supply computer goods, internet & ethernet hardware had just arisen. In Bangalore. Dennis & Rosa could not say no. It would be their last visit to Ernesto & Beatriz's. Nina geared to tell Ruben. And more importantly, make him break the promise she swore.  
"Please," she pleaded for the billionth time. "It's been  _four_  years, Ruben! Every time I see you cooped up like this--"  
"No. My resolve stands. I have a plan & I'm continuing my studies underground. Any rogue element interfering--"  
"Could liberate you?"  
"Liberation isn't my goal, Nina. Don't you remember? It's my revenge."  
"And revenge is consuming you as guilt is to me! Let me help you!"  
Ruben smiled at her damp eyes, "What did I say about being a crybaby? Forget about me, Nina. I'll deal with this. Alone, if I have to. Just don't forget our promise."  
"Please don't make me leave you like this."  
"If you don't go... I'm not gonna be your boyfriend anymore."  
"What?" Ruben kissed his knuckle & touched the window pane once more.  
"Go."   
    Nina kissed his hand. And she ran. Ran to clean her face before leaving the Victoriano estate. Ran away from Krimson City & their history there. Ran with the knowledge that she could have dashed Ernesto Victoriano at the temple with a big rock & spirited his son away. And wherever she went, the remorse chased her.

* * *

  
  
    Ca. 1995  
    Alone, adult & returning to the manor grounds, she hoped on setting right what & whom she had left behind. No more running away.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References:  
> -"Romeo and Juliet," Act 2, scene 2, 2-3  
> -"Dumbo" (1941)- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0033563/?ref_=nv_sr_2  
> -"A Midsummer Night's Dream"  
> -"Hamlet," Act 3, scene 2


	4. Eros kai Thanatos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited & rekindled, Nina finally has him in her embrace. However, Ruben has other plans.

    "It's been eight years already, huh?" Nina drank the details of the old basement window with her senses. This side was Ruben's view for years. Clean, semicircle, with an iron frame similar to the grand gate: a fan of glass & metal, stuck on a hinge.   
    Ruben never stopped watching the emotions that ran over her. She could feel his eyes bore into her back, feel him close the space between them. But she focused on the memories & the emotions replaying in her head. Saltwater painted her cheeks as her hand found her mouth. She choked out sobs. What was she supposed to feel? Nostalgia? Shame? Regret? Heat emanated off her back. Or was it coming off of Ruben? Heat that reminded her of the fire that took Laura?   
"Oh God," she croaked out. Nina turned around. Ruben saw her eyes sealed shut with water. Her head bent down in grief. Nina refused to allow herself from looking at him. How could she allow herself to forget him? To leave?  _My will's to weak for it's own good. Why am I **like**  this?!_ Even as she felt warmth before her, even as she felt her shoulders being caressed, her eyes remained shut. Even as she felt the hand over her mouth guided to lower so her chin may be tilted, even as she felt warm, coarse lips peck away her tears, her eyes stayed closed. It takes a long, slow, wet, deliberate lap to her cheek does she blink open & snap out of her self-loathing. She opened her mouth to protest but he crashes his against hers instead. Now her eyes are blown wide open, thoughts going a mile a minute. Shock barred her from feeling her head banging against the stone wall, her back pressed against it. Ruben's arms pin her on both sides. Her fingers splayed but unmoving against his chest. Surprise still in her system, she could barely feel his charred lips massage her mouth as she watched him work above her. Heart pounding, it matched her thoughts. Realizing her stare, Ruben looked down on the shorter woman & smirked against her.  
"What did I say about being a crybaby?"  
    And for a second, it all freezes: her mind, her heart, the gaze she held onto those dilated, silver-edged pupils. No longer did they hold the placid look of apathy. Something far more dangerous was in them: possessive & predatory. Then it resumes: his body leaning on hers, her body leaning against the cement. Breath & heartbeat racing. Think, think, think, she had to think!   
    To Ruben, that deer-in-headlights look goaded him further. Hand on her waist, he made her arch against his form. His touch lingered along her curves. Shock mixes well with fear. But right this moment, only one surfaced, at least physically. And it wasn't fear. But he could sense it inside of her. Deep, deep down. And he was going to get it-- even if it meant grinding into her all night long.  
    Eyes roaming, Nina searched for a chance to escape. That was until Ruben roughly gripped her chin, forcing her to face him.  
"No, no. Eyes. On. Me." And with the other hand he gripped her wrists to the wall, high above her head. Per his command, Nina glued her eyes to him. She whimpered as his scarred mouth trailed kisses from the corner of her lips to her jaw. His teeth pinpricked bits of flesh from her neck. She was already quivering at this point. But once he reached the corner where her jaw & ear met, a gust of heated breath sends a ripple of sensation through her being. Again, he smirked against her skin.  
    Now! Nina slid out from under her sweater. While he was distracted by her supposed fear, she slipped. The top that remained on her belonged to her lacy chemise, tucked into her skirt. They took one look at each other-- she wiped her mouth the back of her hand-- before she hightailed it out of there. Ruben smiled to himself.  _Excitable as always._  His eyes never left the open doorway as he took the sweater to his nose & breathed deep. The perfume of pure, unadulterated adrenaline. It was like having the real thing against him: small, soft & trapped in his arms as his remaining senses ravaged her; The smell & salt of her sweat & kisses, the music of her moans & pleas, reserved only for him.  
"Nina," he whispered. Ruben licked his lips. She tasted like lokum, pistachio & misery. No agitation tasted more delicious than that of a close friend's.   
    Straightening & folding her sweater over his arm, he strode out. Closing the door to his old room, he noticed something on the stairs. He gave a breathy chuckle & picked up the ankle boots she had ditched.  
"Cinderella is missing her slippers," he quipped in his monotone. Close to her shirt, he hung her footwear on his fingers. Ruben climbed the stairs back topside.   
    In his years in the basement, his cruelty evolved. His experimentations & dissections on animals persisted. On the many nights he would find himself facing only the company of his hands, he would see her: weeping, distressed. It aroused him like no other. So he saw her next, writhing underneath him in despair. Nina was the most desired game & she had just given chase. The hunt had begun.

* * *

  
  
    Nina had closed all the doors to the basement but neither one was locked. She had no time. Her car remained parked in the garage. The front door remained locked. There was no sign of bare feet treading towards the gate which too, left no evidence of being opened then closed.  
"Sneaky little witch. Where could she have gone?"  
    Throughout the mansion, he called her name. Nothing answered. Time & again he suspended himself in silence, listening for a pant, footsteps, a heartbeat. Anything. It was like hunting for a ghost. He roamed her most valued locations: the library, the patio, their childhood bedrooms & came up short. Nothing but undisturbed dust behind the shelves, furniture & underside of the beds.   
    Soon the work began to take a toll on him as a migraine began to pulse. It turned silence into white noise. But as he strolled down the hallway across the foyer, there lay Nina's jacket. Where they left it last was the dining room. Now, it sat strewn across the floor. She was still inside the building, he concluded. Nothing added up. He would resume his search tomorrow. For now he needed to rest. What he had of her would do.

* * *

  
  
    Nina was covered in darkness. Calmed but still nervous. So much for no more running away. Patiently, she waited for time to pass. Light streamed from the crack in her hiding space. Her mind craved rest as much as her body did. The lengthy morning drive's effects began to take hold of her. Sweat & fatigue coated her body. Peering through the fissure, she stared longingly at the king-sized bed. It was bathed in a lamp's sleepy, orange-gold glow. Layers of pillows & a plush comforter seduced her view. As if they begged her to drape herself on top of them. A hot soak in a tub would be nice, too.    
  
    Footsteps. And they were close. Nina sucked her breath in, remembering she was alone with Ruben. Falling away from the hole, she shut her eyes & listened. His wheezing was tired & dragging. However, these heavy exhales began to even out. She could hear the rustling of cloth but they didn't sound like bandages. Devoured by curiosity, she peeped at last.   
     _Crazy fucker actually took my clothes!_  Her articles were tossed across the bed. Her shoes were placed neatly under the table by the windows. Scanning across the bedroom, her eyes drifted to her bandaged friend, his back now to her. His belt was the first to fall on the floor. As he untucked his shirt, Nina realized what she was witnessing. But she could not pull away. Some gentlewoman she was. After unbuttoning the cuffs, Ruben began to make his way down his top til he could shed it off completely. He tossed it towards a chair. From beneath the bandages & undershirt, Ruben's lean but toned form seeped through.  _How... What have you been doing, Ruben?_  Nina gulped. Sitting on the bed, he took off his shoes. But to her bewilderment, instead of stripping further or changing his dressing, he sees her sweater in his hands. Understanding dawned on her once he put it under that prominent nose & sniffs.  _So you **can** ,  **do**  feel something, after all. You brazen motherfucker._  
  
    Ruben replayed the day's events in his mind as he swiped her clothes on his neck & cheeks. Her despair, her fear coaxed feeling back into his deadened skin under the bandages. Oh how her hot tears fell from her dark pools only for him! It was beautiful, her frustration, her anger. Fear especially. Her perceived terror drove him to the highs of ecstasy. Nina, his Nina...  
"Oh, Nina," he growled. From where she hid, her heart skipped a beat. "You'll be mine," he dragged her top down his chest. "Soon enough..." And lower it went. Ending at his crotch.  
    Nina repeated her familiar gesture. Blood surged through her veins. She stepped back what little space she could retreat in. Her pupils blown wide. She could barely contain a gasp as his scorched hands reached for his waistband. Slowly but surely, he unbuttoned his fly.  _No, no, no. Don't you do it. Don't you--_ Ruben fished his erection out of his underwear. Nina licked her lips. Flustered. Sweaty. One hand ran through her hair as she bit the other thumb's nail. Determined & exhaling slow, he began to pump. Healed skin let him taste the ridges of his uneven hands.  _Motherfucker, that was a fifty dollar sweater._ Nina bit her lip. Sweat plastered her strands to her face. Sure enough, her own fingers began their journey down. Pressing her thighs together, she slipped a a digit below her skirt. Her lingerie was already damp: a mixture of sweat & something else. Slowly, her finger pads circled her clit through the cloth. But it's when she hears him grunt her name again does more blood rush further south. Ruben cupped his balls, caressing them with his thumb & squeezing. Sweat beginning to form against his skin: both healed & marred.  _Augh, don't do this to me, Ruben._  Nina's other hand slid down her chest, cupping her left breast.   
    Here's where Nina's control over herself begins to falter & their bodies begin to sync. His head lolled back as he thumbed his slit. Her eyes rolled into their lids as she pinched her clit, rolling it between her thumb & index finger. Her other fingertips retreated into her clothes, circling her peaked nipple. Lust consumed the both of them despite being physically apart.  
    From the head does Ruben drag his hand down the shaft, gradually picking up the pace. Feverish under the bandages, he strips the undershirt at last. Tossed to some irrelevant corner. Sighing & moaning her name, its owner shifted her panties to the side, dipping a finger into her entrance. Eyebrows arching & unable to breathe, she bit the heel of her other palm; She curled the digit within. Exhausted & in need, she leaned against the wall of her cramped hideaway. Nina shut her eyes for a second. The next moment she peeked through the crevice, Ruben's unwinding his bandages.  _Oh, fuck._  
  
    Ruben's close to ripping them off his face in haste. Yards pooled around his shoulders  & neck. A finger still inside, Nina just stared. It's a lot less raw & pink from when she saw it last. Visually, she traced the ridges & patches of scar tissue. Her eyes studied where they started & where they ended. The pristine skin resumed to rival the pale of the moon. More bandages started to pile on the floor: from his torso, from his arms. She sighed. Her eyes darted back up to his face. The intelligence in his eyes never faded. They only intensified. If anything, the scars tempted her to feel their heat: caress their harsh terrain while she sat across his lap, making out for hours on end. It's this thought that sends another finger up herself. She stifled a moan.   
    Next second she peaked through the crack, he's flushed & stiff as a rod. Inhaling her sweater one last time, Ruben fell backward & writhed with the rest of her stuff. Animalistic, guttural sounds poured from his mouth. Sounds that fueled her imagination. Like him ramming her from behind as she gripped the bedsheets. Her fingers curled inside.  
"Oh God, yes!" Euphoria rippling through her has her tapping & banging against the hideout walls. "Yes!"  
  
    Startled by the sounds coming from his antique wardrobe, Ruben tucked his penis back into his boxers. After a couple of violent taps & shaking from within, he decided to investigate. But he had an idea of what was inside. A smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. He realized he's trapped his Cinderella. Gingerly, he stalked towards the closet. Ruben placed an ear against the door. He could hear mewling & breathy sighs. He jerked both doors open. There, crumpled in a corner, was Nina, sucking on two of her fingers. Her legs were splayed across: one bent, one stretched. Her skirt hiked up to her thighs & hair in a dishevelled mess.  
"Caught you."    
"Not yet, you don't."   
  
    Before he could wrap his arms around her, she dives for the space beside him. Pouncing on the bed, she bounced playfully before he could catch up. She rolled away just as Ruben had leapt for the mattress. Nina stuck her tongue out at him. And for a second, he's caught her mouth: sucking on he upper lip in an upside down kiss as he lay on the bed. His arm hooked around her neck, making her lean. The other hand clutched her wrist. But with a pull & a twist, she yanked herself free of him. Then made a dash for the furthest corner. Just as she's bracing the walls, looking up at him, just when he thinks he's got her, backed up & nowhere to go, Nina sprints from under the arms he's pinned her with. She vaulted over the comforter. Back to that side of the bed again & he on the other. Ruben mirrored her movements from across the divide. In a split second decision, he dove across the expanse, arm outstretched. But she's literally out of reach. Nina giggled as she snatched his shirt off the chair & ran for the door. She stopped as he lay prone on the comforter & her clothes. Ruben watched as she draped his shirt over her shoulders, popping her hands through the sleeves. Eyes on him, she sniffed his collar.  
"You want me so bad?" Nina ruffled her hair, other hand on her hip.  
"You little tease."  
"I wouldn't be a tease IF YOU ACTUALLY CAUGHT ME!" she pouted before jumping into a giddy sprint out of the master bed room.  
    Ruben took his aim & once he was sure, he pitched. The pillow decked Nina behind the knees, making her stumble & trip. A few stutters short of a faceplant. All he had to do was claim his prize. Nina wasn't the most dangerous game but she sure was surprising. Turning on her back, she propped herself on her elbows.   
"I believe you have my shirt, miss," Ruben loomed over her like a smirking spectre in undone slacks. Squatting above her torso, he cupped her chin. Nina pulled back a little & shifted her leg so that one of his was between hers. Blackened fingers trailed up her jaw to take a plait of hair between her eyes & brush it behind her ear.  
"Hey Ruben?" she whispered.  
"Mh," his stare lingered on the strands he touched.  
"Psych," Nina pinned her thighs together & twisted. Ruben caught himself, bouncing against her hip. Wriggling from under him, Nina got to her feet once more. Once more, she sprinted away.  
    Inside, annoyance began to mingle with enjoyment. But he couldn't care less. Fear had not surfaced. Shock had died. But he was hooked & hell bent on catching that slippery little eel & pinning her to his bed.  
    Getting off the ground, Ruben walked towards her general direction. But a yelped curse & the warning call of his name sent him jogging.  
  
    It was a miracle Nina could run in tights. (In a knee-length leather skirt, no less!) Dozens of metres of wooden track & she hasn't slipped once. Once or twice she'd glance behind her. She made sure to cut him some slack then reel him in with a chase. It's when she's not looking does pain blind her. A footfall had pressed a plank further down.  
"Fuck!" Next thing she knew, she was on the floor. Next thing she knew, metal tore through her ankle & calf. "Ruben!" Coiled around her limb was a tangle of barbed wire.  
  
    Ruben jerked to a halt at the sight of Nina on the floor: panting & bloodied from the shin down.  
"Well, don't just stare at me, damnit! Help me!" she cried more in annoyance than distress. Ruben got closer. Nina thought he was about to touch the barbs barehanded. That was until he grabbed a fistful of hair, yanked back & attacked her mouth. The movement tears a little more skin. But she's too distracted by the contrast of the roughness of his lips & the slickness of his tongue. It's not until they're both breathless does he pull back.  
"Wait here," he panted. And left.  
"Like I have a choice!" she cried to his back. He glanced a smile at her from his shoulder & she returned it.  _Good times._  Then Nina sat still to avoid further cutting herself while her man fetched a pair of pliers.

* * *

  
  
    Ruben cut in between the spikes closest to the skin, closest to where the knots were the most unmanageable. Nina's eyes followed his work. Obviously, he's done this before. Did she want to know? Once free of the floor, a sizeable spool remained wrapped around her left leg. Ruben pocketed the pliers. Stooping, he scooped her in his arms as she clung to his neck for stability. The pain didn't stop her from holding her bloody leg aloft to avoid scratching the shirtless Ruben.  
    The nearest bathroom was at the corner of the foyer. Slowly, they made their way down the grand staircase. Downstairs, Ruben perched her on the sink, her back against a baroque mirror. In the bathroom, he resumed his work. Below her, he continued cutting the barbed wire, snapping sections off, one by one. Occasionally, he'd look up at his partner.    
"What?" she asked. He only continued. Nina was perplexed. She shot him a look but figured this is how he worked. Which reminds one... "What... was that? Why the fuck do you have a trap up there? What's going on?"  
Ruben removed the last piece of offending metal. He looked at her again.  
"You're not crying."  
"Hm? Ah. Yes. Though physical pain & emotional pain are correlated, physical pain just bothers me less I guess," she shrugged. "I chalk it up to crying all the time. I guess the constant catharsis has made me more resistant to... superficial wounds like a paintball bruise or an Andalusian biking scrape."  
"Mh. You mean like this?"  
"Ah! Jesus. Fuck! Ruben!" Nina twisted, gripping the sink. Mouth agape in a silent, shut-eye scream. Ruben had stuck his finger into one of her wounds & twisted in. The other hand squeezed her calf as his nail dug deeper. Nina's toes curled in pain. Satisfied for now, Ruben withdrew. Nina panted, glowering at him. But the anger in eyes shifted, once she saw & felt his lips lay a chaste kiss on the puncture wound. His eyes swiftly darted to her as he licked his lips. Then he tasted her on his fingertip, wrapping his mouth around the appendage.   
"You, mister, are touched in the head," she blushed.  
"Would you have me any other way?" he chuckled darkly as he stood & gripped her hips. Nina turned her head away for a second. Her wrists crossed behind his neck.  
"No, yeah. I dunno. And I don't wanna know. Don't make me change my mind... Change my... un-made-up... mind," she pecked his nose & would have lingered if not for her blood dripping down her leg.  
"Um, Ruben?"  
"Hm?" She pointed down. "Right."  
    Ruben pushed the leather upwards. Apparently, they were only stockings, not tights. Pressing a scissor to her thigh, Ruben dragged it down. The cold steel raised gooseflesh in its wake. The sound of cutting & nylon tearing ripped through the dry air. Next, he supported her calf with a towel. Nina's foot rested on his knee. With the other hand, he picked up a bottle. One of the benefits of knowing Ruben Victoriano: countless rolls of bandages & a stock of drugs to choose from. Like he owned his own botika. (Knowing him, he probably did.) He used his thumb & forefinger to unscrew the cap. Her eyes flashed as she anticipated the sting of hydrogen peroxide. It washed over her shin in a fizzy waterfall. Soundlessly, Nina looked away, cringing her eyes shut. She could barely feel her teeth on the heel of her palm. Again, Ruben's eyes flit to her pained expression. His erection strained against his underwear.  _Are you enjoying the view, you sadistic fuck?_  Thinking of giving him a better one, Nina's right toes slid up his arm & deltoid. Her sole found rest on his shoulder. Clothed foot on his naked skin-- on a pristine area she knew he could feel. Ruben looks up & cocks an eyebrow at her soaked panties.  _How do you like me now?_ With a smile, he briefly glided a hand onto her midfoot. Pressed cheek above her ankle as he pecked below her shin & calf.    
    Once he's stared enough, he screwed the cap back on & pads any excess antiseptic away. Afterwards, he took a tube & unscrewed the cap as well. Ruben squeezed out hefty dollops of Fucidin & slathered her leg lovingly. Content, she sighed & leaned against the cool mirror. If only there were more moments like this instead of him getting off on her hurt.  _Wishful thinking, I guess. But where's the excitement in that? Still, though..._ However, Ruben's expression grew bored as he massaged her leg. Pleasant for her, uneventful for him. Unsatiating. Nina noticed.  _Yeah? Well, deal with it, pal! Your trap, your aftercare._  
    His warm hands rubbing over the wounds must have made her doze off. Because the next moment she opened them, her leg's all bandaged up  & he's loading a cotton ball with alcohol. A cool sensation spread around her shoulder. Then he's withdrawing medicine from a vial. Two flicks at the syringe barrel & he's good. Her eyes didn't look scared, just unsure.   
"For tetanus," he confirmed.  
She nodded. And with that he stuck the needle in her deltoid & pushed the plunger. It didn't hurt. No more than an ant bite. A fresh cotton ball met where the needle left. She smiled to herself softly.  
"Questionable professionalism & rapport with patients aside, you could've been a good doctor."  
"The cause of those traps."  
"Excuse me?"  
"One doctor."  
"You don't mean... Don't tell me it's--"  
"Jimenez," they both grimaced in unison. His name left their mouths tasting like cough syrup.   
"Ugh," Nina added.    
      
    Dr. Marcelo Jimenez. Another thorn in their side besides Ernesto. To Nina, the man was cowardice personified. He had the power to stop Ruben's abuse at any given time. (Hell, he could have probably formalized Ruben's tutelage under him.) So why didn't he? And aside from occasionally leaving Ruben to rot under his father's supervision, Jimenez had appropriated Ruben's research multiple times. Guided by paranoia, Ruben safeguarded his property (intellectual or otherwise) in one of the ways he knew how.  
"And you call me an eel. That slimy snake. Who does he think he is?"  
"My mentor," Ruben cringed at the words.  
"More like traitor."  
"An insect whose self-worth is highly misplaced. Hmph. No matter. Let's not ruin this with thoughts of that worm," he stood. And closed the space between them.  
"Yes. Let's not," with clouded eyes, her arms found his shoulders.   
   
    But before she could kiss him, a grasp on her wrist has her retracting it, unflinching.  
"You owe me a new shirt. You got blood on this one."  
"I'll wash it tomorrow. In the tub. Feel free to join me."  
They match coy smiles. Until Nina hooked her right leg against his hip.     
"Forgetting something?" But just as he heads down & his scarred fingers hook the band of her stocking, almost clawing inward into her thigh, it's her hands at his wrists now.  
"Ah-ah-ah," one hand gripped his chin. "If you can undress me with those eyes, you can undress me with those teeth," but before her thumb can glide across his lower lip, he swats her hand away in a sneer. His own pair landed heavily on each thigh with a slap. Nina's nerves jolted. Ruben stared her down.  
"Don't tell me what to do."  
"Ah! Ruben!" He takes a big sudden bite into the flesh just above the garter. Ruben lapped the area right before puckering his mouth around the mark. He suckles her skin & once again, her heart's awake & racing.  _It's a good thing I'm sitting on a sink o-- Oh- ngh! God!_  Sucking at her inner thigh, he stared at the redness blooming around her cheeks. It matches her thigh. The vexed look in his eyes has come back. He smiled into her flesh. Another second passed & he finally catches the band with his teeth, dragging down. Once, the hosiery's free of her foot, it's discarded to irrelevance.  
    In one sweep, he's crashed into her mouth again. It's a surprise the mirror didn't break. His hand pressed into the tender area he'd just left. The other, pressing onto her waist, pulling her to him. Nina's legs locked around his waist. Her soft palms found a place on his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. The two pairs of lips moved synchronously against each other. A little of push & pull. The grind of teeth. The slide of tongues.     
    Once their lungs burned for air, their foreheads claimed rest on one another. Mouths so close they shared the air they took. Her eyes are closed again. She stretched her arms over his shoulders before linking wrists.  
    Once again he yearned for her fear. He wondered if he could lure it out. They got here now because of what he pulled underground. So what if he tried again?  
    Nina's eyes stayed closed. But her back & eyebrows arched. A hot, wet muscle sliding across her jaw. It lapped the crook of her neck. Coarse lips & teeth that bite repeated what they'd done to her thigh.  
"Ohhh... Ruben..." gone was the sudden shrillness when she purred his name. The whiny, nagging tone was replaced with something pleased but needy & drawn out. This was followed by other soft noises: "oohs" & hums resonating from the back of her throat. He could feel their vibrations as he worked her neck with his mouth. He decided he liked this better. Fear would have to wait.  
    With his hands roaming her sides, Nina couldn't wait til Ruben got his heated palms on more of her. They were already rocking back & forth onto each other at this point. She needed to get this skirt off. But as she reached for the back zipper, his hands stopped her again. She blinked an eye open.  
"Uh-uh.  ** _Mine_** ," Ruben grabbed her ass through the leather & squeezed hard.  _Well, damn._  
" _Yours_ ," she concurred. Her steamy breath, hot against his ear. " _If_  you can reach the master bedroom," her legs hugged him closer, crushing any space left between their pelvises.  
"Is that a challenge?" with a smirk & raised brow, he accepted. Ruben grasped the conjunction where her thighs & hips met. After lifting her he backed out of the restroom. Climbing the grand staircase backwards did prove to be a challenge. But he was capable. That was until the second her tongue flicked the lobe she'd been sucking on. His hand caught the railing.  
"Woman! Do you want us to break our necks?!" he seethed & continued to move. Nina looked at him lazily.  
"What was that? "Bite your neck?"" With a nip at his jugular, Ruben stumbled backwards at the sensation. Or rather, the realization he could feel such a sensation. His back collided with the mezzanine wall. Nina looked pleased with herself as she could feel him panting. She grinned like a Cheshire Cat.    
"That's it," Ruben bounced her against him before pushing her slim form onto his shoulder.  _O, wow._  Nina remarked his strength. She was not a challenge to carry but... but her pondering disappeared once she heard the click of the door to the master's bedroom.      
  
    Ruben threw his load onto the bed. She landed with a bounce then splayed her limbs for a second. Rolling about, she felt the softness of silk, wool & goose down. Just as her eyes thought. The sheets smelled familiar: they smelled of him. Her eyes watched as he rolled his shoulder, working out the kinks.  _I could've been heavier, you know._  She sat up.   
    They didn't bother closing the door behind them. There would be no one to watch, save for the darkness behind him. It framed around Ruben like a halo of shadows. The void almost swallowed him if not for the glow of the moon. It poured into the room from the windows, highlighting his ashen skin. His side of the chamber bathed in a shady blue. The aura gave great contrast to those grey eyes: a siren song for hers-- a gaze she could not retreat from. Moonlight danced on the rises & falls of his fused skin while half of his body remained drenched in penumbra.   
    In front of him, his woman. How she basked in the orange glow of candlelight: orange contrary to his ashy blue that matched her toes & the faded blue of the roses on her skin & garb. So clear & waiting & wanting. Little darkness defined her visage: she had enough of her own in the black of her slip, her skirt, her hair & her lust-glazed eyes.  
    For a second, they both stilled as if admiring an unfamiliar creature before them. Like if one of them blinked or got closer, the other would vanish. A mirage. A dream. But enough visual scrutiny.  
  
    His form sauntered forward. Passing by the thick, embellished footboard, his fingers skimmed the edge of the wood. Passing by, he briefly grabbed the pole. Their eyes followed one another in anticipation. He clambered onto the bed. Head low, eyes up: observing his patient prey. She wriggled backwards. But only a little. It's when his frame is hovering over hers does she extinguish the lamp beside her.  
    Partner figures silhouetted by bright moonlight. Her gentle touch on his scarred cheek. His hands on either side of her again & he's paying back for earlier on the steps. His tongue & mouth are harsh against her lobe. Soon her nails & fingertips find purchase in his neck & shoulder, feeling the steam arise off his skin. Now, he's loudly lapping & slurping at her pulse. His hands find her hips at last & trace the seam to the zipper. Her head backs away for a second. And her gaze lowered to his charred mouth. Her kiss-bruised lips connect with his as he unzips the skirt & throws it away. The chemise under him is embroidered satin & lace. But they compare nothing to the silk & warmth of her flesh-- the hands that slid down from his collarbone to explore hist chest & arms. Broken & scorched skin, feeling something for the first time it hadn't felt in close to a decade. The fire off of his scars is addictive & she wants more. Before she realizes, her hands are above his waistband. But first, he must remove his shirt that's still on her shoulders. The strap of the chemise droops down but they pay it no mind. They're too busy with him twisting the shirt into a rope. Soon her hands are bound to one of the bedposts. A quick tug on her ankles & she's lying down flat. The chemise rolled to her ribs left nothing behind but a damp pair of boyshorts.  
"The... the straps," she managed. "Unhook..."  
    He gets the idea. She was right: Ruben freed the shoestring straps of their seams. One pull from below & the cloth runs over her curves, only to join the rest of her articles into nowhere. Her nipples hardened instantaneously in the bedroom's cool night air. Sliding his hands along her ribs, the pads of his thumbs grazed the bumps of skin. Almost as if observing her. But they soon glide down & catch the garter of her panties. Thus, he dragged them away to oblivion. Ruben crawled closer until  his knees were on either side of her throat. Nina knew what she had to do.  
"If you can undress me with those eyes..." he echoed but did not continue. The crotch was already undone. Not much work left. Right above where his cock would be, Nina's tongue ran along the boxer's fly seam. Folding her lips over her teeth, she rubbed & ground the clothed length. Once his breathing hitched & a hand grasped her scalp, she decided it's time. Her teeth peeled off the hem & his erection sprang free. She first nuzzled his crotch. Kissing a trail down his navel then dragging her mouth to the base. From the base does she lag her tongue against his length before puckering around the head. Licking the slit, she groaned. His hand massaged her roots. She pushed farther, occasionally bobbing up & down.  He was close to hitting the back of her throat & she was close to swallowing up to the hilt. Nina hollowed her cheeks as she sucked while her tongue massaged his shaft. Teeth constantly scraping but ever so lightly. Breathing through the nose, she refrained from gagging. He pulsed & leaked heat into her mouth. And she felt every twitch, every vein that passed her lips. Ruben had to grip the headboard. It was him in control, damnit. Not her. Though the stamina of her jaw is admirable. Once she could taste a steady trickle of his salty arousal, he withdrew. Ruben wiped the sweat off his face. He looked down at his mate, still between his legs. She languidly licked around her mouth & stifled a giggle.  
"Mhm... salty." That little minx. He slithered down her frame & pecked away the residue at the corners of her lazy smile. Then he licked his own mouth.  
"Salty," he nodded. And kissed some more. One set of fingers tangled into her hair. Nails raked at her roots. While the other set ghosted over her clavicle, her chest, her breast, sliding further down. And soon, the rest of him followed. His cock & balls caressed downward against her curves. His mouth to her lower lip, then jaw, neck, etcetera. Nina could feel all of him: the fire, the passion, the need & the sadism to drag this on for as long as possible. His mouth decided to stop at the shallow valley of her small mounds. His eyes rolled to her. Once she peeked her eyes open, he began his way to her left breast. His other hand freed itself of the vacuum of her locks & dragged down to parallel his mouth. Ruben opened his burnt lips & puckered around the small bud, licking its top. Meanwhile, his hand kneaded & played with the other, rolling & rubbing around the areola. Nina swallowed but mewls & desperate sighs still escaped her. She writhed in bondage. And cursed why couldn't she hold him. Her toes curled lily white. And every suck & groan & pinch sent a shockwave through her. The need between her legs grew.  _Cheeky fucker. How long is he gonna drag this on?_  Everything about this man burned & hurt so good. God, did she love him...  _most_  of him... Even through the euphoric haze, his slacks were getting on her nerves.  _Just take it off already. Your dick's already ou-- Oh glory!_  Ruben sucked after biting. Involuntarily, her body arched. His left hand reached to grab a chunk of her ass. Nina wriggled, feeling friction from the rope burns & his body on top of hers. Damn. If she can't undress the last of his clothes with neither teeth nor hands... Her legs tried to kick.  _Damn, Ruben. Slide down!_    
    It would be awhile til he did. The hand on her backside began to slide upward. Its thumb circled round the bone of her hip. Her legs continued to tread air. And it's when he's dipping his tongue & sliding it along her navel does he realize that some of her squirming wasn't caused by arousal. By now, his midriff was in range. She managed to catch a belt loop with her toe. He stilled for a second.  
"Go ahead. Get them off me if you can. I won't budge until you do." She struggled further as he suspended himself over her: legs still fully covered except for his exposed genitals. Her toes tried to push but the fabric kept snagging on his skin.  
"I like watching you," he smiled sinisterly, ever the critical predator. "I like listening to you moan my name. Saying it in between those grunts like a filthy little tart in the throes of orgasm. I like to watch you run-- but run like I'd kill you if I caught you. I like seeing you cry through your frustration. How does it feel, Nina?... Oh, my Nina..." he growled, about to stroke her hairline. Her eyes broke away from his pants temporarily. Expectantly. Only for his hand to land on the pillow next to her. His face was close-- but no close enough-- to hers. "To weep? To bawl about things you can't do," he chuckled. He looked over at his still clothed hips & her trying toes, "Over things you can't have? Your hurt looks so good on you... However. You caught me in a conundrum, you little witch. I don't know what's better: watching you run? Seeing you in pain? Or seeing you face it? Despite knowing how much it hurts? You put on the best show..." Finally, he put his cheek next to hers. His mouth close to her ear. His knuckle stroked her other cheek.  _My God._  Nina leaned to the kiss on her cheek.  _He is **so**  touched in the head._  
"Surprise... surprise, you not knowing something..." her exhale was soft but ragged. "Ruben?"  
"Mh?" his nose breathed against her cheek.  
"I'm out of one-liners... and you're out of pants," her toes pushed from hip to hip.  
    She'd finally gotten his slacks to lower. Her smile was soft but triumphant. Ruben raised his head at the cloth puddled at his knees. Then back at his lover.  
"Well done, Nina," he pecked the corner of her mouth.  
"About time, too," the ball of her foot ground against his crotch. Her blue toenails tickling the base of his shaft.  _Come on, Ruben. How long can we go on like this?_ Toes curled to scratch the base of his penis & scrotum. Ruben smiled to himself.  
"See what I mean?" Again, he grabbed her hair. Floating above her just out of a kiss' reach. "So proud... stubborn..." his other hand glazed around her hip. "And a tease." Nina yelped. His thumb nail pierced her hip bone. She bit her lip at the pain.  
"Why did you run? You wanted me. You  _had_  me. So why leave your childhood boyfriend, Nina?" A demand disguised as a calm inquiry betrayed by the sharp tug at her skull. She couldn't help but sputter a chuckle. "Tell me," another pull. His voice was colorless but entailed authority. Dominance.  
"Like I'm gonna let your proud ass get satisfaction that easily. I'm already yours, Ruben. But not yet. Not quite. Why not put up a fight?"  
"Uh-huh. Cunning little minx," Ruben clicked his tongue. His hand slid from her head to her neck, "But you're not the only one who's a tease."  
    Suddenly, a finger entered Nina's pussy. Only one. Her face twisted in a silent scream. It thrusted shallowly & would occasionally curl & brush against her clit. Nina was in limbo between dissatisfaction & spine shivers. Her muscles could clench around it.  But she didn't feel filled. She grimaced.  
"How do you like it?" Ruben swirled around before pulling all out & entering again.  
"It's not enough," Nina's plea was between a whine, a sigh & a cuss. "You know what I want,  _Ruben_." It's that nagging tone again. He sneered.  
"What  _do_  you want, Nina?"   
"You, damnit."  
"Change your tone," his grasp of her trachea tightened.  
"You," she whispered softer as he raised a brow. His finger remained inside. Nina swallowed, "I...I want your cock,  _please_. Ruben." She batted her lashes. Made her voice needy, "Pretty, pretty please? My darling, my starlight, my--"  
"Okay. Don't overdo it." He removed the appendage.  
    He, at long last positioned himself between her legs. With both hands he gripped her hips. A deep breath. A thrust. Nina arched with a delicious groan. Her slick-drenched walls massaged his length so good. And soon he began to piston into her. Several slow pushes in  & out. Then he began to transition faster. Harder.  
"Good girl," he groaned through grit teeth. "So tight around my dick."  
"Mhm! And... warm &... keep go... don't. Don't stop. Please..." her panting sputtered. "Ah! Ruben, yes!" At her babbling request, he clawed at her thighs again & dragged her closer. Again, he's trapped by her legs. Wrapped in a knot he could not sever nor want to. He's filled every space of her crevasse & she's buried herself to the hilt. They push & pull into on another, mirroring the make-out sessions from hours ago. The lovers' dance graced by divine friction. Raw. Sensual. And unrelenting.  
    The mansion filled with the sounds of their lovemaking. And no one else was their to hear it. Hell, they themselves could barely hear their own cries. Heads swimming with endorphins.  
    Soon enough, a familiar coil at the base of their bellies began to manifest. Tighter & tighter it wound with every thrust & moan. The fire within, stoking, ever growing.   
    There are countless varieties of pain. Many are sharp & sudden. Like a pinprick. Or impalement. Or blunt force trauma. Arousal's agony does not cut like a knife. It is a dull saw that gnaws deliciously at you, back & forth, until you break under it. And the two of them were both showing signs of breakage.   
    Ruben pulled out in his entirety then crashed back in one forceful push at a most satisfying angle. She had been thoroughly pleasured & Nina came first. A wash of ecstasy slammed over her. Sweat glistened on her skin. Face framed by sticky hair. Not long after, Ruben followed. His hot, thick seed coated her inner walls: white & heated like his skin & scars. He joined her chorus of panting. They slowed into stillness, lingering in their highs.  
    He took his place beside her. Her arms could strain no longer.  
"Ru... arms... shirt..." he flashed her a roguish smile. She replied with a squinted, deadpan gaze. "Ru..." It took one nagging syllable before he shook off the suggestion of leaving her in that position for the duration of the evening. His spent hands reached to untie what he knotted. Nina's arms fell with a plop. Pinks & red decorated around her tattoo. However, she managed to get her arms around his neck & her head on his chest. Even though cooled by sweat, the scars remained to burn: a fervent fire storm against her cheek. She kissed close to his nipple & sighed. Dark, messy hair like the pools of night scattered across his shoulders. Their breaths started to even. Heartbeats almost syncing. The moon was their only witness as they soaked in the afterglow. Ruben folded his forearm behind his head. The other hand rested on the small of her back. His fingertips felt like droplets of lava amid the stale air.  
    Eventually, Nina freed a hand. Her fingers traced the shell of an ear she's constantly mocked many times over. Her thumb could finally caress his scorched lips. Blackened fingers delicately held her hand to lay a kiss into her palm. That hand slid down to caress the side of his throat & the expansive burn over it, following through to his chest. If she didn't know better, she'd claim he was a djinn or fire itself made manifest or some other elemental. But she did know better. This was no ghost, no demon. This was her friend, her mate. Her Ruben. And she could hold him now & linger in his embrace. After all those years. After such an intense mating ritual. He was hers & she finally has him in her arms.  
    It's dead quiet. Even their breathing & heartbeats have slowed & calmed into equilibrium. Ruben stared at the ceiling. Nina was a childhood friend. And all her terror & anxiety was scrumptious, sure. But he was also sure she was useless to his cause... So why did he want to possess her? Why did he want to have her every night or whenever he wanted to fuck something until raw & spent? Who did this midget think she was & what kind of power did she think she had over him? Knowing Nina, there was no way he could introduce her to the real nature of his work. There was no way to have both this woman & his research. Her coarse, post-sex voice shattered his inner monologue.  
"Isn't this a little weird? Fucking in you parents' bed?"  
"They have been gone forever. When & where they are right now, I don't know--"  
"And I don't care."  
    And with a peck, Nina turned on her side. Ruben's frame engulfed her from behind. His member nestled against her ass. Past her drenched strands, his mouth & nose rested on her nape. The two tangled their limbs into one another's. The drowsy spell of sleep began to call. And both Nina & Ruben answered. 

* * *

   Sunlight began to peak through the overcast heavens. It's light filtered into their bedroom through the windows & floating motes of dust. Bird songs could be heard chirping outside. Ruben's back was to the bed. Half of him already dressed as he coiled fresh bandages around his bare hand.  
"Ugh, it smells like a hospice," Nina sniffed the shirt sleeve. Her lungs burned with the faint scent of bleach, alcohol & medicine. She lay blissed on the mattress, comforter rolled to her waist. One arm folded behind her head. The faded dark blue roses of her chemise peeked through Ruben's shirt.  
"That's not what you said last night," Ruben fastened the bandage end. Expectantly, he laid an arm out on the bed. "If you don't like it, give it back."  
    Nina turned over in the bed. Her eye peeked out from the pillow & bushy mess of her hair.  
"No!" Ruben clicked his tongue. His hands on his hips.  
"When do you plan on washing that, anyway?"  
"Whenever you & I are gonna share a bath," Nina giggled. Ruben perched a knee on the comforter, avoiding his loafer from touching the linen. He dove in to tickle her nape. She flinched.  
"Feel free to join me when you stop being an obnoxious brat."  
"Tsk. I'll join you when you've stopped being an egotistic chump... or have gotten more sleep." Grasping her hair, he pulled her face of the bedding.  
"Aray, aray, aray..." Nina's face crumpled into itself.  
"You're so aggravating, I swear," he rolled her underneath him before claiming her mouth.  
    After the lip lock, Ruben got a clean shirt from the wardrobe: one unaffected by last night's romp. They smiled at each other before he closed the door behind him.  _I hate to see him go but I love to watch him leave._  Nina was between sitting up & lying down, arm folded again behind her. She thumbed her mouth, relishing the warmth he's left behind. A sideways glance & she's caught herself in the window. The indigo-violet bloom of hickeys & the red of mating evidence brought color to the monochrome of her motif. Blues to compliment her tattoo, her slip, her toes. The off-white of his shirt matched the off-white of her bandages. The red of her bloodstains with the red on her skin. She admired herself bearing his marks. She splayed her arms on the bed & breathed happily.   
    But a thought occurred to her: Did he... just get a shirt from the closet? Why would... Nina shook away the thought before rolling onto her side, not facing the sunlight nor her reflection. Her folded hands tucked under the pillow. His side was still warm. The smell of her beloved pushed away any other intruding thoughts & reeled in desire for more sleep. Coupled with midmorning laziness & a haze of contentment, Nina let her eyelids fall.  _Idlip_ _pa_ _muna ako._

* * *

  
  
    Once Nina's eyes fluttered open, the first blur she saw was the nightstand. Ruben's spot had gone cold. After a yawn  & a stretch, she blinked her eyes into focus. Sitting up, she began to comb through her hair with her fingers. Nina pulled her phalanges away from her locks. A strand floated to the carpet. Not wanting to be rude, post-lovemaking, Nina got up to retrieve it. But as she bent down, she saw several pairs of dress shoes under the bed. They were Ruben's size. Not Ernesto's. Nina straightened herself. Nightstand: Ruben's notebooks. Bureau: Ruben's journals. Wardrobe: all of it, his clothes.  _Maybe they gave him their room? But... Wait. Only Old Man Victoriano & I knew Ruben was still alive... Tita Beatriz! _She studied her surroundings-- nothing feminine whatsoever. Like no evidence a woman ever lived in the bedchamber to begin with.   
    Nina waltzed to the bookcase. Freud. Neuroscience. Psychoanalysis. Anatomy of the nervous system. These were all Ruben's. Nina's fingers skimmed over everything: two shelves at a time. Eyes tried to keep up. Until a particularly beat up text spine caught her finger. It had no title. She tried to yank it out but it only fell forward with a click. The sound of stone grinding made her step back. The clean fire place's back wall retreated & slid into the side. Nina curiously looked in.   
    Light had been left on from the other side. It took one step to be cursed by intrigue. She felt the cold of disuse on her bare feet. Her bent form stepped further & further. But before she could totally enter the space, she could already see the desk inside: lamps, files & a cross section of a human head. An  _actual_  human head. From a cadaver. Or so she thought til its eye blinked & its mouth twitched. Nina ran.  
    She ran away from the specimen that began to grunt unintelligible sounds. She ran away from the bedroom where they had fucked just last night. She ran not because she was afraid. But because she wanted answers. She ran to the mezzanine above the foyer & once more, she called his name. 

* * *

  
  
    It's different now. Neither nagging nor needy. But authoritative with a twang of anger.  
"Ruben!" There it was again. Calling to him from the banging & flailing of doors. "Ruben!" her voice, clearer, closer. As if getting more pissed as the seconds grew. Blam! The basement's trap door to his hidden lab sounded like it was violently thrown open. "Ruben!" he continued his work. Even as he heard her whisper "Oh my God," & taking a step back. If he had to guess, she'd have that deer-in-headlights look as she's clasping her hands over her mouth again. He looked over his shoulder. He was right.  _So predictable._ He swirled in his chair to face her.  
    But she's not facing him. She's lowering her hands. Mouth now agape at the subterranean lighthouse surrounded by tubs of seizing bodies. Bodies bearing the seal of Beacon Mental Hospital.  
"You... this... what have you done?"  
Ruben lifted his arms only to drop & cross them. Her eyes finally pull away to look at him longingly. Searchingly.  
    Usually, when Ruben dissected dead patients, he'd bring the corpse to one of the lower complex's operating rooms. But he wanted to see the immediate effects on a freshly unplugged subject who died in STEM. The corpse now lay on a metal table. On one side a smaller table for yet unused instruments. Their used siblings opposite them.  
    Nina's jaw began to grind. Tears of fury began to well. Everything around her was a desecration of human life.  
"How could you?" Disappointment & hurt spilled into her being. The intelligent man she's been in love with for so long had survived. But his humanity had long since died.  
"How could I not? I told you these insects would be of use."  
"They're human beings, Ruben. They were somebody to someone."  
"And they're subjects to ground breaking research."  
"Inhumane research that you can never apply. Science without ethics strip it of its humanity. Science without humanity is--"  
"Still science," he stood, walking over to her.  
"Oh God," Nina held her head.  
"No Gods here. Only us."  
"That's not true."  
"If there was a God, why did he let Laura burn?"  
"That's not fair, Ruben," she glared tearily at him, jaw clenching.  
"Then what is--" he held his hips.  
"Certainly not this!" her arm panned to the writhing bodies in the tubs. "You  _know_  there are some things science has yet to explain."   
"And I'm desperately trying to."  
"Through murder & torture?! For Chrissake, Ruben! Psychology deals with the soul: the being! The worth! The character of a person almost as much as the mind itself & that domain should never be approached with the arrogance that everything else is below you!"  
"Remember that church my parents belonged to? They sure did--"  
"And you saw what it did to its followers-- what fanaticism does to people! Whether to science, religion... Ruben! Humans... feel... think--"  
"Oh, I know."  
"What do you mean you know? They're--"  
"Conscious." Nina did a double take. Her eyes wide with secondhand terror. "I developed an anaesthesia wherein the subject remains conscious throughout the procedure. It's proven quite--"  
Nina looked around her.  
"Holy fuck!" She ran to the tubs. Bare feet splashing around filthy water. Ruben watched her frantic escapade from tub to tub, looking around how to stop the machine. She found a cord jutting from the hairline at the base of the neck. She stared at screaming patient. The woman was in the throes of agony & distress.  
"What happens to the consciousness when unplugged in the middle of this?!"  
"Why don't you find out?"  
  
    She didn't see when he was behind her. When she turned around, all she could see now was the orbitoclast jutting out of her chest. Nina slowly stood up straight. She retracted her trembling hand around the needle. But she did not extract it. Her eyes darted to the table of tools. The space beside the round metal mallet was empty. Ruben grabbed the collar of his shirt from behind her. And in one graceful tug, it's off her frame. She stumbled around, dizzy. Chest compressing. Her torn heart struggled to pump blood. Salty blood she could taste as it trickled down the corner of her mouth. Salty like her tears? Or salty like his sweat & taste & desire when he kissed that corner so many times over? The heartache was killing her. In every conceivable sense. Her world was in a tailspin. She tried striding for his belittling stare. But could not make another step forward. So she took a step back. And tripped & tumbled into the freshly evacuated tub, replacing the man on the table.  _So much for a hot bath._  
    Cloudy white liquid splashed around her. It engulfed her form. The white rivalled the black of her chemise, like his skin  & cum the night before. It was a dirty kind of white just like her bandages now were; Legs overhanging the edge of the vessel. Splashes of red from her chest & mouth dispersed into this liquid. Though thicker, they held no power over the chemical's volume. Blurriness vandalized her vision. She knew not what was colder: the water or the gaze of vicious starlight on her: the last thing she saw before succumbing to the night of unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Eros- Life Instincts according to Freud, deals with basic survival, pleasure, and reproduction. Also includes thirst, hunger, and pain avoidance.  
> -kai- Greek for "and"  
> -Thanatos- Death Instincts according to Freud, directed outward toward others & expressed as aggression and violence.  
> -"Aray"- Filipino, pronounced "a-rai" instead of "a-rey." "Ouch/ow."  
> -"Idlip pa muna ako"- Filipino, "Imma nap some more."  
> -Supplementary info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8uh9eIBGmE


	5. Interlude

     Ruben had to make quick work of her. Brain death could occur in ten minutes. He's had patients die in less than that. He took the cord's needle. And aimed for her spine.


	6. A Monologue, A Soliloquy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruben wonders if the experiment was a success.

    Ruben searched & searched for her. Inside & outside of his machine, he found not a trace. He persevered. But still, he found nothing. He knew her. Maybe she was hiding. Was that even possible? Hide inside STEM? Even though both the hardware & software were of his original invention, he had yet to explore every implication & application. Maybe... maybe she wanted him to chase her again...  
    But every empiric result rebutted any hope or hypothesis that her consciousness upload was successful. Zero brainwave activity. No sign that anything of Nina survived.   
  
    He punched his tape recorder with the experiment resulting in failure. He should bury her body soon.  


* * *

  
  
    The ground began to form under her feet. Fragments collating into a whole puzzle as pieces fit. Wards, huts, morgues, a church. A multitude of whispers in her ears. A dull din. Through them, particularly strong words or emotions would surface. Sometimes, they'd make themselves known to her. But their manifestation is as erratic as the schedule when she'd hear these voices. It still all felt like underwhelming noise. Over time, she grew accustomed to ignoring them.  
    Semblances of civilization she found. But all hollow shells. She once found a fellow vagabond & called to him. But as soon as he turned around, it became apparent he was no longer human.  
    Bright, ghostlike lights in place of eyes. Pulsating lesions like the bubonic plague on steroids. And strings of barbed wire tangled around at odd angles. It rushed for her. She tried to retreat but fell back on her butt. But before it got within a feet of her, amethyst stalagmites had impaled the zombie. Her birth stone. Why? How? She didn't stick around to find out.  
  
    With enough walking, she reached her house. Uninhabited: a husk like everything else. It was familiar. But what was she to feel? Relief? Peace?  
    Her dirty, bare feet padded through the mansion numbly. But it's not until she sees a snapshot does she lose it. Taking the photo frame, she bashed it against a table corner. Through the broken glass & frame she tore the photo apart. No damn was given over cuts or splinters because no flesh wound compared to her broken heart. And it's not until everything's in pieces does she fall to her knees & wails uncontrollably. She wept & wept til she felt she ran out of tears for the time being. When she stopped, her body lay crumpled close to fetal position. And finally, she lifted a corner fragment & examined it in the overcast light. The inconsolable crying did not lift the heaviness on her soul. But before her, time rewound & unwound around her fingers. Back & forth it went from ripped to whole. Even at she let go, it remained suspended in the air. Assembling & disassembling. She stepped back & stared at it like it was cursed. As if on command, the corner sparked blue flames. But that did not stop its cycle nor did the fires lick anything else.  
    It was a polaroid of their outing at the beach.  
  
    Ca. 1985  
    Fifteen-year-old Laura pointed the camera at herself. Nina was between her arms. Ruben merely glanced at them from behind Laura's shoulder. Laura pushed the shutter button.   
      
    Rosa O'Hara had just bought a cay off the Krimson City gulf. And it was an ideal day for a picnic on the beach.  
    Laura & Nina in their swimsuits splashed among the shallows. Ruben remained under a parasol, nose stuck in Jung's " _Flying Saucers : _ _A Modern Myth of Things Seen in the Sky_." While pondering on the effects of mass paranoia, a baby hermit crab skittered into view, past his toes. Young Ruben's curious eyes followed the arthropod. He shut the book  & waited. Waited til its ten little legs paused for respite. It took several bashes to crack the creature open. Once he lifted the book after the final smack, Ruben lay belly down, observing the guts mushed into the sand. He flicked away any obstructing bits of shell. His fingers poked & stroked the crustacean's intestines.  
    Then a squirt of water moistened the back of his head. He looked behind him where his sister & friend held water guns.  
  
    Why did she remember the part about the hermit crab? It wasn't her memory... She was playing with Laura at the time. It was... Ruben's... She got off the ground & looked around her house.  
    Again, she caught her reflection-- this time crystal clear in an actual, floor-to-ceiling mirror. After examining herself, tears hinted at falling. Never mind weeping seconds ago.  
      
    She was wrong: he was a monster, inside & out. Ruben. Ruben Victoriano. The very name sparked unquenchable fury into her system. That man made her want to commit first degree arson over all of his precious research. He made her love him & care for him only to spit in the face of her morals then take her life. Ang ultimong kalapastangan. He sentenced her into this prison of lost souls & defiled memories. It was a mockery of sentimental value, this place. This profane plane. What made her think she could coax a deadened heart to feel? The memoirs of a shared childhood & now intimacy?! Ha! She hated him. And desired him. And o God, why didn't she come back sooner? Why did she let him make her leave? No. No, wait no. He was long fucked in the head before the fire.   
  
    Her vengeful eyes gathered her bearings. Further exploration of the mansion alone made her realize what she could be capable of. Not just House O'Hara but this place... this entire plane of existence is now where she belonged to. This place was now her house. But it will never be a home. This machine: she would never call home. It tries to be what it reflects but it fails in her opinion. But this area that mimicked her family estate, she could make hers. It will do for her domain. She secluded herself to this location, to shape it in her image. And it is here where Nina began to acknowledge & listen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -"Ang ultimong kalapastangan"- Filipino for "the ultimate disrespect/blasphemy"


	7. White Noise, Blue Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two souls exiled in a machine reunite.

    Through the chasm of voices, Nina began to listen. Just listen & know what & who they belonged to before all of this. But no matter how hard she concentrated, she still couldn't see anything. She could imagine. But hearing what was left of these people was the only thing she could do so far. Eventually, she was able to isolate every other tone & know their story.  
    To her, women stuck out the most. All the heartaches & desperation, depression, the struggle to provide & fight for survival... Nina understood or related to these & more.   
    When she wasn't listening, she was shaping her domain. She wasn't omnipotent in STEM. But she grew to be strong, holding onto her identity, history & rage-- emotions she felt help retain who she was while others got lost within this device. She couldn't control the places & things that flowed into STEM. But she could conjure to some degree. And when she wasn't shaping, she was practicing.    
  
    But one day, as she meditated on the story of a single mother who had a depressive episode in the office, the ceiling began to crack. The earth rumbled something fierce & Nina rushed out of the manor. All around her, chunks of rock & ground fragmented. Tangible memories floating & collapsing. Edifices & windows of facades began to splinter. Suddenly, flames flashed around her. This fire didn't belong to her-- hers was blue. White noise rang loud & clear.  
    Then suddenly, almost as quick as the appearance of the flames, darkness. Darkness except for a flashing beam of light in the horizon. The ground felt wet-- an expanse of shallow water that bordered on forever. Like everything but her was sucked into that blinking singularity. Blink in the sense a light house flashed. Then a ripple hit through the whole of this synthetic world. Everything that ever was in STEM came crashing back down. Tinnitus was replaced with the screech of car alarms & the breaking of objects succumbing to gravity. A few more ripples pulsed through... then everything just stopped. Like a switch.  
"What the fuck was that about?" Nina raised an eyebrow & made like Vincent Vega from " _Pulp Fiction_ " looking around.  _Nothing? Okay then. Now back to your regularly scheduled program of... wait a minute._ "Where the fuck is my house?!"  
    Instead of her space surrounding her, cars piled up on the freeway. Road surrounded by highrises. Existence in STEM had resumed. But Nina was misplaced in the downtown area. Deciding to look around, she figured to hoof it back to her place.  


* * *

  
  
    Everything looked like a life-size replica of Krimson City. But decrepit: the crackhouse version of her former town. Also, zombies. Some explode, some wield chainsaws or guns. But when you live long enough in STEM & figure out how to bend your birthstone in this twisted fantasy, dispatching monsters is no challenge.   
    A lot of them could no longer talk. They were once human too & so was she. But guilt faded when knowledge dawned-- knowledge that there was no humanity left in them & killing them quickly & painlessly is an act of mercy. She would then try to open a hole, bury what was left, say a quick prayer then move on. Less sentiment, more of SOP, really. Out of respect for humanity in general & who they once were, she did it anyway. Nina truly hoped this place wasn't some twisted afterlife or eternal punishment. Did any holy text say anything about fighting the undead? She couldn't recall.    


* * *

  
  
    Up on a penthouse, Nina saw the familiar gleam of the lighthouse. Even in the distance, she could see the Victorian architecture resembling a church more than a hospice. Beacon Mental Hospital. Was it the center of STEM? How deep does this place run & why was BMH still functioning when everything else was kaput? Curiosity seeped into her system once more. And continuing her exploration, she targeted the asylum.      
  
    The way to & into the sanitarium was uneventful. A few occasional brain-hungry walking corpses but nothing out of the ordinary. But due to the volume & frequency of the encounters, she decided to forego her improvised rites. God will forgive. God will provide. God will allow rest to the deserving.  
    It wasn't until she was crossing the expansive courtyard bridging to another annex did she finally see something noteworthy. Opening the door, the scene before her stopped Nina in her tracks. Never has she witnessed two zombies confront each other. One hooded figure held a wriggling ex-officer by the scruff of his neck. Neither of them seemed to notice her. Hoodie guy had his back to Nina while Sheriff continued to struggle in his grip. Sheriff tried to chomp the arm strangling him. But Hoodie lays his hand over the former cop's head. Nina's eyes widened as Sheriff dissolved into clear water. She didn't mean her gasp to be so audible.  _Oh, shit. He heard me._ Hoodie's figure began to turn to her position, slowly-- slowly she had yet to see his face. But she doesn't need to to get in a combat stance, ready to summon spikes or flee if necessary. Nina stood her ground. Even if her soul was shaken by the view of starlight.  
    The area around them had grown more wrinkled: age, work & insomnia etched his features further. But little else has changed. Still the same expanse of angry, fused skin in patches. Still the same pale skin that rivalled moonlight. However, his sclera had reddened & yellowed over time. Tired but intense as ever. What else was new: a line of sutures above his right brow. What the hood didn't cover gave a peek at the brain inside. Her eyes watered.  
  
"Ruben?"  
"Nina?"  
      
    A deadpan, soulless gaze shifted into shock in an instant. His parted lips couldn't utter a word & no matter how big his eyes got, he could barely believe what-- who was in front of him. Ruddy wrinkles & bags surrounded her eyes as if she never stopped weeping. From them, a trail of pallidity stained her cheeks. A black brown trickle from the left corner of her mouth remained caked to her skin. Remained like the hole in her chest. Remained like she, in her eighteenth year, forever. What didn't remain was the warmth in her look. Olive skin long turned into a waxy, sallow complexion. Her long, translucent nails were like sanded fiberglass. And from the chest down, she looked like a drowned corpse. The bloom of hickeys had been replaced by the colors of putrefaction. Her swollen lower limbs were mottled with patches of blue, purple & green-grey. And coated with a layer of adipocere-- a black that matched the slip he killed her in.  
    It was ethereal, seeing her. She stood still but appeared to sway. Both her hair & chemise... "floating?" Like she was forever submerged in water. Her hazy appearance more apparent when she started walking towards his direction.  
  
    Nina's feet started working before her brain did. Knowledge of how much time's passed or lack thereof reminded her of how lonely she'd gotten. And how she missed him. And now, he was in front of her again. And he began his way for her, too. At this point, she didn't care if it was the real thing or a cognitive mirage. She broke into a sprint & the hooded figure did the same.  
"Ruben!"  
"Nina!"  
Her feet left the ground. At this point she cared only for her fist connecting with his jaw. The punch felt so solid, so real. As real as the thump & dash of Ruben tumbling back onto the tiled floor. She pinioned him between her legs. And was about to dish another blow. But the apparition caught her fist. His other hand massaged his chin.  
"That hurt."  
"Wait, what did you say?"  
"It... hurt."  
    Nina lowered her arms as Ruben's hands glazed upward of them, fingertips feeling sensation he hadn't felt in close to two decades. Nina had planned to postpone her powers, opting for the satisfaction of beating him with her bare hands-- something to feel while numb rage consumed her. But it appears this ghost too may have begun to feel for the first time in a long, long time. Dragging each digit at a snail's pace, his fingertips felt the fire of her flesh leaking into her clothes. Nerve endings he thought were singed off ages ago, functioning again. Though her anger seemed to dissolve, the heat stayed as his hands caressed her sides. Both of them in shock with Nina on the verge of crying. She dashed some tears away with her forearm.  
"Can you feel this?!" She grasped his hand, taking it to her cheek. Ruben's cracked lips widened as he gave her a silent nod. Her bitter tears trickled over his parched skin. "And this?!" The back of her hand collided with his face. "And this, & this & this?!" a trifecta of slaps greeted his cheeks as he tried to catch her wrist, squirming from under her. He dragged her down but she caught herself with her palms against the tiles. "And this?!" Nina peppered kisses across his face, salty tears crying with the pecks. And Ruben felt it all: the stinging, the softness, the moisture. Her hands & tears flowing onto his chest as she bawled.  


* * *

  
  
""Ruvik." The moniker they've christened me with in this accursed form: imprisoned in my own creation."  
"I hope you're happy, Perillos."   
  
    A probed glass globe at the center surrounded by empty tubs. Both Nina O'Hara & Ruben Victoriano looked down at the glass floor with a mix of apathy & disdain. The machine below powered Beacon's lighthouse which flashed overhead.  
  
"You didn't believe in karma back then."  
"And I never will. My destiny is shaped by my own causation."  
"Was your brain getting scooped from your skull while you were awake your own causation?"  
"I destroyed my parents. MOBIUS' fates will be no different. They don't know who & what they're dealing with."  
"Tita Beatriz deserved better. Ate Laura, too."  
"Don't you dare bring Laura into this. STEM was originally made for her-- a way inward to the past. And MOBIUS perverted its purpose."  
"Hm... Speaking of Laura, do you remember when we first met?"  
"You had me under your legs back then as well."  
"Ha... Yeah," they shared brief, dry smiles.  
"But maybe," he turned to her. She didn't back down, eyeing his form, top to bottom. Nina laid her hands on his bare chest as he pressed further. Her leg hooked on his hip as he grasped its underside. His other hand held her waist. "I'll believe in karma just this once."  
"You wanna talk karma," her eyes lowered to his lips. "You should talk about your patients. Wanna talk about pain? Try heartache & torture. How did it feel, doc?" she clicked her tongue. "Being the guinea pig in the experiment?" Her arm coiled around his neck. Her body declared  _take me_. But her eyes  & voice were all about sass & condescension.  _You got what you deserved but you deserved worse_ , was their nonverbal proclamation.   
"Know your place. You were an experiment, too." She slid against him & let go. He clutched her hand as she spun out then spun back to him against his frame.  
"Do you remember those stupid ballroom lessons our parents made us take?" A vision passed by her. Blonde hair, a classy dress, the clack of heels, a big band playing jazz...  
"Those ludicrous steps?"  
"Mhm. Yeah. "Ludicrous."" Their hands on her waist & the other pair outstretched. Bodies parallel against each other. Their footwork began to match in silence.   
"Tell me. Why couldn't I find you?"  
" _You_  tell  _me_. You built this crazy thing. Why didn't I turn?"  _And why do I hear dead people? Do you hear dead people?_  Nina was never going to ask. It was evident he couldn't see into her head like everybody else's. No more than she could his. But in case her hunch was wrong, she shut up on the matter. Last thing she'd want to do was betray the Haunted with an inkling of humanity left in them by making Ruben privy to info he shouldn't have access to. Info he'd exploit. Humanity he'd erase.  
"My hypothesis was that I was not the core yet. Your consciousness was uploaded to the very first prototype of STEM, parts they used to build this one. Being the first successful run of this test has its benefits. However, if I could control you like any other Haunted..." He smiled deviously at her, dipping her body.  
"Ruben, don't. You don't have to to make me do..." she rose. Their hands still intertwined. "Then again, you also didn't have to kill me."  
    She let go & turned her back on him. The vision disappeared. She waltzed over to the window overlooking the horizon. The sky was cloudy over the faux cityscape of Krimson City.  
"How long has it been?"   
  
Ca. mid 2010's  
    Absentmindedly, she circled the puncture mark on her chest.  
"How many have you killed Ruben? How many more have you hurt?"  
"As many as I needed. It's pointless to count. These vermin are but footnotes in my research."  
"Kant would disagree."  
"Does your incessant nagging ever satisfy you, woman?"  
"No more than your sins ever being justified."  
""Sins?""  _You & your primitive_... "I am the god of this world, Nina. Whatever faith you have left is pointless in the face of my will. Your "kindness," your concern shouldn't matter when the afterlife you've perceived is void. Your sympathy means nothing. You would have lived if you hadn't harboured so much empathy."  _Or curiosity, for that matter_. "It's too much-- for the undeserving, weak, for the microbes  & the--"  
"MOBIUS agents?"  
"Actually."  
"Mira."  
    Ruben took his spot beside her. At the hospital outskirts, a black Honda rolled up. Five suited personnel stepped out & drew their firearms. It takes a blink & he's known the story of their entire lives. As usual, nothing of note. Nobody worth keeping alive.   
"Remember when I said you shouldn't take anymore lives?" Her sidelong glance met his. "Them you can kill."  
"I didn't need your permission," a glitch & he's gone. She could see he's appeared by a spire outside. But a fresh murmur at the back of her mind made her change her decision in a split second.  


* * *

  
  
    Julio Marquez was pushing thirty. He, Junko Asada & the rest of their crew were to confirm sightings of this Ruvik guy & reign him in if possible. Tell him to quit killing subjects off then report back before dinner. They were serving bangers & mash at the cafeteria.  
    Desiree Hanson still couldn't believe the development of such technology. This rendering & driving on the way to Beacon from the insertion point, this all felt so real. But enough awe on how neat & uncanny this all was. They had their orders: find Ruvik.  
  
    They didn't need to. In a twinkling of an eye, he's in front of them before they could even approach the entrance monument. He had his arm raised. Guns pointed, team leader Benito Magsaysay was about to call out. But before anything else could happen, incense smoke floated from the central tower. Purposeful. Sentient. It set itself between them before undulating into a female teenager. Ruvik looked as curious as they did. She didn't look right: another aberrant Haunted?   
  
"What are you doing here, Nina?" Ruvik lowered his hand.  
"I changed my mind. Listen to me very closely, Ruben. What I'm about to do, I do for myself."  
   
    Doug Matherson grunted & began to double over. His knees buckled. Junko began to cough & so did Benito-- heaving. Harsh. Violent. As if their lungs had collapsed. Desiree mustered commands at the couple but could not hear her own words. She could only feel blood pouring out of her & her guts ripping themselves apart. The entire team began to crumble to their feet. Benito clawed at his tie, trying to rip it off. Junko shed her blazer & belt. Coughing turned into ripping hacking as they began to collectively vomit blood.  
    Soon enough, thorns & branches began exiting their mouths. At first, seedlings & thorns, blue petals were spat out. But soon, whole shrubs began to crawl out of their orifices. Tear, blood & snot watered the growing plants. The hacking had turned into muffled screams. Then joined by the sounds of jaws cracking open. Eventually, silence resumed & the bodies stopped flailing.  
    Nina decided she wanted to return now. Little white butterflies began flitting to the gorgeous blue rose bushes jutting from the mouths of corpses. She paid no mind as she walked past, lifting a finger for a butterfly's respite.     
"The kill steal is for you locking me in here.  _This_. Is for locking you in here  _with me_."  
    Alive, they might have been suppressed. But now, their visceral screaming blasted in her mind. Junko was engaged. Julio was supporting his little brother. These people had a voice, too. Voices Nina actively chose to ignore as she voyaged toward O'Hara manor, Ruben in tow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Perillos- inventor of the brazen bull. Was also tortured & killed in his own invention.  
> -See: Hoist by His Own Petard http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoistByHisOwnPetard  
> -"Mira"- Spanish for "look."


	8. Rival Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina gives Ruben a piece of her mind. She wants a piece of him. Or two. Or five.

   House O'Hara was a lot different in STEM from what Ruben recalled. The Art Nouveau industrial, glass & steel mansion now had corners of Hijazi & Moorish Revival architecture. Literally: corners of inlaid stone stuck out awkwardly among the structures of iron & glass. The metal skeleton was drenched in a black patina. Windows were bordered with arched panes. Violet light filtered through. Russian tapestries & mohair throws on supposedly tropical wicker furniture. Subdued Victorian hues clashed with oriental adornments & knickknacks. The walls decorated with various masks from over the globe. And by the side of a hallway: a photograph suspended in the air by its burning corner. It tore & pieced itself together over & over. The corner where the blue flames bloomed was where his eight-year-old self was.   
    Ruben had been asked to wait in the hallway. He didn't know why. Couldn't know why. Nina's strange case kept him from probing her mind. Why? The rotary phone on the hallway table beside him rang. It broke his speculation.  _Who... How?_  A few more persistent rings & he decided to pick it up. But before he could ask...  
"Okay, Nina. Try pronouncing this," the young voice from the other end made him grip the handset tighter. It was a voice not yet damaged by smoke inhalation. His.  
"Me-toe-shon-dria," a little girl's voice replied.  
"No, not like that! Sheesh, where did you learn to say stuff?"  
"Where did you learn how to teach, Ruby?" she giggled.  
"Augh. That's not... Whatever. It's "my-toe-KON-DREE-ya." Say it."  
"Mitochondria. Okay, now try this."  
"Perse-fown?"  
She snickered, "No, no! Per-seh-feh-KNEE."  
"Persephone?"  
"Yup! Goddess of--"  
  
"Hey!" Nina crept up from behind. Ruben hung the receiver. "Who was that?"  
"Us, I think." Nina shrugged.  
"Okay. Anyway, food's ready."  
  
    Inside the drawing room, rugs & cushions were laid out. It was like a portal into a Bedouin tent. Moroccan lanterns glowed overhead. A tea set & various snacks decorated a tray on a small table.   
"What is all this?" Ruben sneered at the arrangement. Nina walked past, no damns given.  
"Merienda."  
"We do not need to eat in STEM."  
"That doesn't mean we can't," she reclined onto the carpet. Her chemise creased at her hips. Her outstretched fingers beckoned. "Lay with me, Ruben."  
He did not take her hand. But only sat opposite her, legs folded. He glared at her semi-suspiciously. But decided to pour himself tea. From an ornate box, Nina pulled out a cigar. Biting it, her finger lit the the end. An azure spark ignited the tobacco. Ruben's eyes narrowed at her.  
"Extinguish that." She lazily glanced at him sideways before dragging deep. Taking the stogie in her fingers, she blew smoke at his face.   
"No." He was not amused.  
"Nina..." He gruffly warned but she could see him fidgeting in place. Even in here, the tragedy still left its mark. Sure he was watching, Nina took the cigar & faced the burning end to her eye. She doused the stogie in her socket then winked at Ruben. Ashes in her lashes fluttered away as her cornea began to heal in no time.   
"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he subtlely growled, still unamused by her antics.  
"Having tea & a puff. What's it look like? But I forgot what it is exactly why I brought you here," she scratched her head. Her claws tapped on the table. His eyes were in that perpetual sour stare. She met them as she took a sip. "Oh, wipe that paranoid look off of your face, will you? I'm trying to have merienda." She sliced a piece of strawberry shortcake. No answer. "You've been betrayed. You've been hurt. I for one, am not gonna stab you in the back. I mean, why should I? I did love you after all & kept returning & you only just STABBED ME IN THE HEART!" she plunged her fork into the pastry. "I mean no big deal, right?! What's another dead body to you?!" She waved the impaled dessert around before plunging it in her mouth. Ruben could sense it: electricity in the atmosphere. His fists began to clench. "I hope you're not still mad at me for... insulting your illustrious research & then stealing your kills. As for me..." her forearm swept through everything. "I'M FURIOUS!" Nina flipped the table aside.  
    Blue thorny vines gripped Ruben's limbs. They tethered his body to the floor. He wriggled trying to wrestle his ankles & wrists free. Brambles cut into his raw throat, tightening by the second.   
  
"Look at me!" she stood. "I'm a walking corpse! We both are!"  
"Alter your appearance then."  
"That doesn't make me any less dead, Ruben! You took my life & they took yours. I hope you're satisfied because now, we're roomies in this techno-psycho, godforsaken, zombie-ridden hell!" She stomped her foot as her voice echoed through the hall. For a second, House O'Hara seemed to shake. "Was it all worth it?! Becoming...  _this_ ," she held a hip, gesturing to all of him while looming over his compromising position. His lips curled into a cruel smile.  
"And look what you've become-- a killer just like me. I'm close to being proud," he chuckled.  
"I will never be like you--"  
"A vengeful entity inside STEM? Don't try denying it. Those people had lives outside of MOBIUS. I don't need to touch your mind to know that you know it. You're hypocrisy's delicious," he licked his lips spitefully at her.  
"Those people made the bed knowing who & what they worked for. And fancy you talking about hypocrisy! What would you know: someone as soulless & amoral as you!" she paced, eyes glued to the floor.  
"Are you truly that desperate to return to what we were? STEM's--"  
"Honestly, I don't know! We can never rewind the past but..." she softened, eyes searching the carpet. "The past is where Laura was... where I fell in love with you... My mistake!" she snapped at him with a baneful glare. "In here... I'm as close as a goddess as I'll ever be... all this power..." she stared at her palm where a small blue flame manifested.  
"Doesn't hold a candle to mine."  
"We'll see about that."  
    And with a stamp of her heel, Ruben's impaled through the gut with an amethyst stalagmite.  
"How's that for something to feel?" Sputtering blood, he broke off the tip. "For every wrong, for every life you've taken," she crossed her arms. Spindly protrusions from the main spire pierced his every nail. "For every person you've hurt!" Her hands struck the air. The crystal needles pulled apart from his skin. The main stalagmite slashed into sections, dragging bone & flesh. Ruben groaned out. Eyes rolling into his lids as his head lolled back. "And as for me..."  
    Nina didn't notice the trail of barbed wire slithering behind her. Blood staining his teeth, Ruben smiled as it coiled around her ankles. A grunt & she's on the rug. Her head & teeth bounced of the floor. The wires dragged her face across the carpet before suspending her from the ceiling. Metal barbs bit into her flesh as it wound tighter. Ruben walked underneath her dangling body, smirking upward. His gait unaffected by the various holes that had begun to shrink.  
"As always, you put on the best show, Nina. But who-- whatever you think you are doesn't compare to me."  
    She sneered & held her face, friction burn still fresh. Her view faded from the drawing room into an upside down bird's eye view of Krimson City. Blood rushed to her head. Internally & externally. It trickled down her gams as much as a supply came crashing into her cranium. Ruben was like an ant in her vision. But even with a ninety story distance, she could still make out the smug expression on his face. _That bastard_... Was her last thought before the vine of metal thorns tearing into her skin began to unwind.  
"Oh shit-- ah!" Tinnitus suffocated her hearing. But there was no time to think, to breathe. She was plummeting towards concrete. But once she learned to ignore the ringing, she focused on putting her arms before her as if in a swan dive.   
    Ploop! Her body disappeared into the rippling asphalt before it faded back into solid. Ruben rushed to the spot but the street remained hard under his feet.  _Where could she have gone, that witch?_  In terms of influencing STEM, she wasn't as powerful as he was-- she can't be! He knew that much. But to what degree was she capa-- something tapped his left shoulder-- no one. A tap on his right! Nothing!  
"Bah!" His hood was tugged down, obscuring his vision. A couple steps backwards & something behind his calves made him trip. He shed his hood. Glitching to a rooftop, Ruben looked below. There she was, emerging from the pool-like ground, looking around.   
    His lab was a more familiar terrain. Before Nina had realized, he sent a wave of orbitoclasts & needles flying in her direction. But she caught him in her periphery. A crystal wall in front of her caught the tools & she sent it forward to crush him between itself & the tiles. The monolith slammed against the wall. But a swarm of blood droplets leaked from the crevice & manifested in front of her. Gravity ceased while Ruben remained on the floor. Nina's midriff collided with the operating light before the rest of her hit the ceiling. Every free instrument started to aim for her. There was no way to manoeuvre. And with no form of traction, she couldn't even "swim" in the space. Transforming into a sash of smoke, she escaped through the double doors. Right before said instruments embedded themselves into the roof. The swarm of red pursued the plume of gray, tangling with her through the halls. Manifesting & glitching in & out of their default forms. Hair pulling, strangling, punching, kicking on the roof, the chandeliers, the tables... Insults & expletives were exchanged like "carajo" & "deranged, ignorant virago."  
    Once they were wrestling on the floor, Nina's thorns strangled his waist, adding more red to the collection of patches on his robe. They were no match for Ruben to sever. But they were enough for Nina to exit the music room.  
    Ruben roamed his home for her. In STEM, his stamina was unbridled by seizures & sickness. It seems she had not triggered any of the traps. It takes a trip to the library to find her just standing there. He approached from behind, willing to end her with a touch. But before he could strike the coup de grace...      
  
"You kept it," sentiment soaked her voice. She didn't even look at him. She only continued to stare at a corner table surrounded by failed scribbles pasted onto the wall. On the table was a framed picture of an impaled skull.  
"It was always a favorite," he stated matter-of-factly.  
"I didn't actually draw it."  
"I figured."  
"I got so frustrated on trying to draw a skull I just ended up buying a print instead," she mirthily exhaled.  
    Seven-year-old Nina knew her Ruben loved the macabre & anatomy. But after failing at sketching for the nth time, she decided to lie for his birthday present & gave him a framed print instead.  
"A tamping iron measuring one & one-fourth inches in diameter, three feet & seven inches long, weighing thirteen & one-fourth pounds entered the left cheek bone & exited through the frontal bone. Subject Phineas Gage survived," he recalled but stated as if he were recording one of his tapes.   
"For twelve years more but Gage was "no longer Gage.""  
"The iron passed by his left frontal lobe."  
"Heh. Maybe I should start poking around your head with a rod if it'll change your personality," her finger stroked down his suture, ending at his lips. "You manky piece of work..." Ruben took her hand, kissing it then caressing her soft skin. "I didn't choose to love you, you know. I just did. But I can't change who you are. No more than us changing the past... I wanna go ho-- No... I'm gonna go back," her hand slipped from his. "Are you gonna zap me back or do I have to walk by myself?"  
"There's a storm coming."  
"What sto--"  
    Thunder crashed outside. She shot him a raised brow before striding to the window. Nina flung the panes open. Sure enough, it was pouring sheets. Complete with lightning.  
"Guess I'm walking, then," and with that, she vaulted outside.  
"What?" Ruben followed.  
    It was freezing & the water glued her hair to her skin. Mud wedged between her swollen toes but she didn't mind. To Nina, the rain felt like crying: release, a vent for stress. No matter how loud the thunder bellowed or how the wind threatened to fell trees on her, it was calming. Angry. Emotional. Cathartic. And despite the crack of thunder, the howl of gales, neither she nor her ex had to raise their voices within the torrent.   
"When was the last time you felt the rain on your skin?"  
"Not since the fire."  
"Now's a good time as any," she smiled sadly at him.  
    Ruben paused. Like he was calculating something. Then the storm softened. Thunder & lightning halted. Once again, he shed his hood & tilted to the weeping sky.   
    It cooled the fires of his burns. Like a salve over the fresh wounds they had inflicted on one another, most of which had already healed. It smelled clean, like pine & purity. Ruben closed his eyes. The strong set of his brow softened. His lips parted briefly but soon curled contentedly.  
    A sincere smile: one she hadn't seen since they were children... since Laura was still alive. Before the catastrophe in the barn. Nina's heart sank. She realized something: she was cursed. Cursed with a love for a man who may never love her the way she does him. Cursed to love an insane psychopath whose actions will never be justified nor forgiven. Cursed with a beloved whom she's doomed to spend the rest of eternity with but could never be together because of what she stands for. Cursed with the choice to continue loving him in spite of it all. Then sentenced into her current lot because of her decision. Maybe this was purgatory: afterlife in hell-- but not quite. What kind of penance did she need to do to grant liberation unto her soul? Did she even want to be free? But in the impermanent perfection of moments like this, she'd allow herself a fragile happiness. Her hand found his, fingers intertwining. She decided they were a fitting pair: a cursed, exiled goddess & her cruel, mad god.        
  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Merienda- afternoon snack  
> -Reference: "We Are The Night"- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1692504/?ref_=nv_sr_2  
> -specifically this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbTehjrjX5g  
> -Phineas Gage (1823- 1860): https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/phineas-gage-neurosciences-most-famous-patient-11390067/  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage


	9. Perfect Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes two to horizontal tango. Tango so good Nina gets an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Titles:  
> -"River Cleansing"  
> -"Inversion"/ "Inverted Baptism"/ "Baptism"  
> -"Exes with Benefits"  
> Hooo my god I never thought I'd be so divided over a chapter title. That was until I was singing to Lorde.

" _Trying to find these perfect places  
What the fuck are perfect places anyway?_ " -" _Perfect Places_ ", Lorde  
  
    By the time they reached House O'Hara, he'd stopped the rain. On the way, they talked about the phone call & the hermit crab, about Laura, what transpired "that" evening... like it was back when they reunited in '95. Casual, relaxed.  
  
    Then they reached the lake surrounding Nina's domain. Her petite hand slipped from his fingers. She dove into the water then paddled outward. Over her shoulder, she saw he hadn't followed. Turning to him, she disrobed beneath the surface. But she made sure he got the message. She combed her drenched hair backwards. Ruben's robe dragged behind him on the surface as he waded into the shallows. Walking into the water, he swam for her.  
    The water chilled his bones but he ignored it to get closer to her. Naked & imperfect. Powerful, but actively choosing to be unshielded to him. At the back of his mind, he held some surprise for himself: since when did he want her without the distress? He still wanted to possess her, yes. An ego boost to tame her now that she's grown dangerous. But...   
    He got to her. And too, did he strip in front of her. Now what? Still no physical contact. She started to paddle away from him. And he followed. Around the perimeter of her estate they went. Soundlessly.   
    From afar, her domain was reminiscent of a Victorian greenhouse. Her property of course, was dotted by the occasional blue rose bush or vine. And the lake seemed to stretch endlessly. At the neverending horizon, the navy waters met the stretch of oranges. Her sky held a sun perpetually setting if not forever rising. He couldn't tell. Amid the grays of Krimson City, the O'Hara estate bled color. Beauty in the face of havoc & desertion. Visual rebellion against the rest of STEM. Her versus him.  
  
    Ruben could crush her creation with the raise of a hand. Or cave it in slow just to make her watch. But as much as he loved seeing her enraged, he had no use of her domain's destruction. Not yet, anyway.   
  
    As they skimmed the surface, still no word was uttered. No touch was felt. But after exploring for awhile, Nina broke into a backstroke. Breasts in full view.  _Still such a tease after all these years._  But just as she neared & threatened to cop a feel, she folded into the water. And turned to dive. Ruben submerged & followed.  
    The depths held no life. But its great vastness reminded one of the void of space. Zero gravity. Mighty columns & awesome structures beneath the monotony of the surface. Valleys that might have held secrets in their recesses as well as darkness. Did she intentionally shape these or were they residual memories from her travels? Underwater volcanoes from the depths of the sea formed in a row. Nina beckoned him to pass through the geysers as she did. Paranoia surged in his body until he saw her eyes roll. She tugged her head, signalling him to follow. His expression must have been obvious. But he swam through anyway. It was like an all encompassing hot compress. Warmth in the most pleasing form that banished the chill of earlier. She wore a satisfied, sly smile as he lingered in the heat of the last plume, floating on his back to feel the heat.    
    By all means, the pressure of these depths should have crushed their skulls. But no. The fresh water also refused to enter the holes of the clear prosthesis on the side of Ruben's crown. Strange physics down here, he supposed. Behavior tailored by Nina. What she could have done was enrich the water with oxygen to make it breathable. Not that she'd know.   
    Right at the depth of where their vision began to impair from the lack of light, Nina swam to a rocky overhang. Going underneath, her hands searched for something. She waved for him to get closer. Once beside her, she guided his hand & led it inside-- an air pocket. Nina pointed upwards then stuck her head in the overhang's hole. He followed & they both gasped for air. In the pitch black darkness.  
  
    Ruben could hear her splashing around him & the echo of rocks being touched. He sensed she was no longer beside him. He swore if she left him to drown, she's going to-- a hand grasped his arm. His other hand felt for the shoal where she was reaching from. He could hoist himself onto it. Minding the stone from scratching his genitals.  
    When he was sure he bumped into Nina, he felt her back, her hair & hip. Then he heard the snap of fingers.   
    Branching like synapses through a neuron, the glow of crystals breathed life into the cave. The turquoise light cast around them, illuminating the system. Not since the advent of STEM had Ruben been in awe of the capabilities of his machine. But now, that eureka spark was reborn but brought forth by the brain of another. And there she was, looking at him over her shoulder. Her feet dipped in a pool. Tending to her dripping hair trickling water down her bare back.  
      
    All this was her flexing her power. Granted, she was not all-seeing & could only influence her immediate vicinity. Not that she was going to tell Ruben. Hell no. She loved the man but he was still a monster. Love didn't make her stupid nor blind. Eitherway, she had taken his invention & chose to create rather than destroy & enslave. Despite unable to help, she listened to her fellow inmates & tallied the remnants of their memories. Her consciousness, sentenced to this plane of existence, made the most of it. She still had anger & negativity soaked into her blood, sure. But she refused to let it be her main distinction. Nina chose to be a goddess in the machine.   
    And the more she flaunted her clout, the more he wanted to dominate her-- remind her she's here because of him. He sent her there. He created STEM. Who the true god of this world was. She knows this. Tell her before she's trapped him in her mouth & plugging the commands from coming out. Too late: Nina has her hand on his neck & they're leaning into each other, lips colliding. Molding & groaning & sighing against one another. Well if he can't tell her, he'd just have to show her.    
      
    Ruben slid his hands up her arms & clutched her shoulders. He rolled her onto his lap, her neck resting on his hardening member. Hair tickling his length ever so slightly. A hand of hers is on his chest again. With dreamy eyes, she looks up at starlight. Her bleached thumb brushing the corner of his charred smirk. His fingers folded gently over hers. But just as she think he's about to crush her lips with his again, he snaps his fingers. And the whole room goes black.

* * *

  
  
    They're still both sopping wet when they materialize on her bed. Writhing together like snakes in heat. With a wave of her fingers, the curtains are drawn right when he's chewing her throat out. It takes a snap to quench the indigo flames of her fireplace. His hips push into hers. Stiffening cock brushing against her thighs & entrance. Her head's tilted while holding his. Angling for the best possible contact. A soft little hand journeyed down with the intent to grip his shaft. But no, he won't have that. He's done with giving her free reign. Two burnt hands roughly pin hers to the pillows on either side of her head. _This again?!_  her glare seemed to say as he straddled her once more.   
"You're not gonna bind me with barbed wire, are you?" It's a suspicious look like that sans the nagging that makes his blood cascade downward. He smirk deepened as he gripped her chin.  
"Relax."  _Or don't. I'd rather you don't._  "I could. I ** _should._**  I would have done that by now. But no. I don't need to," a pull at her hair & he's captured her mouth again.  _Because when I take you, I won't need to maximize force._ Her tongue was not going to rescind dominance. But damn, if he hadn't explored every lick, every wet nook of her warm cavern.  
    His other hand took a thigh. Darkened nails found purchase in her water-softened flesh & he grasps hard. Nina whimpered into his mouth as he grinned. A nip at his lip served as his only warning. Lifting her leg onto a shoulder, he aligned. Still wet from the swim, her pussy sheathed his cock easily but contained enough friction to satisfy the both of them.  _God, he always felt so good inside._ Soon enough, Ruben began to thrust. Her nails clawed at the bedsheets, one hand flying to rake her scalp. Her eyes rolled into her lids at the sensation of him pumping into her. One particularly rough thrust has her arching her back, releasing a vulgar moan from the mouth he was glued to just a second ago. Their feverish tempers returning to their bodies. His hand in her hair let go & claimed a breast. She found herself leaning into his touch, liking the heat from his hands enveloping her nipple. His clutch is so coarse. So sloppy. And carnal. So...  _good_. A couple more pushes  & pulls, in & out & the familiar feeling's gearing for a build up.   
    Then he pulled out. In all his entirety. Cold air entered her vagina & Nina whined at feeling hollow. But before she could snark, a grip on her waist flips her over.  
    Before she knew it, her tush is in the air & her frame's supported by her elbows. One quick thrust in & he's decking a new area with his cock. Through pants, Nina wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. But an extremely satisfactory pump has her raising body for a second-- a cross between a stretch, a moan & the chance to buck against his lap. On her waist, her hand enclosed over his. She guided it upward to grab her breast once more. Ruben accepts, kneading the tender mound as their hips continued colliding. She leans onto him, riding his dick. Her head turned this way & that as he buried his face in her lake-soaked hair.  
    Ruben grazed his nose against her trapezius. She smelled of water itself. And of the STEM chemical. Only hinting at the perfume she wore when he killed her. And he was trying desperately not to drown. To remain in control. Her other hand hung limply on his nape. He had to switch kissing between her neck, hand & wrist. If he wasn't nibbling her delicate fingers, he was sucking them off. Swirling his tongue around her phalanges.   
    Head leaning onto his shoulder as she bounced, her bare back rubbed against his chest. Ridges of heated scars brushing her skin back & forth. The overabundance of simulation was overwhelming. Like being ripped apart: unbearable in the best way. Karma for earlier's impalement. The path to orgasm being cleared. Nina struggled to breath.  
    The suffocation exacerbated when he pushed her back to her elbows. This time his body draped over hers. His penis pushing further into her canal. His scorched lips pecked her shoulder before sinking his teeth into it. God, it all felt so good. Screw heaven if this is what purgatory was. A needy moan elicited a response:  
"Remember who you belong to-- who's stronger than you-- who holds judgement over this world. I am your god, Nina O'Hara," he managed in between grunts, groans & rolling her nipple. She only but chuckled.  
"You think... you're so advanced... ha... But deep down, you're just another hungry beast... itching to display dominance..."  
Ruben's eyes darkened as she smirked over her shoulder. Both hands fiercely bit into her hips as he fully withdrew. Only to crash harshly back in.   
"Oh God!" Nina's face met the pillow before pushing back.  _I'm gonna be sore in the STEM equivalent of morning_...  _but he's just so_...  
"I'm right here," he replied to her blaspheming.  _So_... She was tempted to roll her eyes. "Oh, Nina..." But him growling her name in this position fucks any resistance or sarcasm away.  
    She could feel his quivering breath by her cheek  & ear. The rasp of his voice was enough to drive her over the edge. She was so close. They both were. It takes a little more pistoning til Ruben reached his climax. Some more shallow thrusts & Nina followed. The two of them were soaking: sweat, lakewater, cum. Enough moisture & heat to shame a pressure cooker. Ruben stayed inside til ecstasy gave way to exhaustion. Then he rolled off Nina. Nina's limbs gave way & she too went face-down & flushed as he. The softness of her mattress was welcome to the both of them. Simultaneously, they rolled to face the ceiling. But before Ruben could pull the blankets over them, Nina's hand signaled to stop. Same hand lifted lightly, palm up. All the excess liquids coating their bodies trickled upward in droplets. They pooled on the ceiling in scattered puddles, reflecting fragments of the couple. With a wave of her fingers, the moisture cloud evaporated. Leaving only a mist that floated down. She smiled at him as if her eyes said  _Magic!_  He doesn't need a nod to cover them.  
    Nina wriggled close to Ruben. Once she was a nose away, she lapped the entire right side of his face. Chin to the clear dome above his brain. She then kissed the line of sutures bordering the prosthetic skull. Lips landing where his brow met the top of his nose.  
"Payback," she purred. She smirked as he soberly wiped the slobber away, never breaking eye contact.  
    But soon enough, his gaze found the entry mark on her chest. During intercourse, his fingers managed to graze it a couple times. But it was hard to palpate then, what with him too busy pounding Nina from behind. Some pride dawned as his lips took to smirk. His arms wound around her waist as he planted a smooch on her death scar.  
"Mine," his successful experiment. His sultry little minx. His Nina.  
  
    Almost twenty years of cruelty, murder, fighting... She's learned more of him since then. Almost twenty years since he's fucked her last then murdered her. Sending more & more patients into the afterlife rather than preventing them from dying. So why's she back in his arms? Close to thirty years ago... she fell in love with Ruben Victoriano...  
  
    She knows she can't change him. She can't change the past. But with every innocent life he takes & tortures, she feels a piece of her die. Another crack in her already broken heart. To her, man was God's best creation: though fragile, capable of complex thought & powerful emotion. Though very flawed, humanity was capable of so much greatness. Ruben proved & insulted that school of thought at the same time. But how was she going to keep him from killing when back then, she couldn't even save a butterfly? Ruben needed to be sated. Sex alone won't cut it. He needed closure, maybe. Nobody knows or will ever know who burned the barn... But they know who dismembered him & put his brain in a jar...  
    Right when he's nuzzling into her cleavage, she spoke.  
"Hey, Ruben. Let's go on a date: you & me."  
"Mm...what are you on about, you senile harridan? Has STEM finally deteriorated your psyche or did I just literally fuck your brains out?"  
"Mph. Poetic words. And what "senile?" I'm only as old as you, you disfigured twat. Nah, I've been thinking-- remember when we were kids? I said I'd take you out, paint the town..."  
"What about it?" He grunted, eyes shut. Her chin rested on his bald head. Her finger traced his ear.  
"Well... I hear MOBIUS has all kindsa shades of red."   
    Nina had just snapped the scarred monster out of the afterglow. Ruben rolled his eyelids open, looking up at her as if she'd just asked if he wanted round two.  
"Care to mix more hues, my darling?" She's got that foxy grin. No, fox-like. Cunning gleamed in her eyes.  
"What did you have in mind?"  
"You got out of a basement. Think you can get out of STEM?"  
"I don't have a body."  
"Tsk. Neither do I... Guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there?"  
    And with that, Ruben hovered over her & locked lips, sinking into the covers.


	10. Butterfly Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back then, Nina couldn't save one butterfly. But she realized she'd set several others free.

    When Ruben awoke, sunshine glared in his face. Overbearingly warm & bright. Squinting, he raised his hand to shield himself from the rays... His pale... flawless-- he jolted, sitting up. His fingers roamed his face-- his smooth, unmarred face. Linear lips as soft as can be. The sparsest peach fuzz around his cheeks, plush to his fingertips. And sideburns-- his hands fled to his head, quaking. Between his pallid appendages, a lock of straw blonde hair.    
    He realized his feet were wet. Looking down he saw he was in a dress shirt, unbuttoned to his chest. Slacks. Loafers beside him while his toes soaked at the brim of a pond. The second realization: under him wasn't the softness of a bed. All around him in a borderless field: sunflowers in full bloom. Everything under the full glory of the sun in the afternoon. The weather was that perfect transition between spring & summer. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he rubbed his fingers together. He could still feel. Lifting the hem of his pants, he saw the unruined flesh of his ankles & calves. Lightly covered in fine, yellow hairs. Pursing his lips & swallowing hard, he crawled to the pond.  
    And there he was, Ruben Victoriano. Aged thirty seven. Short, blonde hair neatly combed to the side. Eyes a piercing gray on clear, white sclera staring back at him. Eyes lined a thin layer of golden lashes. Huge ears framing  _both_  sides of his face.  
"G'day, handsome," he started, looking behind him. "Careful, now. I hear some bloke named Narcissus fell there. You don't happen to be him, do you?"  
"Nina..."  
    She beamed. There she was, reclining beside the spot he lay in. Olive skin under a black sundress complimented by a hat & shades. She too, was flawless. Unmarked by decay nor water damage. Looking the same age as him.  
"How long did it take you to manifest all this?"  
"Long enough," she plucked a sunflower to sniff it. She glanced back at him, lowering her glasses. Lips puckered to the side.  
"What I'd give to make love to  _that_ body," she whistled. He stood, arms fanned. Actual eyebrows knitting.  
"How?"  
"Well, you live long enough alone in STEM... you tend to...  _imagine_  things," her tongue glided to the top of her teeth. He crouched to her level. "We could make these our default manifestations, though. If you want..." He knelt beside her as she stroked his hair. Then cupping his cheek. He leaned into her touch, lashes batting her skin. Nina marvelled at her work.  _Such a silver fox, you are._  But his eyes lowered as if searching & scanning for answers. It doesn't take long for him to look at her with his default stern look.  
"No."   
    Nina's face was a mixture of disappointed & unamused. She tossed the sunflower over her shoulder.  
"We have a job to do."  
She acquiesces. A reluctant gesture of her fingers & a snap dissolves the glamour around them. And they both stand up.   
"You conjured on a rooftop?"  
"Yup! Yeet!" A kick topples Ruben over the edge like a Persian emissary into a Spartan well. "I liked that body."  _Sa bagay, this one has more personality-- Personality being crazy beyond all recognition._  He glitched right back in front of her.   
"You'll pay for that later," he pointed a finger at her. "Now get into position."  
"Where are they?"  
"Corner of eleventh & thirteenth."  
  
    Combing her hands through her hair, the stringy dishevelled mess pulled into glamorous, bouncy waves reminiscent of a vintage movie star. A shimmer downwards has her waterlogged cadaver body turn into a normal, tan one. Her chemise transitioned into a longer, high slit dress. Some heels to add inches to her lacking height. Then make-up.  
    He hated her playing lure. Ruben knew Nina belonged only to him. Nevertheless, jealousy coursed through his veins when MOBIUS agents stared her way. Albeit platonically with curiosity & under orders from higher ups to investigate, if not follow the mysterious woman who could fell Haunted with crystals & thorns. Obedience & curiosity they'd regret as they're pointing their glocks at her. Only to have spindly, multijointed arms shoot from the ground to bind & drag them to their demise. Or worse, experimentation. Their pain was worth his envy.  
    Nina chose her diversions carefully-- Haunted she was sure were hapless in the sense no humanity was left nor voices cried out of. Not to say she didn't perform her own eliminations. When she got the chance, her kill was decisive & final. If she ever enacted torture, it wasn't too prolonged. Even if half a minute of impalement or quartering felt like hours, when she was done, she was done.   
  
    MOBIUS agents proved to be good torture fodder for Ruben. It beats hunting some poor mental patient with no control over their own faculties. But they agreed on nothing-- Nina didn't know how long this substitution would last. Or when he'd get suspicious of the lack of subjects. She pondered as he began to vivisect a corporate lackey on his operating table.   
      
    But wherever they hit, Nina left a calling card: a flash of power at MOBIUS. Every location they killed at, Nina would set an entire building on fire. A seemingly perpetual blue flame that engulfed the entire structure. It would only stop burning until everything including concrete & steel was ash. This too was a ruse. Fire to keep both MOBIUS & Ruben away. The flames only consumed the facade. The interior was neither unharmed nor heated. These structures concealed survival within them: mental patients, hospital staff, other people who got involved in STEM for one reason or another. Once it burned enough, she collapsed the edifice, moving its tenants to another safe house as to deflect any suspicion from Ruben that she might be hiding people.   
    Some consciousnesses suspect her of being a spy for Ruvik. But that was on them if they didn't want to trust her. They could brave the zombie-ridden wilderness of fake Krimson City or Elk River Village if that was their choice. A choice she wouldn't hold with reproach. She understood why. But people coming back or her having to save them despite their initial declaration wasn't unheard of.  
    Unfortunately, there was no time to worry about overcrowding. People in STEM had to decay eventually. And when her wards showed signs of turning, she gave them the choice to either stick it out with the rest of the Haunted or die by her hands. A quick execution: either by beheading by amethyst axe or sticking an amethyst spike to the brain & heart-- like a bullet. Better a swift death in the last throes of autonomy rather than being one of Ruvik's guinea pigs. This hard responsibility was unwanted but necessary on Nina's part.   
    But it wasn't all morbid standard procedure. It was in these projects that she struck an unlikely friendship.  
"Ginoong Diaz?"  
"What I say, Nina? Quit calling me by my father's name!"  
"Yes, yes. Sir Ivan the terrible."  
"Ha, that's funny. What you got?"  
"Vino. Yellow Tail. Twenty ten."   
"Ah, not bad a vintage! Got a light?"  
"Look around you, you dingus."   
    Ruben didn't favor hospice inhabitants alone for his experiments. People with the most gumption about them & strong personalities were the most fun to bait & break. These haughty spirits would know their place beneath his soles & become mush he could shape. He enjoyed making people question their sanity as he took it. But deteriorating the psyche was the best part as much as watching it slowly collapse. However, some were challenging to deconstruct & destroy than others. But that just added another layer of amusement. Ruben faced this challenge & their arrogance with his own.  
    Among these stubborn souls was reporter Ivan Diaz. He was casing Beacon & to a lesser extent, MOBIUS. Until Jimenez offered him something he couldn't refuse: an exclusive interview with the genius recluse Victoriano heir. Before he knew it, he was out cold in a basement bath tub of white slurry. He awoke next another damned consciousness on the way to breaking in STEM. Nina found him & before they realized it, hangouts were a thing in a burning abandoned shoe factory. Being a seasoned interviewer & journalist, she peaked his curiosity. But in place of interrogations & confrontations, gossip & chatting over merienda & chess matches.  
"Girl took my rook, my queen & my bishop! Take the rest of my pride, why don't you?"  
"Well, when your ex-boyfriend's a prodigy-psychopath, you get the hang of chess pretty well."  
"Lady, you're some kinda crazy to be with that guy."  
"And you sir are just as nuts to have gone this far for the truth," she smiled brightly at him. He was reminded of his niece: spunky & mouthy.   
"Hey, the people have a right to know. Besides, it was almost worth it. Now if only I didn't get myself killed."  
"You & me both, bub. So much for the truth setting us free."  
"In a way, he played us both like guitars, kid. Was Ruvik worth it?"  
"I should be asking you that question, too. And I think you & I both know our answers to that."  
"Right... Welp. Anyways..." He popped a new cigarette in his mouth. His eyes saw the gashes on her arms. They led all the way to her back. "Those are new."  
Nina's eyes drifted to them & downward.  
"O'Hara, you got to stop doing this to yourself & I don't mean being with Ruvik. But you should probably quit him, too." Her angry eyes snapped back to him.  
"I'll stop when I stop fucking up!" Her fist slamming onto the table made the chess set & their drinks dribble. She sighed, holding her head.   
    Several times, somebody got caught. Her operations were never blown but... the people she cared for were under her watch. So when somebody with say, Alzheimer's or low functioning autism wandered out of her apartments, past the harmless walls of fire & into Ruvik's sights... she could do nothing. Not even forgive herself. Times like these it was her fault they got hurt. And it killed her almost as much as Ruben doing the inhumane experimentation itself. And so, she turned the needles & brambles on herself. Refusing to heal them like he scar above her heart.  
"What are you? A monk under penitence? Kid! Your pain does nothing for the people you failed. Move on!"  
"I do. I have to. But these are reminders, Diaz. I keep forgetting."  
"And what does the boyfie say?"  
"EX! Boyfie. I heal them when he's around."  _A layer of glamour goes a long way._    
"Uh-huh. Sure, he's your ex. You've only been him for how long?  _Only_  since the nineties?" Her smile returned as she lit the middle aged man's tobacco. Her fingers asked for a stick. Which he gave. "He any good in the covers?"  
"Diaz!"  
  
    But in reality, Nina needed to vent. Old Man Diaz was good company but... when she spoke of Ruben, he always had some kind of snark or side comment interrupting her. She needed to rant to someone who'll just listen rather than reply. Nina knew who she could trust.  
"I don't know for how longer I can keep this up! I can feel my sanity & stamina draining, damnit. All this murder is so heavy on the soul-- sometimes I feel like I can't breathe! Then again, I've gotten to cry less & less..." she paced back & forth. "I'm surprised nobody's thoughts have leaked me to him yet. It's a goddamned miracle, it is. And thing is, we don't have a plan against MOBIUS yet, either. They just keep sending more personnel in & I can hear their voices, too. I mean, not that I regret much of our actions taken against them. But," she twisted a finger in her ear in exasperation. "Man, can they be loud. You know what I mean?"  
    No reply. The static portraits of Laura remained unmoving. Forever posted to the corkboard they were hung on; Right above the desk at her office. Nina sighed.  
"I wish you were here-- Wait! No. I don't think you'd be deserving of STEM no more than the way you died. Last place I'd want you to see. That's for damn certain. But seeing Ruben? I don't know if you'd wanna see him like this, either. No one can reason with him. He's completely coocoo!"  _Says the girl talking to a bunch of paintings._  "No one except... maybe you..." 

* * *

  
  
    "Life" in STEM continued. Ruvik would hunt or torment or test with or without Nina. Nina would play along then moonlight as landlady to survivors. Behind her back, he'd still continue inhumane experiments. She knew this & knows she can't stop him. Ruben wasn't explicit with her about it to avoid her nagging &, as fun as they were, lengthy skirmishes that would distract from researching on how to escape STEM in a dummy body. Over time, any feelings of guilt should have calcified into numbness. Her efforts could only go so far but it beat doing nothing at all despite feeling overwhelmed & powerless in the face of Ruvik's encompassing, negating total abilities. All the gore & arguments became routine. But any monotony would be broken by a good tryst or two or five within the week. Nevertheless, the couple held their respective secrets from one another. Yet for all the madness, some kind of stasis was achieved somehow. This arrangement was crazy. It was cruel. But it could be a hell of a lot worse.  
  
    Worse is how it got.

* * *

  
  
    Ca. 2014  
    Nina awoke alone. Yesterday was a full plate: a few dozen survivors had to be moved to a new safe house via an underground tunnel system. Then Diaz christened the new location with an all-night mahjong session. It was great.  
    Stretching, legs still beneath the furs, she noticed a letter on her night stand. Fancy legible cursive in Ruvik's hand. "My bedroom. When you awake. Don't delay. -R."  _He could have just teleported me to his bed. Bastard making me walk-- er, phase across town. Some gentleman he is_. Nina smiled to herself despite knowing this could mean anything from a booty call to a development against MOBIUS.   
  
    Once she got to the master bedroom of House Victoriano, she half expected Ruvik to be undressed in bed, waiting for her... smirking... sheets tented above his crotch. But once she opened the door, he didn't even look at her. He just continued to stare at the window. Knowingly. Smugly.  
"You've been very naughty, Nina. Keeping to yourself."  
"What are you talking about?" She looked at him questioningly. She waltzed to his side by the window to look outside.  
    Horror granted her speechless as her eyes widened with shock. Instinctually, a foot retreated a step. Cold sweat began to form but her mouth ran dry. Beneath them, the entrance  & fountain area had been converted into a small arena. Where the fountain stood was now a circle of five huddled, terrified people: Macy Kay & Henrietta Lee Walsh: two married scientists coerced by MOBIUS to work on STEM's programming, Denver Sorenson: a patient with DID, Harvey Sia: Denver's caretaker, & Dr. Anais Fletcher: a BMH resident who was got by her own curiosity. Nina cared for these people & more in her network of hideaways. Her blood ran cold right as Denver pointed in her direction & the others yelled & jumped for her attention. Flailing hands like shipwrecked passengers looking at their only hope of rescue. Because all around the perimeter of the arena were packed cages. Haunted-packed cages. And they were starving for brains & flesh. Worst part was these were, or used to be the quintet's housemates & fellow rescues. Instinctually, her eyes scanned for Diaz. He wasn't among them & she feared the worst.   
"Selfish of you to hoard all these playthings to yourself. A proper punishment's in order."  
"I'm not gonna listen to any more of this!" Her smoke form passed through the window only to continue phasing through more glass. Like she was in a clear, multilayered tunnel. She could still see beneath. See, but never reach.  
    The voices in her head shouted like crazy. As if there wasn't enough noise, tinnitus tried to divert her focus. It felt as if her ears could bleed at any time. A migraine was forming. Nina tried to conjure amethyst walls around the cages. But in a second, her barriers cracked into dust. She looked to Ruvik & willed thorns upon his feet. He moved forward, anyway. Never mind the organic barbs ripping his ragged skin apart. Everything she desperately attempted, he negated with ease. She didn't know how or when she was beside him again. All she could hear was the din of voices & ringing in her ears as her tearful eyes met theirs: desperate & doomed. With a smirk, he raised his hand & the cage walls came down.  
    Nina could only watch as her unarmed former wards were ripped apart, from limb to limb, torn into with teeth & nails then feasted upon by the undead. Fingers hooked into eye sockets, limbs dislocated, jaws unhinged then ripped away. Evisceration. She could see his smugness in her periphery as she listened to the screaming.  
    Resurfacing, something she hadn't done in a long time: she covers her mouth & allowed the tears to fall. Bitter, bitter tears soaking the bedroom carpet. For a second, Ruvik gripped her chin to taste what he's been missing, licking her cheek. She slapped him away only to see him grinning.  
"Lumayo ka nga sakin!" she screamed.   
    No point in covering the self inflicted scars now. His cruelty she's gotten used to. But she never healed from her self-abhorrence. This was the ultimate failure of her responsibilities as guardian. Two people Nina would never forgive: Ruvik & herself.  
"I must say you had a crafty operation going there for awhile. You think I wouldn't find out?"  
"You'd find out eventually."  
"They were going to turn eventually & you wasted your time & effort. Oh, Nina. As much as I like seeing you like this, give up your game." He wished she'd continue. Like other personalities, much joy derived from seeing them hopeful in their lot only to crush the light in their eyes with some trap or monster. And she wished he'd shut the hell up.    
"I wasted nothing I wasn't willing to lose. Except the lives you took & what I failed to protect. You just sped up the process."   
Her weeping never gets old. It mixes so well with the carnage beneath them. Exquisite.  
"Your good at imagining things, Nina. Picture it: a seed of me in every one of them. In everyone who ever entered STEM. You, my sweet Nina," he brushed a hair over her ear as she jerked away. "Are the only exception. But one true vessel can be commandeered out of STEM. And I am so close to getting to it."  
"The deal's off!"  
His eyes narrowed at her.  
"Our goal used to be taking down MOBIUS. But we've massacred enough of their men. Enough for a revenge toll! They're no longer worth it if you're going to torture as much as they do-- and more."  
"So you're out of the plan?"  
"I want nothing more to do with you!"  
"Very well. Then you can sit & watch."  
    And in a glitch, he's gone. The window looked no longer to the gory outside. But to the view of a lobby. Across the sea of white & scrub green, the red logo of a light house.  
    It matched the red of blood as Ruvik flashed between visitors & patients, staffers & orderlies & everything in between. Killing with a touch that was followed by a fountain of blood. It was like watching a trainwreck. Glued to the slaughter unfolding in the view of the window. Not until the last agonizing murder did Nina run away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Ginoo- Filipino for "Sir"  
> -"Sa bagay"- Filipino, "Then again..."/ "On the other hand..."  
> -"Lumayo ka nga sakin!"- Filipino, "Get away from me!"


	11. Interlude: Purga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, performing her rendition of "Burn" from "Hamilton: An American Musical," Nina O'Hara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: "Dead Girl Walking"  
> For "Burn," it's more of Nina finally separating herself from Ruvik rather than infidelity. A trace of her's still in love with him but there's only so much destruction & negativity she could take.

" _You and your words, obsessed with your legacy...  
Your sentences border on senseless  
And you are paranoid in every paragraph  
How they perceive you  
You, you, you…  
  
**I hope that you burn**_ " -" _Burn_ ," Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, " _Hamilton: An American Musical_ "  
  
    Nina fled to her house, locked the doors & barricaded crystals over the entrance & windows. Once inside, she screamed-- bawling hysterically to the floor. Tears unshed for so long came cascading down. Almost no different from when she first arrived in STEM. Her screams could terrify any banshee. The only thing louder than her weeping were the new wave of despairing voices in her ears.  
    Everything hurt. The people she decided to protect where taken before their true time. Time & STEM were supposed to be what took their consciousness; With her ushering them in an attempt to make the passage peaceful in the least. Meanwhile, the man she loved went on a full blown murder spree. Everything she attempted to avoid, to postpone came in one fell swoop. What have they done?

* * *

  
  
    Eventually, she ran out of tears. And at some point, the voices echoing despair in her head had gone silent. But before they returned, she sat up, straightened herself & concentrated.  
    The vines coiled round her sallow limbs. They slithered at a snail's pace, dragging & pulling their thorns deep into her flesh & splitting areas open. Bright red blood trailed & flowed against her swollen skin. She shut her eyes & focused on the pain. The tattoo's blues on her wrist were rivalled with crimson from the parallel lines that ran up her body.  
  
    When she was ready, she got off her knees. Stalking around her house, she burned every picture of Ruben. Anything that reminded her of their childhood together, she incinerated. Perpetually burning. Snapshots, photographs, the empty butterfly jar... books she borrowed but never got to return...  
  
" _I'm burning the memories_  
  
    She stopped by an imposing oil painting in her parlor. The two of them in '95, staring at the viewer. But he without his bandages. A beanie topping his standard look. She, back in her all-black outfit, sitting in a chair  & holding his hand. Originally, it was a mirror the two had come across after reconciling in STEM. When the couple saw themselves reflected, Nina added the glamour & immortalized them in oil. With a gesture, his side of the portrait immolated.  
  
    House O'Hara's interior was cast in a bright indigo: absolutely frigid to the eyes but ten times hotter than the burn of a red-orange flame. It's livid owner then prowled toward the desk at her boudoir & yanked out drawer after drawer. Items angrily clacked onto the floor.   
  
    Many times in their childhood, school prevented them from calling each other, ironically enough. So, Laura & Ruben decided to write Nina when they couldn't call.   
  
" _I saved every letter you wrote me  
From the moment I read them  
I knew you were mine  
You said you were mine  
I thought you were mine..._  
  
She of course, would correspond back.  _  
  
"You and your words flooded my senses  
Your sentences left me defenseless  
You built me palaces out of paragraphs  
You built cathedrals  
I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me  
I'm searching and scanning for answers  
In every line  
For some kind of sign  
And when you were mine  
The world seemed to  
Burn..._  
  
She only stopped writing after her goodbyes, post barnhouse tragedy.   
    In STEM, she had a copy of everything she wrote. And her clutching hands crumpled all she had written to Ruben  & his replies in a pile. One by one, she reread them then set each one aflame. Suspended in the air, they burned til the end of time.   
  
" _Burning the letters that might have redeemed you_  
_You forfeit all rights to my heart_  
_You forfeit the place in our bed_  
_You'll sleep in your office instead_  
_With only the memories_  
_Of when you were mine_

* * *

  
  
    In affecting her psyche, the events also affected her domain. The cumulative pain  & anger manifested profusely. All over her estate, windows & painted glass cracked. The fertile ground crystallized in ugly patches & starved the earth. Choked of room & nutrients, the gorgeous blue roses wilted. Left behind were the skeletal remains of thorny branches & vines. Thick tar coated over the clear waters of her endless lake. The sticky edges caught fire all around the rim. It surrounded her property in a pyrophobe- proof barrier.  
    Ruben Victoriano. No. Ruvik. Was no longer allowed in her domain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all this was one goofy-ass fanfic. Apologies if this comes off as the cringey kinda edgy
> 
> -"purga"- Spanish, "purge"


	12. Mata Hari & The Sleeping God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though angry, upset & hurt, she missed her man. What's a quasi-immortal entity in a machine to do? Her man, that's who.

" _And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak._ "-Solomon 7:9

 

    From the underground testing facility, Ruvik assumed it was night. Or a night time simulation inside STEM. He looked at the results chart with blurry eyes. Scarred fingers raised to rub them along with the bridge of his nose. So much for being a god inside his own creation. The splashing, thrashing & yelling of test subjects in STEM's rendering of itself was doing nothing for his growing headache. He may have control over this world but controlling too many things at a time while being omniconscious & keeping an eye on everything also had its effects. 

* * *

    Resigned to his tired state, he resolved to finish the test run then retire. For long haul trials, he'd use his old cell. But his back was in no mood for that damn cot. If he wanted the bed, he's getting the bed. Having somebody in it with him was an added bonus.

    Opening the door to the master's, Nina was the last entity he'd expect. Much less, Nina undressed beneath the covers, sipping a glass of wine.  
"Tough day at the office?"  
Tantalizing, but something was definitely off. She was naked. But she wasn't au naturel. She'd healed her self-inflictions, the rosacea around her eyes had faded along with some of the water damage & her hair was closer to the style she sported in lure mode.  
"Back already?"  _Unbelievable._  
"I missed you," she downed more wine. Legs shifted to fold over bare thighs peeking from under the sheets. "How's now any different, Ruben. We fight, we bicker, we debate on the value of human life versus progress  & scientific discovery... only to end up in each other's arms! Ad nauseam..." She swished her glass only to pour more liquor after a gulp. Her lips were stained & she smelled like she'd just scrubbed herself with roses. Her scent a cocktail of familiar & new. He sat by her side, eyeing her.  
"Come on..." her lashes seemed longer than usual. They fluttered as her eyes lowered to his lips. She leaned in, "It's been a long, long day at the lab & it's been  _days_  since I had you inside me." She set the glass down & reached for his shoulders under the cloak. His tense, tense shoulders. Kneading & pressing them didn't take the edge off.     
"No," he swatted her hands off, getting up from the bedside. Nina shed the comforter. Blue thorny vines sprouted from the carpet, twisting around his bare ankles. "Ack!" Ruvik landed face first into the floor. Only to have Nina hop on top of his back. Twisting his body underneath her, he rolled on top of her frame.  
"We have to stop meeting like this!" She laughed.

* * *

    Ruvik took another long, languid sip of the sweet liquor. Licking his lips, he returned the goblet to Nina who too, took a sip. But not before his mouth grazed the hand that resumed to rub his back. He lay prone on the comforter as her hands worked out the knots & kinks. His chin rested on his folded forearms.

    There was no way to kill him in STEM. Let alone with poison. Not only that, she was drinking from the same bottle & cup as he. Could she have taken an antidote before then?... But what did it matter? They were invincible in STEM. He just decided to focus on the warmth & softness of her touch.   
"Why are you here, really?"   
"Does a woman need a reason to see her lover?"  _Ex-lover, damnit. Ex!_  
"Last we met you ran out of this bedroom, crying. I didn't deduce you of all people would be so quick to discard such intense memories."  
"I'm not discarding anything."  
"Oh really? So why are you back?"  
"Because I miss hearing your that smexy voice, that's why," her palms pushed upward of his lower back to his blades  & shoulders.  _And by "smexy," I mean a monotone that could shatter glass... Still hot, though._  
"Since when were you the type to leave your ideals in the face of needs? Needs as basic as Maslow's hierarchy--"  
    Nina's knuckles curled at her hips before she slapped him upside the head. Well, prosthesis side, anyway.  
"Ruben Victoriano. I've been with you since we were six years old  & you've been my boyfriend since we were twelve. You've hurt me & innocent people & you're still banned from my place. But I'm not gonna give us up just because of the demise of insignificant randos. Now shut up & drink your damn vino," she put the goblet in front of him. Continuing the massage, her thumbs slid between his shoulder blades.    
    The low lighting, her touch, the heat from the alcohol & their naked bodies so close together was alluring. He would take her once more. After she was done working his feet. Then dip with her into a long, long peaceful slumber.

* * *

    Untangling herself from his arms, he stirred but didn't wake. He rolled to the other side, snuggling the pillow.  
      
    Nina had to make quick work while the god of STEM slept. But on the way to exiting the Victoriano mansion, she met a boy. After introductions, she spirited him away.

* * *

    Phasing through ceramic, concrete & mazes, she rushed to find the man. In one of the sewers, he lay passed out & wounded like a dog. Nothing she couldn't heal, though. She laid her ear on his chest. Good. It was uneven but loud. Stinky, nicotine & alcohol- coffee breath shooting in & out of his mouth & nostrils.  
    Huffing, Nina grabbed him by the waist & hoisted him onto her shoulder. The brick walls rippled like water as she began to enter. But the man's head bumped against it, rendering it solid against his person. Even though unconscious, he still groaned in pain.  
"Whoops," Nina remembered she couldn't carry things or others while she tried to phase- travel.

* * *

    The place was cozy & warm. But "weird" was an understatement. Blue flames in the fireplace were not something you see everyday. Same goes for floating, lit pieces of paper. His body wasn't as heavy or fatigued as he remembered. Or as wounded. Hell, he could barely remember what he fought last. Zombies? That safe face thing? All he knew was he needed to get back to those two & find that albino kid.   
    Detective Sebastian Castellanos got off the chaise lounge & pinched the bridge of his nose. Right beside the chair, a table with an automatic pistol presented on a black velvet chest. Complimented by three boxes of bullets.   
"Don't mind if I do." Him checking the magazine was interrupted by the ring of a telephone.  
    Behind the lounge was a hallway table where a rotary phone sat, ringing impatiently. Beside it was a family photo. He knew better than to take a stranger's calls but... they were inside STEM.  
"Hello?"  
"Amethyst again?" A man with an Australian accent asked.  
"Yup!" Quipped a girl.  
"Do you ever get tired of the rocks we give?" A different woman inquired, fondness in her tone.   
"Nope. Besides, it's tradition now. Rituals are important. You can't break tradition," she sounded like a teenager.  
"So what do you want this time?" The man asked.  
"Hmmm... a choker. Black velvet should go nicely with amethysts. Cabochon cut, maybe."

"So you decided to rejoin the living," a voice from behind Castellanos made him turn away from the receiver. She looked like the girl in the picture but much older & battle scarred. She handed him a steaming mug. But before he could demand anything, his body got the better of him, sipping. The milky cream flowed down his throat with ease. And the warmth of nostalgia tasted sweet.  
"Horchata. My grandmother--"  
"Your nana? No, no.  _Abuela_. It was always served cold but for you, she'd serve it steaming hot."  
    Sebastian shot her a cautious look, watching her as if he'd reach for the handgun in a second.  
"I didn't mean to pry. Some memories just tend to make themselves known to me. I don't pick  & I can barely control it. I apologize if I intruded on anything, Detective."  
"Sebastian."  
"But your friends call you "Seb."" He shot her another look.  
"Sorry." He shook his head. She extended her hand, "O'Hara. Nina O'Hara. STEM... entity." She withdrew when he didn't shake, continuing to size her up.  
"You know Ruvik."  
"I wonder what ticked that off."  
He lifted his palm briefly, gesturing & looking around the room. "And "entity?" What do you mean "entity?" Lady, what else did you see?"  
"Been here since '95. If I explained my circumstances, we'd be here all day long. Detec, you've been passed out for a day and a half. All you need to know for now is that I'm no threat to you & I'm neither on Ruvik's side nor MOBIUS'."  
"MOBIUS?"  
"So it's true. She really was keeping something from someone."  
"What's true? Who?!"  
"A woman. I hear her voice from time to time or rather the idea of hiding, running, finding, keeping something--" Nina's circular hand gestures were interrupted by the cop.  
"Juli? Juli Kidman?"  
"No clue. Her name never revealed itself to me. I sense strength, resolve. But your partner--"  
"Joseph? What about him?"  
"Depression. I hear suicidal thoughts... self- deprecative feelings..." Nina's eyes lowered. She knew the pang of hopelessness & her hands slid along her arms, over her scars. "He wished he'd jump but he thinks about his daughter & grandfather often..." Her eyes lit up at the detective. "He thinks of you," she briefly smiled. "That's all that comes out..." she then squinted. "That & something about the maple syrup black market back-- "  
"Let's stay on track here. Do you know where they are?"  
"I'm sorry but no," she shook her head. "Just finding you was dodgy enough. STEM's a big place with layers upon layers of planes of consciousness. And I can hear but can't see, communicate-- I've tried & it never works out. Most Haunted I hear are too far go--" Sebastian shot her an alarmed look. "Oh! No, no, no! I don't just hear Haunted. Just really, really strong emotions. Usually. Sometimes benign snippets. I think because when I was alive, my empathic side--"  
"You're dead?"  
"Are you gonna keep interrupting me, Detec? Or should I just..."   
"Sorry."  
"As I was saying, my uploaded consciousness-- this "body,"" her fingers made air quotations. "Manifestation? Or whatever. Retained high levels of empathy from when I was alive, I think. This psychic brouhaha-- the I-hear-dead-people shtick? May be a side effect. I don't know. Ruvik's the genius, not me."  
"Ruvik... "uploaded" you."  
"He wasn't Ruvik then," she cast him a sad, pensive glance. "Not yet. Before the monster, there was a man... A brilliant one at that... but it's like the smarter he got, the more his cruelty intensified..."    

    They paused as she walked him to a heavily beaded curtain in a doorway. He couldn't see what lay on the other side. Sebastian Castellanos wanted to press for more information but could sense O'Hara felt a twang of pain. But not from him.  
"Look, Baste. I know you got a hundred questions right now & I'll try to answer what I can in due time. The truth may have been the worst for me but for you, it might set you free. If you can & are freed, liberate us. Please. At least of this madness-- " she raised her palm & eyes for a second. "Ruvik's madness. But right now, I gotta ask," she parted the curtain. "Is this yours?"  
    The albino kid happily chomped on a crumpet before waving & talking with his mouth full.  
"Th'bthchan," he mumbled.   
"Hi, Leslie," Sebastian waved back before doing a double take. "Leslie?!"  
"I found him in Ruvik's mansion--"  
"What were you--"  
"Leslie. Buddy," she hollered from the doorway, letting go of the beaded curtain. "Just because we have an infinite supply of crumpets, doesn't mean it oughta be the only thing you eat, pal." She turned to the detective, "Kid's hopeless & so's his teeth. I at least got him to drink milk."

    The table before his couch was set with merienda & tea time fare: biscuits, hors d'oeuvres, mini sandwiches, fries. The crinkle cut kind. Sebastian took to the couch opposite Leslie while Nina sat beside him. Napkin in hand she patted the crumbs away from his mouth. A gesture with her fingers & the french fry in Leslie's fingers snaps into a carrot stick. He grimaced before picking up another fry. She clicked her tongue.    
"He won't even eat fruit. No wonder his teeth's so rotten," she sighed as Castellanos gulped down more Horchata.  
"So why were you in Ruvik's house?"  
"Well--"  
    A ripple transversing the entire plane & tinnitus shooting into everyone's ears has Leslie screaming & all of them cringing, holding their heads.  
"Shit! Hide! Take Leslie & hide!"  
Sebastian got on his feet & took the thrashing Leslie, folding with him into a credenza. Nina reluctantly peered out the window when the ringing faded & parted some of the flames at the rim of her lake. Sure enough, the hooded figure in stained white was glaring at her from outside her estate.  
"Ugh," Nina rolled her eyes.  _He's gonna be pissy if I don't let him in._  

    Inside the sideboard, Sebastian covered Leslie's mouth, shushing him. The detective peeked through the crack.   
    With a snap of her fingers, half of the firewall quelled. Ruvik glitched into her parlor. She could see him seething. But his anger was matched with his restlessness when in proximity to her blue flames.   
"Back for more, lover?" She crossed her arms & cocked a brow.  _Lover?_  Sebastian queried at her sarcastic remark. It seemed half-felt. "You know you're still forbidden in my domain."  
"Is that any way to speak after fucking your boyfriend & abandoning him to a cold, deserted bed?"  
    They circled each other like hungry vultures-- either gearing to mate or to tear each other's throats out. Eitherway, the outcome may be bloody.  
" ** _EX_** \- boyfriend,"  _Sheesh, What a drama queen._    
_What a drama queen_ , Sebastian mentally concurred. "You should be grateful I don't immolate you on the spot. Me sheathing your burned cock doesn't change what you did to those people inside Beacon."   
_Beacon? So Ruvik **was**  behind all this. What I saw was real. Jesus Christ... But who is MOBIUS?_  
"You stopped being my lover when the murders began. I just use your dick to stay sane in STEM."  _A good fuck goes a long way in this hell hole. A long way._  
"In other words, we were never together."  
"That might be a stretch, even for us. But I wouldn't doubt it if the boy I loved died either in that basement. Or the fire."  
"Enough games, Nina," he stood still. "Where is he?"  
"Where is who?"  
"The detective you're hiding. And where the hell is Leslie?! I wake up and--"  
"Who-lie? Ruby darling, why don't you peak into my brain  & find out. O wait, you can't!"   
"Bitch! You should be the one grateful I'm not smearing your consciousness over the layers of STEM like a bacteria strain on a petri dish!" He cornered her with a pointed finger. Nina snickered.  
"Even if you did, I'd still be able to piece myself together because even the almighty Ruvik doesn't know what became of his rogue experiment," not breaking eye contact, her lips slid down his finger. His palm dashed across his face. Her own saliva streaked her cheek. Yet she still grinned mischievously as he held her aloft by her throat.  _That did it. God, does he hate me using that name. Those names..._ "Take me."  
"Nina! You are trying my patience!"  
"And you're wasting your time," her smile faded. "By now, the woman probably has Leslie in her clutches. Would you risk a bullet in albino boy's head for a grapple with me?" A sharp point poked Ruvik's cheek. He was surrounded by a circle of crystal stalagmites. "I could use another tussle with you & you & I know I like to drag our battles out if I'm in the mood," a devious flash in her eyes & a circle of blue flames encircled the couple. Ruvik glared at his woman then chuckled, shaking his head.  
"You'd like that," he forced his mouth on hers. Sebastian averted his eyes before covering Leslie's. Ruvik glitched out, dropping the coughing Nina.  
"You can come out now, Baste," tasting Ruvik on her lips for a second, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.  
   
    Castellanos & the boy tumbled out of the cabinet.  
"Sheesh, lady. What is between you two?"  
"Sh-sh-sheesh. Sheesh... two... Between you two," Leslie stretched before returning to his slight bent form.  
"Oh y'know, the usual drama between exes: some history, mental trauma, murder... Did that answer why I was at his place?"  
"Specifically, his bed. TMI, to be honest. And Kidman... what does she want with Leslie, O'Hara?"  
"I don't know. I don't hear anything right now."  
Sebastian dusted himself off before straightening his posture. A light crack was barely audible when he bent his back, hands on his lumbar area. Walking to the windows, he saw the flame barrier resume being whole. Thick pitch bubbled at the edge. Beside his reflection, Leslie had calmed behind him & sat to drink more milk.   
"Any way out of here?"   
"Where's your next port of call, Detec?"  
"I need to see someone. Any idea what this is?" He produced a jar of goopy, scum green liquid. Nina eyed him with raised brows, top to bottom.  
"Where have you been hiding that?"  
(Beat.)  
    From the end of a hallway leading to the parlor, a flickering caught the cop's eye. He approached it & she followed. A Rococo-style mirror hung on the wall. Familiar. But it's patina was black & the frame & reflection within were on fire. The only sound it gave off was the faint crackle from the flames.   
"I used mirrors like these to get where I need to go. But I take it this one's out of order."  
"I used to hold some sort of sentiment for it... But every time I look at it now, I just see him pinning me against the--"  
"Let me stop you right there."  _Ugh. Picturing Ruvik porking anything is the last thing I want to see while I'm alive. No way in hell, STEM or any other reality am I touching that mirror._

* * *

"Watch the house while we're away, Leslie! Don't let anybody in & don't talk to any solicitors or strangers! Particularly hooded, suited ones," Nina waved then pointed warningly. With Castellanos, she stood near the edge of the open flame.  
"Strangers... strange," was his soft reply complimented by the reserved raise of a hand. Leslie watched from her porch as Nina turned to the edge of the tar lake & walked in.  
    Up to her nose in thick pitch, she glanced over her shoulder. The suspicious police officer hadn't even waded.  
"Care for a swim, detective? The water's fine," she smiled, gunk in her hair & teeth. He grimaced but followed into the warm, bubbling tar. Together, they dove into the thick scum.

    To his surprise & bewilderment, past the unsavory layer of black goo were the clear waters of a small ocean. No, lake. Lifeless but pure. Rock formations akin to the beauty of a desert canyon. The tar on their skin & clothes dissolved without a trace in the freshness of the water.   
    Upon reaching an overhang, O'Hara went under. He assumed there was an air pocket. But after popping in, breaching the surface, gasping for oxygen, he was proven wrong.  
"Elk River Village?" He stared up the facade of a stone bridge.  
"This a good spot?"  
"Close enough," he hoisted himself onto the harbor. "I know a place."

* * *

    They entered through a hut where a similar mirror was, shining though broken. Violin & piano played from within. Nina knew it all too well.  _"Clair de Lune" of the "Suite bergamasque." Debussy, 1905._

    Sebastian tinkered with hooks & scrap salvaged off of Ruvik's traps. Across the room, the nurse fitted the medieval-looking chair's syringes with the gel he presented. She turned to the detective in a hushed tone.  
"Level with me, Bas. She somebody you know?"  
He stopped fiddling, turning to her. "How long have you been in STEM again?"   
"Since '95."  
"'95... If I didn't know Tatiana from before... and you don't know her..."  
"Then..."

"The chair is ready, Detective Castellanos," a monotone, breathy female voice startled the two from behind the workbench.   
"Uhh, thanks," Seb laid the bolt down.  
 

    Nina O'Hara watched Nurse Gutierrez strap the cop down. It looked more like a text book demonstration of an execution complete with a determined victim ready to accept his fate. One arm folded, other hand under her chin, Nina's expression was between quizzical & worried. He lifted his bound hands for a second.  
"Don't worry. It looks crazy but it works. Trust me."  
"Mhm. The last time I trusted crazy, I ended up with an orbitoclast in my sternum."  
    The helm lowered. At the flash of electricity & a seizing Sebastian, Nina was reminded of the first milkers & honey eaters. What kind of hungry or desperate do you have to be to touch this & eat that? Who'd have thunk it'd be a good idea?  _Seb, what were you thinking when you self-medicated for the first time with green gel?_  When the session was over, a wobbly detective held his head as she caught him, slinging his arm around her shoulder before he steadied.       
"Do you still know the answer to two plus two?"  
"I'm fine, O'Hara."  
"Listen, Baste. I gotta check on Leslie. If Ruvik sees us together, hears your thoughts... Odds are he'll come after him. There may be hope for my own redemption yet."  
"What's the deal? Doesn't he need you to lower the barrier to get in?"  
"Ruvik's meaner & more powerful than I could ever hope to be. He--" she glanced at her scars. "He'd find a way, peel apart this plane if he had to. Fires are just a preventive measure. I don't fully know why he wants him-- or your Kidman for that matter. But I have an idea."  _But one true vessel can be commandeered out of STEM._ "But I'll be damned if another innocent soul gets trapped here on my watch. Can you hold up for a bit without me?"  
"Lady," he stared at his ammo cargo stacked by Tatiana's desk. "I think I can manage."  
"Thanks," handing Baste to Tatiana, she journeyed for the mirror. Before she left, she snapped her fingers. A platter of appetizing Turkish Delights materialized on the nurse's desk.  
"That's for you, Nurse Gutierrez. I think you oughta get your blood sugar up." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have used this quote:  
> "Your lips are like wine and I want to get drunk." -Anonymous, but erroneously credited to William Shakespeare  
> But it's bogus & a bible quote would be more fitting for Nina's personality. 
> 
> Also, I can see why people don't like Leslie. But I can't hate the kid. He reminds me of my cousin with low functioning autism.


	13. Consultation For The Antithesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire walk with me, fire talk with me, o thorn in our side.

    Corner to corner, she neatly folded the thin, patterned paper. A stretch of the tips & she's got wings. Handing the bird to Leslie who watched expectantly with big, curious but worn eyes.  
"This one's a crane," she said matter-of-factly.  
"Crane... crane..." he studied the folded paper in his hands.  
Nina slipped another sheet from the cushion beside her but as she began crease it, a murmur came to mind. The voice had gravitas. But its aura felt small... timid. Desperate to solve something. Determined towards some goal... but cowardly in a fight.  
    She set aside the folded paper & stood. Anger prickled her skin.  
"I'll be back, Leslie," she walked past him playing with the rest of the origami menagerie.  
    Once outside her home, her trail of incense smoke flew amid the Krimson City air.

* * *

  
  
     _Damn it all, Ruvik._ Torch in mouth, the doctor's veined hands rifled through the filing cabinet. Dust, darkness & ruin escorted him in his hunt for intel. Desertion would have joined them but... In this rendering of Beacon Mental Hospital, one can never be certain whether they're alone or not. A creak. He snapped to look over his shoulder. Nothing there but he swears he just saw the wheelchair move on its own. Looking back to the series of folders, he continued to search. Wallace... Wendig... Withers! _Eureka._  Taking the file, he turned around. Looking up from the text, he came face-to-face with a tentacle-headed Haunted. Dr. Jimenez dodged its swipe as he caught the stack of papers on the corner of the table. The flashlight clattered onto the tiles. Blinking, it remained lit. And in the light, the creature disappeared from view. He made a break for it across the desks & the doors, vaulting for the nurses station. He could hear the hissing among the squishy tendril sounds & footsteps.   
    The attempt to make his panting less audible was futile. _Oh God, what was that thing?! Another one of Ruvik's... "creations?!"_  He swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes for a second. The steps sounded nearer. Hefty dollops of sweat trickled down his thinning temples. Marcelo opened his eyes & saw the litter on the floor rustling.  
    He twisted on his hip & broke into a sprint. Crashing through the double swinging doors, he swung anything & everything in his path to encumber the monstrous zombie: wheelchairs, rolling tables, privacy screens, any hospital bed that wasn't braked down... Looking behind him, he only realized he stopped running after hitting a wall. And the wall growled.  
    Marcelo Jimenez stumbled backwards, papers still in hand. The massive man in the sloppy wifebeater before him was built like a brick shithouse. Caging his face was spiked metal: like a bit for a rabid mutt. His chainsaw whirred to life once the behemoth beheld the doctor.  
    However, the goliath looked up to see furniture moving on its own. He stalked past Jimenez & brandished his chainsaw. Then waited a second or so before slicing the air. The Haunted's materialized figure writhed after being bifurcated. Then dropped dead.  
    But just as Jimenez got up to get away, a thick hand grasped the scruff of his neck.  _Oh, dear._ His eyes widened. Wriggling in his clutch, the giant lifted the doctor up. The brute's cataract-ridden eyes gleamed maliciously as if considering lopping off a limb, then & there.  
  
    Chainsaw raised & whirring, an amethyst spike from the far wall pierced whatever the mask didn't cover before he could execute his decision. The heavy tool anchored his arm down, gnawing at his leg flesh carelessly. The Sadist's body ragdolled in newfound stillness.  The doctor rolled away in time before he too, was cut.  
"Marcelo Jimenez!" A woman's voice bellowed.   
    From the darkest depths of the hallway, he heard footsteps. They grew close as he tried to figure the voice's identity-- it didn't belong to Kidman. That much he knew. Pair by pair, small blue flames on either side flickered into life like ghostly sconces. He gulped as curiosity instead of fear pinned him to the ground. The footfalls sounded bare as their forward stalking continued. The darkness retreated as a woman in a black chemise emerged. Small: past five feet, maybe. South East Asian if not Pacific Islander was his guess. Looking & moving like a cadaver from a watery grave. She was no Haunted. He would have called her dark eyes soulless. But there was too much wrath in them to be called so. He would have called her Ruvik's antithesis.   
  
    The lady in black disdainfully approached the doctor, hands on her hips. Literally & figuratively, she looked down on him. She sneered.  
"Get on your feet, Jimenez. And wipe that pathetic look off your face unless you want me to do it for you, old man. It's not the first time you saw something you couldn't comprehend."  
"What? Who  _are_  you?"  
"Oh my God, " she smiled both amused & annoyed. "You really have no fucking clue, do you, Doc? Look again." A wave of her fingers & gray sashes of smoke spiralled round her. When the plume dissipated, it left behind a little girl in a fringe & eighties mourning dress. "You & Old Man Victoriano weren't the only ones who knew of the barn survivor-- what-- who really was locked in that basement all those years ago," the ten-year-old spoke with double voices: hers, twanged by an Australian accent & that of the eighteen-year-old's. Dr. Marcelo Jimenez couldn't believe his eyes.  
"Little Nini O'Hara?"  
"Huh. My old nickname. Never thought you'd remember it..." she transformed back to her default form. "Unlike the Hippocratic Oath." Her hand found her hip as she circled Marcelo, banefully eyeing him up & down. He followed her gaze in place. Looking uneasy.  
"Nina--"  
"In the flesh... Well, sans the flesh."  
"What happened to you? You looked like you drowned!"  
"You should have asked that when Ruvik was still Ruben. You had a hand in this, you know. I oughta lock your consciousness in here forever with the monsters... But no... revenge on you is not mine to take. It's Ruvik's." _I'll just treat myself to watching him writhe._ "Enjoy the consequences," she began to shift.  
"Wait! Please--" he grabbed her wrist while it was still solid. A glare of daggers makes him back away. "Nina... don't leave me alone in here."  
She scoffed. "Who left Ruben in the basement? Who allowed the continuation of the abuse of a ten-year-old boy ni isang imik galing sayo?!" she pointed an accusatory finger as she stomped forward. The old doctor raised his hands in defense. Her belittling gaze matched his calculating one. "I mystify at money in the sense it fills your pockets  _and_  shuts you up."  
"Physician- patient privilege-- especially one during such _intense_  rehabilitation..." He struggled to find the words.  
"Bullshit. Quit justifying the unjustifiable. It doesn't work for Ruvik, you or anybody else. Speaking of which, give me a reason why I  _shouldn't_ leave a thieving geezer like you to the--" her look panned to the folders in his hands. "What do you want with the Withers boy? Walk with me, talk with me & I'll lead you out."  
  
    Jimenez looked incredulously at her. She was still undeniably pissed but most of her seething fury toned down. He held his tongue to any question why'd she want to know or if she came here just to tell him off lest he risked her totally abandoning him. She turned to him.  
"Lie & I'll know," was her ominous warning before she started to walk & he trotted to her side.  
"Leslie... might be the key to exiting STEM for us... for Ruvik," Nina stopped dead in her tracks. She snatched the files & scanned everything.   
"A dummy body..." she choked, "O God!" Dropping the folders, she zoomed out of there in smoke.  
"Nina!" Jimenez cried. She zoomed back.  
"Know how to use a gun?!"  
"Uh, yes?" He felt a sudden weight in his lab coat pocket but when he glanced upwards, she was gone.    
    His ears perked up once he heard the familiar moan of the undead. Fiddling with his pocket, he stanced, undecided whether to fight or flee. His finger found the trigger & pulled the firearm out.  
"A FLINTLOCK?!" 

* * *

  
  
    "Leslie!" Nina phased into her home, looking around. "Leslie!" Her parlor was deserted. Steamed milk in its cup long gone frigid in the empty air. The foyer, the guestrooms, her boudoir, study, etcetera. Not a white hair nor hide nor repetitive echo. Nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- "... ni isang imik galing sayo."- Filipino, "... not so much as a peep from you."


	14. Sea Of Fire, Pyre Of Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A particular monster was the straw that broke the camel's back.

**"De mortuis nil nisi bonum."** \- Latin proverb

  
    Bare feet & blue toes tread the path leading to the Victoriano house. In case he was there, coming as she was would be accepted as a gesture that raised no alarm as opposed to apparating through & intruding her ex-lover's privacy. In case he wasn't there, she was going to pass through every hall, every crevice & creak til she found Leslie.  
    Nina O'Hara had a plan: Search: If Ruvik wasn't home, raid his manor; Interrogate: If he was home, beat around the bush first. If futile, grill him for answers. If answers guaranteed and/or he's being difficult,  _literally_  grill him. Lastly, fight: if he won't give Leslie up, Nina was willing to wage war.  
  
    The Withers boy was her sole shot at redeeming herself. Nina had no reason to fear Ruvik anymore: he killed those she tried to protect but in essence, freed her from fearing what he'd do next. What had she to lose?  
  
    However, as she neared his basement lab, she heard burbling. Then mad screams reverberated through the chamber & halls. Peeking into the doors' crack into his operating lab, all she saw was Ruvik before a geyser of blood. The sick snapping of bone in flesh could be heard. Out of the spewing pit of blood, skeletal, bony arms burst forth. Needle-like claws tipped the spindly appendages. Its flesh was mottled by burns not unlike Ruvik's own. Then the head emerged: yards of stringy black hair covering the feminine monster's face. Though obscured, it made Nina's blood shake & shiver cold. And for a second, her broken-but-working heart stopped. Then the creature turned to her. It clambered towards her direction. And bust through the entrance. It--  _she_  met Nina's gaze for only a fraction of a second before shuffling into the hall. In that split second, all thoughts of Leslie dissolved. The creature's tortured gaze was the blue of aquamarines.   
    She slammed through the double doors.  
"How...  ** _dare_**  you..."  
  


* * *

  
  
    Clang! Sebastian's bullet hit the lever & the arachnid-woman was baptized by fire. Her horrible screeching echoed through the fiery dungeon. Then died out.  
    But the detective had no time to breathe. He turned his attention to the next corpse. Bloodcurdling wails signalled her return. Castellanos checked his magazine. Three bullets left. He popped it back in & cocked his gun. She had fully emerged from the open cadaver. And he aimed for another flame pipe lever.   
  
    Nina blocked his view before he could pull the trigger. He stood down but leaning to the side, cocked his brow at the back of her head. The monster had stopped screaming & stilled. The three of them in a hell of metal & fire. Blood, guts & bullets.  
    Nina took the first step forward. The monster began her rush but everything seemed to slow down.  
  
" _I have crossed the horizon to find you..._  
  
    In the divided sea of flames, Nina's azure fires faded over the surrounding flames, slowly following her lead as they swallowed their counterpart.  
  
" _I know your name..._  
  
    One by one, her solemn tears fell to the heated floor, evaporating on contact.  
  
" _They have stolen the heart from inside you..._  
  
    Nina O'Hara's skin began to flake as she approached the spider woman.  
  
" _But this does not define you..._  
  
    The flakes flew upward in the hot air.  
  
" _This is not who you are...  
_  
    What they left behind was Nini. In the jumper she wore when she first met her.  
  
" _You know who you are..._  
  
    The claws reached past the little girl's form. The six-year-old looked her in the eyes. Continuously, Nini's tears flowed as she cradled the creature's face & lowered her eyelids.  
"Laura... come back to us..."  
  
    Sebastian blinked.  _Laura..._  But his eyes adjusted to the glare once he opened them again. It was day out. In a neverending field of sunflowers. Standing beside him was O'Hara, back in her adult form. She was crying quietly, almost unmoving & looking down on something. Someone.  
    Upon the yellow & softness lay a cold beauty. Pale like porcelain stained with blood-red lips. Red like her dress. Still & tranquil for all time. Her long black hair reached all the way to her waist. Her crossed hands lay over her chest with a sunflower beneath them.  
"She looks like she's just sleeping," Sebastian concurred. But when he turned to his companion, she had disappeared. He snapped back to Laura's body. But all he could see ahead of him was an underground hospital tunnel. "Ruvik..." Nearby, he could hear Debussy playing.  
  


* * *

  
  
    Ruvik's nails dug into the meat of her upper arm. He dragged her on the way to the Victoriano master bedroom. But could one call it "dragging" when she followed soundlessly. Waiting, watching instead of phasing out of his grasp & engaging battle. Even with his full back to her, she can sense his fury. He stomped into the room & threw her in.  
"Who-- what do you think you are?"  
"Doing? Honouring the dead & their memory," she clenched her fists. Though her eyes were damp, her stare was solid. Watery black holes gazed accusingly into angry starlight. "Every person you sent here, you indiscriminately sentenced to hell. Including me! I sit by & watch with their companions as STEM-- as  **you**! Dominate their  **minds** &  **bodies**. And compared to you, I am weak... I am... But I. Am not.  **Helpless**. At least there was somebody in the little guy's corner to cushion blows from you, from STEM  & those monsters.  
"And Laura?! Is nothing sacred to you?! You took something beautiful & pure like your sister," her hand waved as she glared indignantly at him. Down the windows' glass poured a glittering display of the older Victoriano sibling in red: her laughter & smile as bright as the sunlight & sunflowers she held. The petals & her Rapunzel-esque hair, swayed in a breeze the two could not feel on their side of the glass. The stale air between the man & woman was thick with toxicity & contempt for one another. "And corrupted it into something wretched. Wicked. Resentful. You turned her kindness into beastly cruelty & your evil has marred her memory," Nina spat bitterly at the burned phantasm. The display then cracked, revealing the rebirth creature surrounded by fire, gore & rotting human remains. Her covered, silent-though-screaming face looked like she was about to leap into the room with them.   
  
    The fires within the stained glass glowed & glistened, highlighting the tears of Nina's eyes. Ruvik remained unmoved.  
"Part of me is glad she's dead!"  
She snapped her fingers & the room was shrouded in visible blackness. A layer of soot coated the windows.  
"You shut your mouth!" Ruvik rushed her at least, gripping her chin in one hand & wrist in the other. This was different from sex. This was control matched with unbridled rage & hatred. Never had Ruben thought he'd hear those words of disrespect at all. Much less from their closest childhood friend who was close enough to be a sibling.  
"Wanna know why? Laura should have been spared from the fire... But she should also be spared the sight of  **you**. It'd be just as worse as burning alive to see her beloved brother grow up to become an inhuman monster."  
"Insolent witch!"   
    Numbness followed after the blow. Ruvik began to pant after the slap. With a swelling cheek & already flowing tears, she continued to stare at him.  
"Everything in STEM belongs to me: those people, their bodies, their memories... You are here now because I willed it. You're empowered state--  _mistake_ , experimentation as it was-- you owe to me. Stop trying to find Leslie. You already failed your previous wards by protecting something you can't fight. Not forever, anyway."  
"Forever's all we beings got."  
"Are you even listening to yourself, Nina? Some insanity comes from executing repetitive behavior expecting things will change. They'll never change, Nina. Stubborn, stubborn, Nina..." his hand held the bruise starting to form. "You were always so hard headed." Then his thumb pressed hard on the blooming purples. Unflinching, she ignored the pain & remained staring him down. "You are more powerful than you know," he brushed a lock behind her ear. "But you are nobody's goddess," he let go at last. Her nostrils flared. "Any hope or evidence that your little refugee camps worked was from staving off eliminations & possessions. Keeping you on your toes for as long as I wanted. I never got tired of watching you & your people look so thrilled when their companions reunited or you safely moved them into another safe house. Only for me to take everything you worked for... away: just like everything else in here. I take what is mine. You're no different from everything & anything else in STEM. Because at the end of the day, you belong to me."  
"I do...  _did_. A long, long time ago I was already yours... even while  & after the barn burned with you & Laura in it-- even after your horrid father sentenced you into isolation... I belonged to you... But it wasn't the fire that scorched your path, burned your ties & bridges asunder. It wasn't your father who experimented on, tortured & killed all those people... You had my heart, Ruben. And stabbing it wasn't the only thing that broke it," she walked past his unphased form, ready to exit. Risking to turn into a pillar of salt, she dared to look back over her shoulder.   
"I'm going. And this time... I  **don't**  want you to chase me."  
"Nina--"   
    Lowered fingers snapped. A semicircle of flames engulfed her. Ruvik shielded his view with his forearm as walls of blue fire lit the sides of the hallways to her exit.  
"Goodbye, Rube--" she caught herself. " _ **Ruvik.**_ "  
When he lowered his arm, she was gone, flames burning in her wake.  
  
    Ruvik's instinctual aversion to fire took over. But just as he was about to extinguish them with a wave of his hand, he was interrupted by a phone call. The ringing came from the nightstand. He remembered it as one of the earlier O'Hara Telecomms phones installed in the manor. The mad scientist picked it up & heard her voice.  
"Like how I smell?" she giggled. No Australian accent. She should be an adult at the time.  
"It's the adrenaline in your system I love... my favorite hormone mixed with your...  _pheromones_." It was the night of their first liaison. When little Nini had returned as Nina. The teasing brat had grown into a loving, empathetic woman.  _His_  woman. His no more.  
"Your perfume however, smells like a barn."  
She laughed, "It's oud from Abu Dhabi. O-U-D. Sometimes spelled with an "h." Oud, cherry blossoms. Incense, I think."  
"I'd risk the offending odors & triggering PTSD if it meant seeing you in my bed like this."  
"Really, Ruben?" She sounded sarcastic. "My, my. I feel so honoured."  
"No, you don't--" silence accompanied by the ruffle of sheets.  
  
    Ruvik lowered the handset, got the entire unconnected phone in his hands & threw it out the window, shattering the soot-encrusted glass.  
"Defiant bitch."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -"De mortuis nil nisi bonum."- Latin "Don't speak ill of the dead."  
> -Inspired by the Te Ka scene from "Moana." Apologies if this was really corny but I felt Laura deserved at least some kinda gesture of respect worthy of a heroine who loved & tried to save her brother. Emphasis on "tried," cause, y'all know, he turned psycho.  
> -I've never played "Far Cry 3" but even I know Vaas' definition of insanity.  
> -Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lot%27s_wife


	15. Interlude: Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina spoke.

" _I threw myself to the wolves,  
only to find the tenderness in their howl,  
and the loyalty in their blood._" -" _The Wolves_ ," Isra Al-Thibeh  
  


    Alone, Nina retreated into her empty house. At the parlor, she willed the leftovers & furniture away. The crackling of fire was more audible against the quietness of everything else. And upon the carpet, she sat. Folding her legs, she closed her eyes, exhaled & inhaled slowly. Then concentrated. Many times before & now, she's done this. Nina listened.  
      
    Many times she tried something to match the listening. Countless times & tries she failed. It would work for awhile but the connection would sever in no time. However, she was stubborn: doomed to try & try again. Nina O'Hara spoke.


	16. Interlude: Baste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set around Chapter 11-12, Detective Castellanos makes his way downtown. Walking fast, Haunted past & he's Beacon bound. ~~Then Ruvik speeds across town in his piano.~~ Sebastian realizes he forgot to ask Nina something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why this wasn't interspersed earlier in the story was because I chose to keep majority of the narrative relationship-centric between Nina & Ruvik: focusing from their shared past to eventual falling out. I felt introducing/implying bout Seb earlier than him showing up would wreck the creative flow.

    Gore caked the carpet as three Haunted feasted on the carcass. Squelchy sniffs & chewing spilled onto the hallway. Crouched low, Detective Castellanos crept close to the ground. His feet avoided debris. Any crunch of concrete or brick could alert the trio. His pace was slow, sure. At this point, his heartbeat & breath had eased. Used now to the treacheries of STEM.  
    He thought he was clear, looking around him. But once he stood, rounded the corner & heard the familiar, irritating beeping, it detonated. A blind spot, he surmised as he grunted. The explosion had set off several bullets. His revolver still worked & had  _some_  ammo, that much he could see. Along with a burn on the right shoulder side of his chest the size of his palm. It too, ached. The explosion was enough to alarm them. His groans only confirmed his location. Now, three Haunted eyed him down from the end of the hotel hall before charging at him.  
    The fresh ache disallowed the lifting of his arms: the arm that held the gun. He groggily stepped back. But just as he slumped to the corner, thorns burst forth from the nearest zombie closest to him. Right through the chest, writhing & whipping about like tentacles. They wrapped around the undead's heart & snatched it out of its cavity. The corpse stopped moving & fell over Sebastian's knees which he kicked off.  
    The ghost before him took the heart in her crystallized claws & stuffed it in her face. Wait...no. Rather, the rippling hole in her head where a face should be. No feet either. Like a clawed wisp with bladed elbows & reinforced ribs. With the blades did she slit the throat of the zombie who jumped her from behind, only to pass through. The other she impaled through the gut before devouring both their rotten hearts. When the apparition was through & the brambles retreated back into the crack between her breasts, she floated down the hallway. Then disappeared.  
  
    It then occurred to Sebastian: he forgot to ask O'Hara if these entities were hers. Surely, next time he won't forget. Counting now, this would be the fifth encounter with the feminine, wraith-like heart-eaters. Sometimes, they'd attack in pairs or more. Sometimes, they'd manifest solo. He'd been saved once. And now, again. Another time, he saw them phase through the bricks & stone then attack an Alter Ego in the cave-sewers.  
    Regardless of whether or not they were consciously conjured, they had to have come from Nina. With the mental & emotional capacity & history with Ruvik, she'd be suspect to forming them. He doubted they were Tatiana's, or anybody else's. Let alone his. He shuddered at the thought of his own demons from his checkered past incarnating in this world. He didn't like the thought.   
    Not to mention, Ruvik's creations were fleshy, visceral mockeries of once living creatures & people: mutated, misshapen, carrion-like & mutilated. These looked more spiritual, ghostly. And predominantly feminine.   
  
    God, he wished for a cigarette. In his reflection, leaning against the wall, only after awhile did his attention return to the searing, itchy pain in his limbs, a crawling, cooling sensation upon them, & a swarm of eyes staring up at him.   
    Sebastian jumped to his feet & brushed off the finger-sized worms. They fell to the rug in soft little plops, seemingly unaffected. He was about to squish them underfoot til he realized he was being examined. Some of the slugs still on his shoulder gazed up at the rugged detective who held his foot aloft above their brethren. Massive, round eyes, some hazel, olive, lime or a ringed combination or a different color altogether, some on stalks, some in pairs or solo per mollusc, stared expectantly. They all simultaneously blinked a couple of times.  
    Castellanos lowered his foot away from the watching bugs. He was still in pain but what their mucus touched, it soothed. Offering his unharmed palm to his shoulder, several of the critters slithered aboard.  
"Are you... Nina's pets or something?"  
  
    By the mention of her name, one grew plump at the midsection. Followed by the sound of gagging, the bulge travelled upward & was hacked out by the insect onto Sebastian's palm. It stared at him expectantly. Disgusted but curious, Seb dipped his burnt finger into the green viscous vomit. That's not vomit. Simultaneously, all the others, including the ones left on his damaged shoulder, regurgitated. The cooling feeling coupled with regeneration proved his guess: green gel.  
    Replacing the slugs on his hand back onto his shoulder, he slathered the goo onto his wounds. It relieved the pain instantly, encouraging the reddened flesh to heal. Stooping down, he withdrew the rest with a syringe then deposited it into a lidded jar.  
"Thanks, guys. I needed that."  
  
"Heh-heh. Looks like she's in your corner now, Detective," a man's voice echoed. Sebastian's brows knit. His neck craned to where the hallway split. At the corner was a familiar, locked sanitarium cell door with a barred window. Peering inside did no good to identify the man. Bright light from within kept him silhouetted.  
"Who? Nina?"  
"She's a good kid, that one. But you better be careful. Ruvik's still the head honcho around here. Not even O'Hara herself can beat him alone. They used to be an item, you know."  
"So I heard. But that's not important right now. If she can't beat him, how can we?"  
"Correction:  ** _you_**  beat Ruvik. I'm stuck in here, pal & so is she. O'Hara doesn't have a body outside STEM-- not since '95. But I know somebody who dooooes..." his last word ended on a sing-song note.           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bestiary:  
> -Bangungot- named after Filipino folk-myth creature/spirit thing that sits on the chests of the sleeping, suffocating them to death  
> \- representation of Nina' broken heart & thus, attacks Ruvik's creatures  
> -Tango Slugs- green gel-loving molluscs/ caterpillar/ worm-like creatures with a fondness for green gel's taste but cannot digest it so they vomit it out  
> \- they see people they like/ get a sense of & want to share the taste they love so they vomit green gel onto the person  
> \- born from Nina's sympathy  
> \- non-combative, small in size, big in swarms


	17. Kill The Envious Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dishonoring Laura's memory had been the final nail in the coffin. Penultimate chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually didn't expect to write for Jojo & Juli in this but I'm glad I got to anyway. Yay! :D

" _Cry 'Havoc!", and let slip the dogs of war._ " -" _Julius Caesar_ ," Act 3, scene 1, 273, William Shakespeare  
  
    If eyes could vomit, Joseph & Sebastian's would hurl. But no, they were preoccupied with filling the ginormous, spiderlegged mass with more holes than it already had, spewing larvae & pus onto the moving bus' floor. The log-sized slugs bit into their ankles. But a heavy stomp to their heads quashed away the prospective of getting more blood drained. The lumpy monster above them continued to secrete more of the parasites. But the partners found a split second equilibrium to who'd do the stomping & who'd do the shooting.   
    But just as they got the groove, the rhythm & the rhyme to their attacks, a flash of steam-- the flap of wings! From overhead. They look up for a second then saw the monster was gone-- ripped off the vehicle along with a hefty chunk of the rear bumper.  
"Everything okay back there?" Kidman asked.  
"What was that?" Oda turned to his partner.  
"I don't know. I didn't get a good look."  
  


* * *

  
  
    They desperately needed this breather. And this discussion. Why of all places was Beacon pristine against the rubble of Krimson City? The Japanese-Canadian stood to suggest directions to their driver. But then a suppressed shot whipped through the air & the next second, Joseph's in pain. Full body sentenced back to the bench. His black waistcoat masked the bloom of blood at the side of his abdomen. Still driving, Juli Kidman looked over her shoulder. Castellanos was before his partner & her colleague was loudly suffering. She snapped back to the road. Her eyes caught a glimpse of an ambulance.  
"There might be some kind of first aid," she braked. "I'll go."  
"No, I'll do it. Don't let any of them onboard," was Castellanos' command to the junior detective. He disembarked, gun at the ready as he headed for the ambulance.  
  


* * *

  
  
    Pursing her lips, both Kidman & Oda lay pressure on the wound. Though no longer hot in his flesh, the bullet still caused demanding discomfort in his side. Shoes on metal & a dipping feeling made him look up. Salvation thy name is Seb.  
    But just as his partner readied the hemostatic as he knelt, Joseph could see through the pain. Kidman's violet eyes were wide & Seb was as still & surprised as her.  
"What? What's the hold up?"  
Kidman stood, backing away slightly. Until Castellanos gestured her to stop. The bespectacled man turned his head about. He was covered in caterpillars. Slugs? Worms? They surrounded him & the bench. From outside the bus, Seb could see their long trail to the busted window. Only now did Joseph feel the slimy sensation on his wrist & some dampness that didn't carry the warmth of blood on his clothes.  
"Don't! Don't..." Seb kept Juli from stepping on the mollusks with her boots.   
    Detective Joseph Oda's breathing stabilized. He felt the pain dissolve palpably.   
"It seems the mucus they secrete's got anesthetic properties," lifting his shirt, he watched as they crawled over his belly. One actually entered the hole.  
"These your friend's?" Kidman turned to Seb.  
"Honestly, I don't know. But considering Joseph's still got his skin on, I'll take my chances."  
    The escargatoire began to gag. All over the entry wound they puked green gel. Sebastian handed the styptic to Kidman & smeared the goo as Oda exhaled calmly.   
    Two eyestalks popped out of the tightening entry wound, looking around. The slug squeezed out of the opening & climbed onto Seb's finger. Then it jumped onto Joseph's shoulder & began to choke. A couple of coughs & it spat out the bullet. Smiling with its earthy eyes at Joseph who glanced curiously down at it, it slithered against his cheek affectionately.  
"I think she likes you," Kidman smiled.      
  


* * *

  
  
    Kidman floored the vehicle but felt no traction under the pedal. Dead ahead, Ruvik looked tranquil, hand raised as he smiled. Detectives Sebastian Castellanos & Joseph Oda gripped onto the bus' railings as levitation forced it forward. Ruvik lowered his eyelids at last. At peace with the crash about to happen as they passed him, leaping close to six feet in the air.   
  
    All of a sudden, thick, thorned tendrils whipped around the rails. It pulled the bus back down to the asphalt with a crash. The detectives' heads lurched forward in inertia. Oda was sure he sprained something. Either Kidman, Castellanos or the both of them had mild whiplash as they held their heads.   
    But as they collectively snapped their attention to Ruvik-- they too, stared at what he was glaring at. But not what,  _who_.   
  
    A mighty shadow cast overhead to the sound of wings beating. In a heap, the carcass of Heresy was slid to Ruvik's feet. Its eyes had been gouged. The sacs were perforated  & some limbs looked like they were snapped off, leaving gnarled stumps. Mangled tears & boils decorated its body. And the hoses to its mouth have been slashed.   
    All their eyes lifted from the creature's corpse to the terror bird that landed. Heavy crystal talons looked like it freed itself of shackles. A marrow-like crest donned its head. It had no face. Just a massive, jagged beak where features should be. In lieu of feathers were layers upon layers of scalding water-- not boiling-- steaming. But a drop was enough to make the asphalt bubble for a second before it hardened again. Dotted across its wingspan was a plethora of eyes. Those that shed hot tears that bred flight. Like a harpy, she had a feminine body. And like her owner, she shared the scar above her chest. Only veinier & more pronounced. Wings proudly splayed, she dug her head low while her beak stared at Ruvik. Her goose-like neck coiled halfway about her mistress and screeched loudly at the hooded man.   
  
    The crack of sniper fire echoed through the air. From one of the buildings, a masked Haunted fell. It's own rifle followed. It was enough to get Sebastian to motion to his team to his team to get behind her & her creation.    
"Latoya Fernandez," Nina began. "Aged forty one. Military background. Daughter of a general & a staff sergeant. Went to Beacon Mental Hospital for treatment for PTSD." Beside them, a Haunted in a wabele mask fired a crossbow. The bolt found purchase on a zombie from Ruvik's side. Beeping before it detonated. "Nick Morrison. Thirty five. His friends & family called him 'Nico.' Afro-Greek ancestry. Biology professor & one of Jimenez's critics." Two shots were fired behind Ruvik. It made him snap his head back. Two young girls with pistols had just executed Haunted & were now fighting more, hand-to-hand. The one in the kitsune mask strangled a Haunted with its own barbed wire now had her own hands bloody & torn. While her sister in the bunny mask snapped another's neck. Thick blue thorns patterned their bodies. Their soiled white slips had the logo of Beacon Memorial. "Deedee & Haylee Matsuhita. Aged sixteen & eighteen. Both suffered from psychosis. Folie a deux." Automatic fire from an AR-15 filled the air in sets. Trrrr. Pause. Trrrr. Pause. The shots hit Haunted & the concrete around Ruvik's feet, missing him entirely. Intentionally. The shots came from a building window. "Maryam Shapiro. Aged twenty two. Ran away from an abusive household. Iseult Johansen. Thirty three. Single mother. Had a depressive episode at work. Winona Croft. Aged twenty eight. Died writhing not long after getting hooked to the STEM prototype."  
    A second of silence passed.  
"Nina O'Hara. Aged eighteen... Stabbed in the heart with an orbitoclast after confronting her lover about malpractice...  
"Ronan O'Malley. Katya J. Karelina. Fernando Cabrera, Hannah Perez, Chris Taylor, Abigail Lim, Sarah Atienza. Ivan Diaz... Patrick Higgins."  
Ruvik's eyes widened at centimeter for a split second at the sudden name drop of his former lawyer.  
"All those people had stories to tell. Stories you've forsaken & humanity you've all but erased for your own selfish fantasy. They could not be saved. But while they had a shred of command over their beings, I asked for control. I asked _permission_. They consented."  
"I thought you said you failed every time you tried, O'Hara," Seb asked. She didn't even look at him.  
"I tried harder."  
"STEM might be your creation, Ruvik," she bellowed across the divide. "But we are its inhabitants. It may never be home but it is our place. And we're taking it back!"  
    All around, Nina's Haunted howled to the sky. The detectives never noticed up to now that around them, she had their numbers close to a platoon's. The masks had fused to their faces  & what were the masks' mouths, fox snouts, plague doctors' beaks, were theirs now. They opened to croon that desolate cry. Wholly black eyes closed for a second. Nina narrowed her eyes at Ruvik. And with grit teeth, she cursed under her breath.  
"You will  _ **never**_ escape."   
      
    A stomp of her foot & Ruvik's impaled through the gut & chin. Her Haunted marched towards the cops, brandishing their weapons. They rushed them away as Seb took one last look at Nina's back. Only to see Ruvik glitch out of her spines.   
    Her Haunted opened fire at any rival zombies rushing for the officers. Nina apparated into smoke then grabbed Ruvik's collar, about to pierce an eye with an amethyst shard. A glock clapped & one of her own had been shot in the head. Nina stumbled back, holding her head with a shout. It felt like the hottest, most intense migraine she's ever had. Despite there being no wound, blood dripped down from her hairline to her brow & temple. She shot an infuriated look at her Haunted's immobile body then impaled the one who shot her. Ruvik snorted. She turned to him, putting her hand over her eye, making the blood recede back to its nonexistent wound. He looked over her shoulder.  
    One of his impaled her zombie through the gut with a machete. Sure enough, Nina doubled over, dribbling blood.   
"Higher levels of synchronization lead to... mirrored reactions... Interesting," he circled her downed form. But the swipe of her arm behind his legs topples him. Yards away, one of Nina's had totally depleted her magazine. A particularly hefty Haunted yanked her assault rifle from her arms & butted her head with it. Nina sputtered saliva along with more blood. The taste of salty iron coated her tongue. The brute then took his opponent's arm & twisted it, jerking it out of it's socket. Nina O'Hara clutched her left shoulder with a scream & began to pant. Her vengeful eyes met Ruvik's amused ones. She apparated in smoke a few feet away from him as he did the same with a fastforward flash. They stared one another down for a second as Nina waved her hand behind her, signalling for the detectives' full retreat.  
    Escorted by her Haunted, they filed into a wide alleyway. But before Ruvik's horde could follow, Lacrimosa shielded the path in a screech. Swiping her hose-like neck at ground level, her beak swept up several undead & crushed them with a crunch. The others, she waved her wings at. Tears scalded their decayed & misshapen flesh as they screamed.  
  
    In clouds of blood droplets, barbed wire from the ground coiled around the terror bird's talons & up her body. Lacrimosa wailed in pain, struggling to fly away.  But was soon tethered to the concrete save for her wings. They raised defiantly for one more time before the wire threaded through each eye. More wire wound around her neck, tying her to the pavement before finally penetrating her head.      
    Nina's fist crashed into Ruvik's smirk as her knee connected with his abdomen. With a fluid motion of her arms, a circle of blue fires cast around them. Ruvik shook the hurt off as he wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. She was in a combative stance, more than ready to summon more stalagmites if she had to. Any remaining Haunted of his around had blue rose bushes shoot out of their mouths, making for gruesome vases.  
    Ruvik raised his arm as he usually did when disregarding physics. His fingers shot upwards & snapped. Nina saw nothing in the darkness. Knew nothing save for her gut dropping & the feeling of falling forever.  
  


* * *

  
  
    The ground quaked beneath the survivors' feet. The entire of STEM felt like it was collapsing. On each side, the walls seemed to vibrate forth, grinding close. Then everything stilled. But before the last flecks of rubble could hit the ground, gravity ceased. Some of the Voodoo Dolls braced against the brick walls & concrete of the parallel highrises. With outstretched hands, the detectives reached for each other. The trio feared falling into the sky forever-- alone  _or_  with each other. It was a freaky thought. Sebastian grabbed hold of a billboard beam. Kidman, a fire escape.  
"Joseph!" They cried in unison as he continued to float-- to far from anything to hold on to. Terrified, he flailed in place, tumbling farther upward.  
    Then, gravity resumed. Joseph went flying face first downward. His hanging colleagues called his name again. But just as his nose was about to collide with the dirt, darkness. Everything. Went. Black.  
    In the next second, Joseph was beside Sebastian. They both stood in shock, gathering their bearings. Kidman wasn't with them in the defaced hotel. A gaping hole through the wall served as an overlook to Krimson City's remains. It looked like a disaster zone.  
"Look," Detective Oda pointed downwards.  
"Oh God..." His partner beheld the carnage with him. Voodoo Dolls, indeed. Some were hung in nooses of barbed wire. Others impaled if not slumped over with scalpels sticking out.  
"A clear message if I ever saw one," Joseph concurred.  
"Jesus... O'Hara... She must have felt all that, too."  
  
    Rrrrrrriiiiing! Rrrriiiiinnngggg! They simultaneously turned around. The two detectives' survey interrupted. Through what used to be a wall & in a suite was a rotary phone on a night stand. They exchanged looks as it continued to ring.  
"Want to take this one, Detective Oda?"  
"Hm..." Joseph approached the table. Its drawer was already pulled out. Inside lay a letter. But first, he picked up the receiver.  
"Hel... hello?"  
"Are you sure about this, Nina?" Rasped an elderly man with an Australian accent.  
"Yes... yes. Dad. I want to remember Mom this way," a young woman replied. _The woman from earlier? She sounds younger here._  
"Are you sure you won't cry?"  
"I cry when I miss her... I'd cry when I miss you. Hell, I think... I could rival the ocean that took her... But I won't cry on the tattooist's chair. That's for  _ **damn**_  sure."   
"Language, young lady."  
"Sorry, pops."  
    The line disconnected. Joseph reverently lowered the phone back to its dock. His eyes veered to the letter. "For Baste," it read. He took it & handed it to his partner.  
  
    Sebastian pried the indigo wax with the rose impression & unfolded the paper.  
"Dear Detec," it read. "I dunno when I'll see you again but odds are, our only meeting might be our last. I sure hope not. I wanted to share more Horchata with you! Again, I'm sorry for looking in without asking. You know I  _literally_ can't help myself. But seeing as you too, are a father... er...  _was_. My deepest condolences. I have one request...  
    ~~If~~ Once you find my ex-boyfriend, kill him, putting an end to all this, I want you to find my father. I'll leave the reveal of the truth or lack of it to your judgement. I trust you. A parent would know a parent's grief. Do what I ask  & it would be enough.  
     **FIND DENNIS O'HARA**  of O'Hara Telecomms, & tell him how much I love him. I never got to say goodbye. Regards, Nina."     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Reference: "Romeo and Juliet," Act 2, scene 2  
> Bestiary:  
> -Lacrimosa- https://riazana.deviantart.com/art/Lacrimosa-733637355 harpy-like terror bird with wings of heated tears.  
> -born of all the tears Nina's shed over Ruvik.  
> -Voodoo Dolls- Nina's breed of Haunted. All of them have totally black eyes-- no visible sclera compared to Ruvik's Haunted who have bright, shining eyes. They also have a variation of her tattoo all over their person but zero roses. Just wide, thorny vines.  
> -Not all of them have masks but those that do either take it from their ancestry, culture or a place Nina's been to. Masked Voodoo Dolls have the headpiece fused to their face & whatever the mask's features are, are the zombie's features now.  
> -The higher the synchronization with Nina, the thicker the vines of the tattoos & the wider the coverage, the more intense the pain she feels should they get hurt.  
> -Seklusyon- (unused) was a defensive entity that looked like a towering, ghostly nun but acted like a shield. Born of the childhood memory/secret of Ruben being alive & locked in the basement & visiting him. Manifestation attributed to Nina being Roman Catholic.  
> -Filipino for "Seclusion."  
> -Was supposedly gonna go against the Keeper.


	18. Lullabye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End.

"Come on, Lil. It's eight thirty."  
"Aw, Dad. One more episode."  
"No, honey. You said "one more" three shows ago."  
"Okay... I'll think about it."  
"What do you mean you'll think about it? Lily Castellanos, you're going to bed."  
"Okay, okay... can I at least have a bed time story? Before I sleep?" Lily plead with bright blue puppy eyes at her father. He sighed deeply.  
"What do you want to hear?"  
"Hmmm...  _her_."  
"Your mother?" The detective swallowed thickly.  
"I never tire of hearing about Mom but... everytime I do, I end up missing her... I want your stories bout the black lady!"  
"Oh.  _That_  "her.""  
    They made their way to the bedroom. He tucked her in & sat on the edge, close to his blue-eyed baby girl. They looked up at him expectantly. Excitedly. He began...  
"Once upon a time, there lived a god of science & a goddess of humanities. One craved exploration & research. The other, understanding & insight. One thought humans as expendable experiments... while the other saw everybody's value & worth. He could take their humanity & destroy it to make people his puppets. She'd take the remains of their memory & stash them away in her... magical filing cabinets... He pushed for progress. She demanded ethics. Though they've been together for so long & undoubtedly were... in love, they couldn't be together because of clashing ideals..."  
  


* * *

  
"And that's when her bugs puked on me & healed the--"  
"Dad?" Her drowsy eyes flickered.  
"Mm?"  
"Are we still gonna meet Mr. O. tomorrow?"  
"Yup. For merienda & tea."  
"Okay," she finally yawned, snuggling her Myra doll. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done at last... Now... ONTO THE (eventual) CRACK!!!


	19. Date Night Crack: Music Theory, Music Hypothesis

    The MOBIUS agent's scream was muffled. Naked & alone, he watched & struggled what little he could against the restraints. Cold steel from the surgical table pricked his skin as the mad scientist began to record his voice.  
"Subject number four twenty exhibits signs of the lorem ipsum condition. May need further analysis--" He reached for the table beside him while examining the guinea pig. All his free fingers felt was a gap between his instruments. A couple of fruitless grasps made him look at last. He sighed as he stopped recording. He hung his head for a second.  
"Nina!" He yelled to the ceiling.  
"Yeah?!" A woman's voice could be heard from outside the lab.  
"Where is my scalpel?!"  
"What?!"  
"Where! Is! My! Scalpel!"  
"I-uhh, put it away!"  
"Where?!"  
"Why do you need to know?!"   
"I need it!"  
"No way! That manky little thing's cut itself into one too many abdomens & you ain't getting yourself way too bloody before tonight! I've been planning this dinner for two months!"  
"My subject's already scared & in danger!"  
"My evening's in danger!"  
"You tell me where my scalpel is, woman! We are talking about the greater science!"  
"'Greater science?' I am your ex-girlfriend! I'm the greatest  _science_  you are ever gonna get!"  
    Again, Ruvik hung his head & rubbed the bridge of his nose. Stomping upstairs, he left the terrified subject to his thoughts.  _What just happened?_  


* * *

  
  
    Upstairs, Nina had manifested an intimate dinner for two while wearing a black ballgown  & hair reminiscent of Jennifer Connelly's character from " _Labyrinth_." She took one look at his hooded rags  & said "Nuh-uh." A snap & he's in complete formal along with the mask from " _Phantom of the Opera_."  


* * *

  
  
"Why?" He downed another glass of Cabernet.   
"Because," her eyes never lifted from the steak she was carving. "This is my coping mechanism in STEM. You don't have any."  
"Yes, I do."  
"Killing people isn't a coping mechanism, Ruben."  
"You're right. It's a pastime. Besides, I don't  _always_  kill  _all_ of them."  
"Yeah. Just maim & experiment on."  
  
    Thirty wine-soaked minutes later.  
"If mind over matter works, could you program Jimenez's brain to will hair growth?" Nina stared into her glass, swirling the vintage within. The question made Ruben stop cutting into his steak.  
"Nothing can save him from that receding hairline. It runs in his family."   
  
    One wine-soaked hour later.  
    In the music room, the couple shared the piano bench. Ruben was playing " _Ah! vous dirai-je, maman_."  
"Ever wonder why " _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star_ " & " _Baa, Baa, Black Sheep_ " have the same tune?" Nina's inquiry made him stop. Then he played the beginning to " _Twinkle Twinkle_." Then stopped. The played the start of " _Baa, Baa_." Then stopped. Then played from the start.  
"A, B, C, D, E, F, G," Nina sang to the notes.   
  
    Five minutes later.  
    Ruben played " _Fur Elise_ " as Nina's chin rested on the keys he didn't need.  
"Who do you think would win in thumb wrestling? Debussy or Beethoven?"  
"Beethoven. But Rachmaninoff or Liszt could kill them. Rachmaninoff has big hands. Liszt has reach."  
  
    Three minutes later.  
    "You know, pop songs only use four chords?"  
"What songs. I don't have time to listen to plebeian drivel."  
"Translation: I have lived under a rock since birth."  
"At least a rock doesn't smell of of a barn."  
"Ha. Yeah. But you were razed in one. Geddit? 'Cause... you know... "razed" with a... "z." Ha..." She swallowed as she pointed at him, maintaining a baked, awkward half-smile. Ruben stopped playing & walked out. Deadass.  
"Rude, Nina."  
"Wait!" She ran after him, ditching her pumps under the piano.  
  
    Two minutes later.  
    Her hosiery was draped on a chair. Close to his discarded mask, tie & coat. Ruben sat on the bench, in between her legs as she sat on the closed keys. Her poofy skirt was hiked to her thighs. Lips locked & molded one another, tasting of wine & conversation as Ruben caressed the outside of her upper legs.  
"Wait," she raised her hand. "I have an idea for tomorrow."  
  
    Tomorrow.  
    Nina, in her default form, lazily leaned on her elbow onto the covered keys as she sat on the bench backwards, watching the window.   
"Are you done yet?" Behind her, Ruvik had been tuning the thing for the past half hour.   
"In theory this should work," he placed the tuning lever down & joined Nina on the bench.   
She swivelled in place as he opened the keys. He played a familiar piano riff. Nothing happened.  
"Well that was anticlimac--" The piano bust through the wall. "Aaaaaaahhhh--" It sped outside the mansion as Ruvik continued to play the riff.  
  
    The light breeze blew gently against the sunflowers that fine day. Then the Victoriano piano blew past.  
"Makin' my way downtown--" Nina sang as they passed the blooms."Walkin' fast, faces pass & I'm home-bound. Starin' blankly ahead. Just makin' my way, makin' a way through the crooow-ooowwd..."   
    They stopped by an intersection as Hoffman, Sykes & O'Neal pulled violins out of seemingly nowhere & played the riff.   
"And I need you. And I miss you."  
Green meant go & the piano continued sailing down the boulevard.  
"And now I won- derrr..."   
    At a stoplight, Nina waved to Baste & Myra having coffee alfresco.  
"If I could fall into the sky..." At the change of the light they continued down the street.  
  
"Why don't you sing to me like that anymore, Sebastian?"  
"Uhhh..." He got up. "But I would walk five hundred miles & I! Would walk five hundred more just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door," he landed on bent knee before her after doing a jig in place.  
"Da da da!" Joseph proclaimed from a skyscraper window.    
"Da da da!" Kidman joined from a floor below.  
"Da da da!" Connelly yelled from a passing ambulance's speaker.    
"Da da da!" Lily rose between her parents from under the table.  
"Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da," Shade, The Keeper & The Administrator popped from separate manholes.  
"Da da da!" Esmeralda Torres skated by.    
"Da da da!" Stefano Valentini stood on the seat of his Vespa, other leg in the air.   
"Da da da!" Leslie rolled by in his red wagon.  
"Da da da!" Ivan Diaz shot out of nowhere beside Sebastian with a megaphone.  
"Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da," Nurse Tatiana colorlessly stated after pausing her red Triumph TR3.


	20. AU's, Outtakes, Crack, atbp.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> miscellaneous snippets (see title)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, Nina & Ruvik's relationship would've been portrayed more snarky & goofy like a bickering old married couple. But as the writing progressed, a lot of ideas had to be relegated to outtakes. Other scenes too, for better literary flow. Enjoy the madness (TM).

**"March"**  
  
 _Notes: Post-Chapter 15:_ _Interlude: Conversation_ _  
_  
The O'Hara woman got off her knees & exited her front door. Standing guard & waiting were several armed & masked Haunted. Blue tattoos of thorns of varying size & coverage covered their bodies. Their whiteless eyes watched her stern figure walk down the porch steps & approach the brim of her firewall. The flames parted as if bowing to their mistress, allowing passage. The fire could never hurt her but in its parting is a show of power. She led her platoon to the lake where tar bubbled & boiled. They all waded in & disappeared beneath the thick pitch.   
  
\---  
  
 **"Jojo's Subconscious"**  
  
 _Notes: During Chapter 12: Mata Hari & The Sleeping God. I am so sorry if this comes off as racist. Lord help us all.  
_  
    "Joseph? What do you know about Joseph?" Sebastian asked as Nina walked him through her place.  
"Uhhh... do you really wanna see him right now? He's kinda preoccupied."  
"What do you mean?"  
    Nina led the detective to a window. Through the glass they saw a sea of thick amber liquid & heard maniacal laughing. A wave came crashing through & who else was surfing but Jojo in maple leaf trunks, a rising sun headband while his glasses were still on.   
    Sebastian opened the window & dipped a finger into the viscous gel. He brought it to his nose then lips.  
"Maple syrup?"  
"Hey! Seb!" The wave still hadn't broken as Jojo continued to ride it while waving at his partner. Castellanos turned to Nina.  
"What exactly can we imagine in here?"  
"Anything, pretty much."  
"Anything?"  
  
    Clink! The cheers of steins coupled with laughter. Joseph's hot tub neighbored Sebastian's separate one. Around his arm was Myra in a silver bikini. Jojo's maple syrup bubbled while Seb kept his Horchata at an even tepid temperature. He took another swig.   
"Hey, neighbor. You mind if I--"  
"Go right ahead."  
    Detective Oda scooped his stein into his partner's pool then drank the contents. The taste of warm barley cascaded down his throat pleasantly.  
"That's good Horchata."  
  
\---  
  
 **"Rousseau & Hobbes"**  
  
    On separate church chandeliers, Nina & Ruvik stared each other down. With an outstretched arm, he asked.  
"Who do you think you are?"  
Nina shook her fist. "I'M THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO'S GONNA PROVE ROUSSEAU RIGHT BECAUSE HOBBES & YOU CAN GO SUCK AN EGG!" She flipped her hair defiantly while forcing her chandelier to swing.  
"What?"  
"Banzai!" At the peak of the swing, Nina lunged for Ruvik. Everything seemed to flow in slowmo. But in midair she exclaimed as time stopped. "Wait! Wait! I can do better!" Time rewound to her swinging on the chandelier. "Iiiiiiim! Gonna swing! From the chande-heh-liiiiieeeehhhh! From the chande-heh-liiiiieeeehhhh!" She jumped & caught Ruvik's throat between her thighs. "Yeet!" She exclaimed on impact.  
    Disturbed dust surrounded them in clouds as Ruvik's back collided with the rug. She bent down.  
"Since we're in a church, when you gon' propose?"  
"Get a room!" Kidman yelled, hand cupped around her mouth's edge.  
"Room! Room!" Leslie covered his eyes but peeped through his fingers anyway.  
  
    Blam! The church doors opened. In waltzed Seb with a harried Joseph.   
Oda asked, "About Myra--"  
"It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not kill her! I did NOT--" his eyes shot to the four of them. "O hi, guys!"  
"Hi, Seb," they waved simultaneously.  
  
 _Notes:  
Beliefs/ statements paraphrased/minced:  
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau- Man is inherently good  
-Thomas Hobbes- Man's life is nasty, brutish & short_  
  
\---  
  
 **"Desiderata"**  
  
 _Notes: Post-Chapter 9: Perfect Places  
_  
    Holding the pillow, Nina slumbered soundly. Sheets wrapped around her bare body rose & fell with her. Ruben looked upon her fondly before examining her bedroom.  
    Updated & far more sophisticated than when he saw it last in their youth. The bed frame a deep, engraved wood. Souvenirs like a Venetian mask hung on the walls & sat on her desk. Kokeshi & Matryoshka dolls. Some scattered postcards. Museum brochures. Another bookshelf or two added. Some of her favorite sketches of Laura taped to the walls. (A smile tugged at his lips at these.) And right by her nightstand he saw a notebook.  
    Irked by curiosity, he picked it up. And opened it. Staring back at him were his own eyes. Silver beneath a pronounced, hairless brow. Silver against the yellows & reds of bloodshot sclera. Surrounded by countless charcoal wrinkles. The texture of soot eerily familiar as he gingerly felt the paper's surface then rubbing his fingertips. He flipped through the notebook. Nina stirred but did not wake. A network of scar tissue. Closeups of his mouth. The sutures bolting the clear dome down. The expanse of his torso & back, lovingly detailed. Yet smudged in the right way to present the rise & falls of damaged skin. Far detracted from the cold anatomical drawings he's stared at for forever. Some he even penned himself. These sketches were...  _alive_  for lack of a better term.   
  
    But one page has him stopping to a halt: his eyes raked over blonde hair & flawless skin. A man about the same age as him, wearing a suit. He stared at him sternly with frigid, grey eyes.  
  
\---  
  
 **"Memento Mori"**  
  
 _Notes: During Chapter 8: Rival Gods_  
  
    Ruben smiled into the hand that pressed against his face. Such tenderness after battling was quite unexpected. He held her hand. But not long after, she flinches. His eyes open to her worried look, her eyes searching the floor. Once she met his gaze, her lips parted.  
"What did you do with my body?"  
They both let go.  
    He exited the library & she followed suit. Past the doors was already the subterranean lab. There on a steel table, Nina saw her own body: yet to be water logged & being bathed with great care by Ruben. He was still in the same ensemble he murdered her in. He had stripped her of her clothes & was currently raking through her hair as he held the shower head above her face. Her still expression only hinted at pain but remained unmoving. Nina watched as he stroked her arm as droplets rolled off; Raising it for better access despite the difficulty rigor mortis brings. He lowers her limb. But before settling it down, he gives her this one last look-- a mix of longing & annoyance. And he takes the cadaver's hand & kisses her knuckles.  
    Nina felt anger flicker in her heart. But nothing could ignite against the tears threatening to fall. She stared at their teenaged selves longingly. But as she reached out for them, thunder & lightning flashed overhead.   
  
    At the side, somewhere between the front & back yard, under a tree by the stone walls' lonely corner was a fresh mound of dirt. On it, lay a bundle of sunflowers.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -atbp.- "at iba pa," Filipino for "etcetera/miscellaneous/ and others"


End file.
